Spaceships? Really? Wow, that takes me back…

Welcome back readers!

There’s been some surprising events in nerddom the last week or so, so I’m going to tell you all about it! You remember, the reason why I actually set this blog up. Surely you haven’t forgotten?

We start this week with something thought impossible – SyFy USA are apparently making space opera again! Yes, they’ve been promising that since the 2009 rebranding to SyFy (I still can’t type that without feeling unclean), but they’re giving it another go. The first show announced is the mini-series Ascension, about a murder on a colony ship that left Earth during the Cold War and which was described as ‘part Battlestar, part Downtown Abbey’, which is a description that made me want to vomit a little. They’ve also announced there’ll be less of their infamous B-movies and they want to make more mini-series, both things I support and which almost make’s up for them cancelling Being Human. Now, if they could only cut back on the ghost hunting shows…

Less of this will be lovely.

The Big Bang Theory has been renewed for three more seasons, which I’m sure will make some people happy. I am not one of those people. We have a good look at the new costume for the Arrow spin off The Flash and some on-set footage from the pilot. For those who missed it, John Wesley Shipp (Who played the Flash in the 1990’s series) will also be appearing in the show, though whether it’s a recurring role is as yet -unknown. The real question is whether you could get Mark Hamill to reprise his role as the Trickster…

We have a list of actors said to be in line for the main part in Star Wars Episode 7 and Dave Filoni released the last batch of concept art from The Clone Wars, whose cancellation continues to annoy me. Marvel have been having meetings with Lucasfilm, presumably about the having taking over the comics license while Ron Moore has said he lost arguments to George Lucas during the initial planning of the live action Star Wars series. If you’re going to lose an argument about Star Wars to some one, Lucas isn’t a bad person to lose to, unless that argument concerns Midichlorians or Gungans.

You know it does explain an awful lot…

Adrian Pasdar will be appearing on Agents of SHIELD, playing Glenn Talbot, who’s day job in the comics was trying to find the Hulk (And you thought you had bad days…) and the first picture from the Constantine series gives me hope. Really, just add a cigarette and you could have John Constantine. We also have a list of the people who could be directing Doctor Strange and some possible details on the Agent Carter series. The idea of short seasons with a self contained arc really appeals to me, but that could be the British television I grew up on.

There’s a list of candidates to play Victor Von Doom in the Fantastic Four reboot, which didn’t cause as much of a fuss as the casting of the Four themselves did. So, Johnny Storm’s being played by a black guy and a skinny Englishman is The Thing? Well, it can’t be as big a piece of miscasting as Jessica Alba as Sue Storm, so that’s something. And look on the bright side, it could cause another hilarious kerfuffle like when Idris Elba was cast as Heimdall in Thor. It’s probably a sign of something wrong with me, but I find racists screaming about how they’re being oppressed as beautiful a sound as a purring cat or the hum of a lightsaber.

Or they could just release this one…

In further conservative wackiness, a pair of right wing radio hosts in the US have slammed Frozen, accusing it of pushing, and I quote, a homosexual agenda and a pro-bestiality message. Sure, they haven’t actually seen the film yet, but why let a little thing like that stop them?

Chris Evans will be seeing out his 6 film contract to play Captain America (While Sebastian Stan has a 9 film contract, only equalled by Samuel L Jackson), we’ve a new clip from The Winter Soldier and a look at the Falcon, played by Anthony Mackie. The Russo brothers will be directing Captain America 3, which was due to be released the same day as Batman vs Superman, which was subsequently moved up a week. Your move Marvel, your move…

A pair of new recurring characters have been announced for the next season of Doctor Who. Firstly, there’s the mysterious Ms Delphox, played by Keeley Hawes (Ashes to Ashes) and Danny Pink, who works at Coal Hill School where Clara teaches, a school that long term Who nerds should recognise … (Is anyone taking bets on Ms Delphox being the Rani yet?) Meanwhile, 7^th Doctor Sylvester McCoy has let slip that a certain character is set to return this year, which if the rumoured casting is true makes me very, very happy.

You can always judge a man by the quality of his enemies.

JK Simmons (Better known as J Jonah Jameson in the Tobey Maguire Spider-Man movies) has joined the cast of Terminator: Genesis and Something Wicked this Way Comes (Based off the Ray Bradbury story) is being remade. The wonderful people behind the Doctor Who podcast Splendid Chaps are working on a new audio series Night Terrace, about a house travelling through time and space, which will star Jackie Woodburn from Neighbours. The team have launched a Kickstarter and are, at the time of writing, almost halfway funded.

Helena Bonham Carter will be returning for the Alice in Wonderland sequel and Rooney Mara (The American version of Girl in the Dragon Tattoo) will be playing Tiger Liley in Pan, the prequel to Peter Pan that has Hugh Jackman as Blackbeard. Abruptly switching topics to the ‘things I really wish we didn’t need’ section, the folks at Oni Press have come up with a series of convention harassment penalty cards. Because, sadly, kicking people in the junk is against convention rules.

We end this week with something mighty strange, yes even stranger than the Game of Thrones rap album. (Which, in it’s defence, is free) It’s a pair of cakes, which may not sound strange, but the first one is Dark Crystal themed and the second a cake version of the split face monster from John Carpenter’s The Thing. If someone presented me with a cake like that, I wouldn’t be getting ready to cut it, I’d be too busy RUNNING SCREAMING LIKE ALL SENSIBLE PEOPLE.

Quote of the Week:

Anakin Skywalker: I hitched a ride on a cargo freighter.

Padmé Amidala: What happened to your military transport?

Anakin Skywalker: Eh… it blew up.

The Clone Wars – Senate Spy

Trailers, trailers, trailers!

Bit of a change in the format this week, as instead of a general news update, we’re taking a more in-depth look at some of the trailers released in the last couple of weeks.

First cab off the rank, Transformers: Age of Extinction. Now, despite all evidence to the contrary (AKA, his entire career), I believe Michael Bay could make a good movie. It’s unlikely I grant you, but I’ve long been a sucker for a lost cause. Judging from what I’ve seen, this won’t be it. The trailer gives us a good dose of the Bay trademarks – shaky camera work so as to almost make you vomit, explosions masquerading as plot development, quick cuts so as to make what’s happening nearly incomprehensible and a base level of “AMERICA FUCKYEAH!” well above the recommended healthy level. Mercifully, we’re spared Shia LeBeouf in this one, who’s currently busy having a public meltdown. Seriously, I hope the guy is either A: Trying a Joquain Phoenix-esque fake out, or B: get’s help. Moving on…

What we think happened: after the events of Chicago in Dark of the Moon (Which I still don’t fully understand, as I was fast forwarding between the parts with giant robots – it made for a far better, though more confusing film) public sentiment has turned against the Transformers, leading to the US military they once worked with to hunt them down. Mark Wahlberg unwittingly buys a deactivated and shot up Optimus Prime (Now back in his old-school truck cab mode), which results in the Men in Black coming to take him. There follows explosions, screaming and a ‘Don’t mess with Texas’ reference.

Seriously, how hard is this to screw up?

There’s one word for what I’m hoping to see in the franchise and we finally get it: Dinobots. Mind you, out of the 5, we get a brief shot of Grimlock in T-Rex mode and what appears to be Swoop. I saw appears to be, because Swoop was a Pteranadon, not a Hydra/Insert two headed winged beast I’ve forgotten the name of. Congratulations Michael Bay, you’ve screwed up again. You’ve taken an idea as pure and elemental as giant robot dinosaurs and managed to make me angry about it. Congratufuckinglations.

Next up, the Robert Rodriguez and Frank Miller helmed Sin City: A Dame to Kill For, the long in development sequel/prequel to the 2005 film. Has it really been that long? Well, Rodriquez was busy announcing projects that were never made while Miller was writing Holy Terror, a graphic novel that began life as ‘Batman beats up Al-Qaeda,’ so some delays were inevitable.

If you’ve seen the first film, you know what to expect. If you didn’t, I’ll sum it up for you: sex, more sex, a little violence, and some sex, with a hard boiled narration stuck over the top. If you enjoyed the first, the second should have more of the same. Eva Green as the dame of the title is a good choice, she’s a fine actress and should be able to chew the scenery with the rest of the cast. Most of the cast from the first film are returning, with Bruce Willis and Mickey Rourke the most prominent. (Yes, they died in the first film, but the timeline of the stories jumps around.) All in all, it’s exactly what I’d expected.

Oh Frank Miller, PLEASE CHANGE. Please?

Briefly turning to games, the trailer for the latest Batman game, Batman: Arkham Knight, has leaked. I have to wonder, with the way that Gotham is presented in the games, is anyone but Batman and criminals left? I get that it’s a terrible place, but it comes across as more war zone less crime riddled city. Either way, it looks like we’ll get the chance to drive the Batmobile, which means there’s a chance that someone will mod the Adam West Batmobile into the game, which will be GLORIOUS.

Then we have the latest trailer for Godzilla and after watching that, we’re contractually obligated to say the following: History shows again and again how nature points out the folly of man… Bryan Cranston is shouting, Ken Watanabe is doing that thing he does with his voice that makes me want to listen to him read a phonebook and the Big G (No, not Galactus) is a figure of fear and terror again. It’s sure looking like the Godzilla film we hoped for in 1998, but didn’t get.

Moving on, we have the latest preview for Captain America: The Winter Soldier, which is almost 3 minutes from the film’s opening sequence and some new footage. It’s nothing major, but I love the banter between Cap and the Black Widow – it’s running at an almost Joss Whedon level. Oh, and $5 say’s the big SHIELD eagle in the foyer won’t survive till the end.

Lastly, we have the first trailer for Guardians of the Galaxy, which is well, different. A rag tag group of misfits (Who comprise a human everyone thinks is mad, a green skinned woman and heavily muscled man and the duo of a talking raccoon and his best friend who’s a tree) out to save the galaxy from… something? I’m in. It does seem to be pitched more as a comedy than previous Marvel films, but I’d say it’s about time. It’s also about time for a female led superhero movie (Yes, you can mention Catwoman or Elektra, but I want a good female led movie), but that’s a rant for another time. I can’t say I’m a fan of Bradley Cooper as Rocket Raccoon (There’s a preview of his voice here) but Vin Diesel as Groot is a fantastic idea. (Especially if it’s anything like his last voice acting gig…) Oh and yes, the bald woman with the knives? Yes, that is Karen Gillan.

Come along Pond.

So what does all this mean? It means I’m going to be spending a lot of time in cinema’s this year and hopefully not coming out of them screaming in nerdrage. Your thoughts readers?

SOUNDWAVE 2014 – AN UNBIASED LOOK BACK

And so it was that I journeyed to Perth for the final Soundwave festival of 2014 and possibly the final Soundwave in Perth ever. Here follows a review of sorts of the day.

First off, heavy metal fans are lovely. Seriously, they may not look it, but I’ve not met a friendlier bunch. Happy to spend time in food queues chatting, several were very complimentary towards my kilt and I wasn’t the only one wearing one! Sadly I didn’t think to get a photo with him, nor of the woman with the Game of Thrones/Ramones mash-up shirt. One bone to pick though, many attendees seemed to think that taking rubbish to bins was as exhausting as climbing Everest, given the vast amounts of garbage strewn about the venue. Whoever was set up to clean the venue afterwards, you have my sympathies and respect. You deserved to be paid far more than whatever you got.

Secondly, as comfortable as a kilt is, a sporran isn’t exactly made for moshing. It holds a wallet and keys securely, but it’s about crotch height and bounces about a bit, so yeah… Not painful, but definitely noticeable. That and the tassels on mine sounded like a bad horse trotting sound effect. It was like doing a radio play, but instead of a pair of coconut halves all they had was a Scotsman. Moving on…

The writer post show.

There was also one mother of a line to get in, which stretched for at least a kilometre around the venue. So, while it took almost half an hour to get in, I did get to hear snippets of Amon Amarth and the Porkers’ sets while slowly winding my way around the block. After an amusing moment when security started to ask to check my pockets and discovered I didn’t have any, I headed straight for the Porkers. Sadly (or thankfully) they were minus their infamous mascot the Porkman, best known for drenching himself in VB and going crowd surfing. Still, for first cab off the rank (A bloody horrible position for any band to be in), they did well.

Fun Fact: I touched the Porkman once during a crowd surf many years ago. I washed my hand.

They were just as I remember them, playing songs about beer, psychotic girlfriends, beer, going out and drinking and beer. There may also have been a song about beer… Full points for keeping the crowd going, given though, as singer Pete Porker mock complained, most of them were waiting for the following band. They ended with an announcement that as their festival was over, they’d be sidestage if anyone wanted to sell them drugs. C’mon guys, it wasn’t even noon.

Then it was time for more water before Nancy Vandal, who were as gloriously stupid as I remember. Highlights included the debut of the bonerphone, a combination dildo and musical instrument and singer Fox Trotsky’s observation that “Every time I yell thankyou the audience feels it needs to clap, good work.” The set featured such NV ‘classics’ as There’s no I in Rock, Piss on my Weetbix (Introduced as ‘another of their food songs’), Frenzal Rhomb were better when Ben was in the band, Death Metal Song (aka SATAN IS TOPS!) and When I Squeeze my Nose I sound like Axl Rose, which prompted Trotsky to bring out some ”stadium rock pyrotechnics straight from Paul Stanley’s collection”, which turned out to be 3 sparklers duct taped to his guitar and which proved almost impossible to light. They ended with ‘Move Over Satan’ and brought a much needed sense of humour to the day.

Stadium rock silliness at it’s finest

After a bit of wandering through the merch stands (Which had not a single Skindred shirt to be found, a point I’ll come to), it was time for Testament, who didn’t disappoint at all. Chuck Billy’s roaring announced their arrival and the band was in fine form. It doesn’t get much better than seeing Into the Pit live, does it? Their set culminated with Billy urging the crowd into a Wall of Death, which is basically splitting the audience down the middle and having them smash into at each other full speed, like two very hairy phalanxes. I have this little thing called ‘low tolerance for pain’, so I was happy to escape it. Even more so, when waiting in the food queue afterwards I was told a guy had fallen out of it and immediately vomited. Charming.

Alex Skolnick and Chuck Billy trading riffs

The break between the bands was spent in the food queue, then it was time for GWAR, whose set was interrupted by the arrival of PM Tony Abbott demanding it be shut down. I don’t know how many in the crowd got singer Oderus Unrungus’ roar of ‘You’re nothing without Costello’ before Abbott was decapitated, but I did. Sadly I was well up the back and really, without being able to see them there’s not much point of seeing them live, which also meant I missed them mutilate Queen Elizabeth. They hadn’t run out of stage blood though, drenching the first several rows, which made it very obvious those who’d been in the crowd and I’m sure caused a lot of confusion for the first aid crew.

More wandering resulted in catching the last chunk of Filter’s set and I was lucky enough to hear all 3 of their songs that I know (Trip like I Do, Take a Picture and Hey Man, Nice Shot). So, yay me! I also hadn’t planned on catching the last chunk of Pennywise, but what I did get was a few songs and a meandering discussion of some cops the band they been drinking with (And who apparently do cocaine, though that was quickly denied).The older I get the funnier I find ‘society is trying to bring us down’ songs, but I can’t deny the emotion behind Bro Hymn, dedicated to several late friends of the band.

I was feeling kind of rubbish at this point, which could be been the heat, or the thing I’d eaten that sort of resembled a hot dog. Skindred fixed all that, with an explosive and downright awesome set. Hitting the stage to a funked up Imperial March, they proceeded be the band of the day. Singer Benji Webbe, of the ever changing sunglasses, was in fine form encouraging, nay DEMANDING, that the crowd get up and dance. Yes, at times it was more abusive than encouraging (He really didn’t like the left section of the audience), but it got a response, so who am I to argue? We also got a plea to support live music and buy a t-shirt, which I would have done had any been available. Their set ended with the now traditional ‘Newport Helicopter’, which had everyone in the crowd removing a piece of clothing and swinging it about like loons. Oh, and there was a cheeky burst of Carly Simon’s Nobody Does it Better as they left the stage. Gotta love a healthy ego.

Benji says jump, YOU JUMP.

Rocket from the Crypt were next door and while I hadn’t planned on watching them, I’m a sucker for a band in matching stage gear. They did their thing with class, their singer remarking that “It’s an honour to play so close to the toilets” and that he didn’t know any of the other guys names, as they’d answered his Craiglist ad. Good fun.

The it was time for the mass exodus to see Rob Zombie, who’s stage was decorated with massive posters of vintage horror films, a huge King Kong looming over it. A hint Rob: don’t start bitching that your hotel room was bigger than the stage space after your first song. A couple more songs of his and that was it for me, as I wanted to beat the crowds leaving. Yes, I’m old and have a low tolerance for crowds of drunks.

In round up, I present the following:

Was it a good day? Hell yes.

Should I get a better camera? Most certainly.

Do I still prefer smaller gigs? Very much so.

Would I recommend it? Yep, it was a great experience. I’m not in a rush to go back, but I still had a lot of fun.

An open letter to the Bugle podcast

(The following is a transcript of an email sent to The Bugle podcast)

Hello Andy, Chris and John (In alphabetical order),

I write to you on behalf of all Australia in a time of desperate need. You see, we need your help, much like Princess Leia needed the help of Obi-Wan Kenobi in Star Wars. Yes, I know we’ve had our differences, what with our stealing Tom and certain diplomatic incidents, but I’m prepared to put all that behind us if you can help us.

You see, our current Prime Minister, Tony Abbott (The man who described the Syrian conflict as baddies vs baddies) has been something of a grade-A arsehole. His recent statements have included saying he wouldn’t support the creation of new national parks, claiming the national broadcaster wasn’t on Australia’s side, trying to discredit asylum seekers and threatened to deport them if they spit, swear or irritate people and claiming that women have smashed the glass ceiling in this country, despite having just one woman in his cabinet. As you can imagine, we’re in serious need of some serious satire, satire of the quality that only your find podcast can provide.

Now, thrash metal band Gwar have been decapitating Abbott on stage during their recent tour, but that’s not enough. Therefore, I beg that you satirise the living shit out of our Prime Minister to the best of your considerable abilities. If you can do this, then I, and all Australian Buglers (By which I mean all Australians past, present and future) will be forever in your debt. This is our most desperate hour. Help us John and Andy, you’re our only hope.

Thank you,

Gavin.

INTO. THE PIT.

Testament/Metraya

Oxford Art Factory 26/02/14

A small crowd of mostly men outside a venue in Oxford Street isn’t surprising, even more so as it’s coming up to Mardi Gras night. A small crowd of mostly men clad in band t-shirts, with a few fantastic 80’s era denim cut-off jackets covered in patches, that’s different. Well, as far as I know – if anyone wants to prove me wrong, please do so.

The mighty Testament, veterans of the Bay Area thrash scene have returned to Australia on the Soundwave tour, and are playing several sideshows. I’m flying to Perth to see them at Soundwave, but the chance to see them in a tiny club? There was no way in hell I was missing this.

The support was a welcome surprise, with Wollongong band Metraya replacing Newsted at the last minute (According to one of their guitarists, who’s also a former co-worker of mine, at 2:30 that afternoon…) and got the crowd going with an energetic set. My list of funny stage banter* also has a new entry, with “We are Metraya, and this is a song called METRAYA!” (I love bands who write songs about themselves – see also Hammerfall and Manowar) Despite having a fairly thankless job (Several people in the crowd were wondering why they didn’t just let Testament play longer), they got a good reaction with 40 minutes of early Slayer esque thrashing and left the stage to cheers. Check em’ out.

Metraya doing their thing

40 minutes later, (Which featured a section of audience near me having a sing-along to Master of Puppets) and the strains of Hendrix’s Star Spangled Banner and Testament hit the stage, storming through Rise Up to applause and roars in equal measure.

Guitarists Alex Skolnick and Eric Peterson and new/returning bassist Steve DiGiorgio (Mjolnir pendant round his neck) were in fine form, frequently stepping up on the monitors to shred (Ala Steve Harris) and nearly hitting the ceiling in the process. Drummer Gene Hoglan smacked seven shades of shit out of his kit and singer Chuck Billy’s habit of air guitaring using a half-length microphone stand never get’s old. We got a good mix of old and new, with the highlights mostly the sing along songs, such as More than Meets the Eye (Which isn’t, as far as I know, about the Transformers), Dark Roots of Earth and an utterly storming Into the Pit, while Native Blood was dedicated to the local indigenous population. What was most evident though, was the sense of how much fun the band were having – there were smiles all round, with Skolnick’s goofy grin as he unleashed another brutal riff a sight to behold. I could grumble about the set only being an hour and 20, but it was worth it for the atmosphere. You can take your stadium gigs and shove them – give me a tiny room and the ability to make eye contact with the stage any time. Oh, and Gene Hoglan brushed past me on his way outside pre-gig. *swoons*

Alex Skolnick (Left) and Eric Peterson (Right) duelling axes

Heads were banged. Horns were thrown. Beer was drunk. It was a metal show. What more is there to say?

*The top of the list is Down singer Phil Anselmo introducing a song about marijuana legalisation with “This one goes out to… Where the fuck are we?”

STRANGER IN A STRANGE LAND

Is an underrated Iron Maiden song, but that’s not what I’m talking about. I’m here to talk about gaming, specifically live action gaming.

The New Zealand LARP scene is awesome – seriously, it’s freaking awesome. Thanks to having the best wife in the world, I got to spend a day LARPing, on a holiday that was primarily about attending a family wedding. Do I have the best wife? Yes, yes I do). I’d previously gone there to game for the opening of St Wolfgang’s Vampire Hunters (I’m still embarrassed that they wrote plot for me, but couldn’t wake me) back in 2007 and itched to go back ever since.

We were talking part in the introductory games for the up-coming campaign Crucible, which sees several nations arriving on a mysterious new island. We, the crew, were playing members of the Wild Hunt, a grouping of the children of the forest such as trolls, satyrs, dryads etc and were made up as such.

A very exhausted, slightly dehydrated troll with half his face melted off

The 2 games that took place on the day saw the arrival on the island of the two of the game’s factions, the Drazhar and the Alteraanians. The Drazhar (Who are basically the Dothraki from Game of Thrones with a little less rape and pillage, a little more action) arrived, only to find themselves confronted by angry natives (That’d be us, the crew) and mostly unarmed (Whether a player had their weapons at the start was decided by a game of Rock/Paper/Scissors beforehand). Wisely, they chose to surrender.

After taking them back to our encampment (Around the corner from a pair of sunbathers, who were giving us some very strange looks), they were prodded with questions, tested on their skills and told to pick 3 of their landing to chase down a captive of ours, a sorcerer of the Ebon Legion, an NPC (Non Player Character) faction of demon worshippers despised by all. In this, they failed miserably, but it was A: stupidly hot and B: several were wearing armour. The game ended with a rousing fight between the new allies and a group of the Legion, which was a rousing victory for the good guys. (I played little part in the battle, but I’m open about the fact I’m a fairly shit fighter.)

The second game had a lot less details – basically, fight, rest and fight. The Alteraanians (A race of merchants and the richest of the factions) were confronted by an angry group of the Wild Hunt as they picked themselves up off the beach. We’d been instructed not to kill any of them, but give them a good scare. This, we managed quite well, as they’d left themselves spread out and unable to protect many of the more squishy members of their band. The second battle saw them much improved, bottle necking an opening with fighters with heavy armour and shields. Needless to say we tried, but got battered down repeatedly. And thus ended the day…

It was a blast and made the ensuing exhaustion, mild sunburn and feeling of “Oh gods, I’ve not used those muscles in far too long” worth it. It’s also made me want to do more work on getting the Sydney scene in shape, so we could one-day have games that Kiwis want to come play. Of the two games that I know of, Journeyman is the closest to getting going (And by which I mean it needs a lot of work), while Swordcraft Sydney (An offshoot of the Melbourne game) is still in the early stages. Not to mention, the I kind of owe the Freeform Collective a game…

SOUNDWAVE SUPERIOR, CONSTRUCTICONS INFERIOR

First off, if you know what the title of this post references, you have taste. *light applause*

Secondly, I’m back from New Zealand and am busily catching up on all the news I missed while I was stuck with shitty Wi-Fi. Still coming down from a fantastic LARP experience (Which I’ll be writing about later) and walking through Hobbiton, which is eyeball meltingly beautiful.

It’s a week till Soundwave Perth and they finally released a timetable. There’s only one major clash and I’ve got enough time between bands to hydrate etc. Anyhow, here’s what the timetable looks like:
11:00-11:40 The Porkers / Amon Amarth – The Porkers bring the awesome, but Amon have a longship as part of the stage show. Well, half of a longship, but it’s still HALF OF A FUCKING LONGSHIP. Tough choice. Boils down to songs about beer and not getting laid or songs about Vikings and mead. Tough choice.
12:00-12:30 Nancy Vandal – Cheap jokes, teenage nostalgia and songs about the Simpsons. Who could resist that?
1:20-2:00 Testament – A large chunk of the reason I’m going. So long as they play ‘Into the Pit’ I’ll be happy, but if they play ‘The Persecuted Won’t Forget’ I’ll be ecstatic.
2:40-3:20 GWAR – It’s for the stage show.
5:40-6:20 Skindred – It’d be too much to ask for a Dub War cover or two, but a man can dream right? Still, watching Benji Webbe do his thing is worth it.
7:15-8:15 Rob Zombie – As with Gwar, it’s for the stage show. Maybe a White Zombie tune or two?
8:45-10:00 Avenged Sevenfold – What I’ve heard of them I’ve enjoyed, but they apparently insisted on playing in the dark so I’m guessing they’ll be a lot of pyro and more KABOOM is good in my book.

So, only one question remains – do I wear my kilt or not? Readers?

Trailers, titles and television.

Welcome dear readers!

Sorry for being a bit late this week – the heat has once again conspired against me. Not much has happened of interest, outside of booking for the Soundwave Festival! I’ve resisted festivals in the past, but there’s too many bands at this one I really want to see who, as a bonus, are touring here for the first time, primarily the mighty Testament and ragga metallers Skindred.

It’ s been a week for new trailers, with a gorgeous spot for Amazing Spider-Man 2 stuffed full of Easter Eggs for fans, the new Muppets Most Wanted cheerfully mocking studios use of Twitter quotes for press and a pair of jaw dropping new trailers for Captain America: The Winter Soldier, which drops more hints about what’s going on without actually spiling anything. Compare and contrast that with the first teaser for Transformers: Age of Extinction, which is 30 seconds of slow motion CGI, explosions and Mark Wahlberg looking dramatic. Well, that and the AWE INSPIRING -sight of Optimus Prime riding Grimlock into battle like GIANT ROBOT DINOSAUR CALVALRY. (You have no idea just how much fun that was to type)

Grimlock love you, but only have 14 hours to save Cybertron!

Some interesting casting news happened, with the news that Jesse Eisenberg is Lex Luthor and Jeremy Irons is Alfred in Batman vs Superman. Eisenberg’s an interesting choice for a younger Luthor, while Irons is British, so, yeah. We also have another possible title for the film, Man of Steel: Fight or Flight. That’s terrible, but it’s the least terrible option so far – yay for the lesser evil! In more British casting news, Paul Bettany (The voice of JARVIS in the Iron Man movies) will be playing The Vision in Avengers: Age of Ultron. This – this I’m a fan of.

It’s now time to play the unverified casting rumour game! First up, Evangeline Lilly is said to be in talks for the female lead in Ant-Man (We don’t know if it’s Janet Van Dyne yet either) and Dwayne Johnson tweeted #LanternCanWhupSuperman and thus set the speculation train moving again. So we’re ignoring the Ryan Reynolds version? If it means we get him playing Deadpool, I’m OK with that.

Moving back to Captain America 2, there’s a gallery of new pictures, a preview clip (Taken from the Thor: The Dark World Blu-Ray) that has a pretty massive spoiler in it and there’s a competition running over what TV show Cap will be watching during the film. Sadly it’s only for the UK release, but I still voted for Doctor Who, which is coming second behind Sherlock, with Father Ted a distant third. It’s also set to have a knock on effect for Age of Ultron and Agents of SHIELD, which, if you aren’t watching, means Clark Gregg doesn’t like you.

How can you say no to a face like that?

Plans are apparently in the works for a sequel to Guardians of the Galaxy by 2016, Drew Pearce (Who wrote the Marvel one-shot All Hail the King) has been talking about Runaways (About a group of children who discover their parents are supervillains) and the gag reel for Thor: The Dark World as is awesome as you’d expect. We have what could be the first look at Quicksilver and the Scarlet Witch of X-Men: Days of Future Past and director Marc Webb has announced actor BJ Novak’s role in Amazing Spider-Man 2. We’d just tell you, but there’s possible spoilers, so yeah. Consider yourselves warned!

We’ve had some movement on the Fantastic Four reboot – several blogs were threatened with legal action after reporting a strange synopsis. Said synopsis was, well, different, so the threats were initially taken as evidence that it was genuine. Thankfully, director Josh Trank has debunked it, saying the only similarities are ‘there are characters named Reed, Sue, Johnny and Ben,’which is nice and reassuring. Meanwhile, casting has indicated they’re open to a female Doctor Doom. I’m not totally against that, but can’t they just use Lucia Von Bardas instead?

A sequel to The Lego Movie is already being planned and while I really want to see the movie, it’s more than a bit depressing that it’s Wonder Woman’s cinema debut. That’s right DC Comics and Warner Brothers – LEGO BEAT YOU. In more uplifting Lego news, a Lego version of the X-Men’s mansion has been proposed and it is downright amazing. Seriously, it’s even got a Danger Room in there. A new clip and details of the soundtrack for Knights of Badassdom have been released (It’s Bear McCreary – I’m buying it) and staying with gaming, we recently had the 40^th anniversary of Dungeons and Dragons! By the way, did you know that Ice-T recently narrated a D&D audiobook?

Yes, that’s Ice-T playing a mutant kangaroo. In his defence, it was the 90’s…

Painkiller Jane (Previously a TV movie and series on the SyFy channel) may be headed for the big screen and the adaption of JG Ballard’s novel High Rise will star Tom Hiddleston. In mixed news, Snowpiercer will be uncut upon its released in the US, but it’ll be getting a limited arthouse cinema release. So equal amounts of yay and booo!

Turning to the idiot box, alternate history comic The Red Star is coming to television, as is a series based on John Scalzi’s book Redshirts, about the more expendable members of a starship crew, and it’s been confirmed that Preacher will be airing on AMC. SyFy US are developing a series based on the DC Comics series DMZ, Studio Ghibli are working on a new anime series and the CW’s The Flash series has cast Iris West.

There’s some new propaganda posters for Star Wars: Rebels and if you’re (Quite rightly) concerned about the Constantine series, he’ll be from London and will have the accent. Neil Gaiman has given an update on the TV versions of his books American Gods and Anansi Boys and read Dr Suess’s Green Eggs and Ham. It’s glorious, trust me. The only thing that could out cute that this week has been Benedict Cumberbatch’s appearance on Sesame Street and that was magnificent.

Ia! Ia! Gaiman fhtagn!

The adaption of video game Uncharted has a director, Zachary Quinto will be co-starring in the reboot of Hitman, but we won’t be seeing a 6^th Resident Evil film this year, for which we must be thankful for small mercies. In things we should be thankful for without sarcasm, a CG Chip and Dale: Rescue Rangers film is being planned. My inner child would like to argue about how it’ll be butchered like all the other movies based on 80’s cartoons, but it’s too busy singing the theme tune to care.

We end this week discussing, as I frequently do, the glory of the lightsaber, which is still my favourite sword of all. Yes, the longsword is a beautiful and elegant weapon, as are the katana and rapier and I have a lot of love for the simplicity of the gladius, but none of them have the same effect on me as the hum of a lightsaber. Anyhow, there’s an example of a lightsaber fight in the dark and a series of lightsaber combat academies have opened in Italy. Sure, it’s a geekier version of sport fencing, but if that get’s more people into swordsmanship, than I’m OK with that.

Quote of the Week:

“Hey,” said Shadow. “Huginn or Muninn, or whoever you are.”
The bird turned, head tipped, suspiciously, on one side, and it stared at him with bright eyes.
“Say ‘Nevermore,'” said Shadow.
“Fuck you,” said the raven.”

Neil Gaiman, American Gods

Cheers,

Gavin

Huh? We’re back on?

Hey all,

So, there’s not been much blogging of late. I’d like to blame the heat, or any number of other factors, but the truth is I’m rubbish without a deadline. The last few days has mostly been writing for a LARP I’m in and listening to Dio era Black Sabbath. There’s far worse ways to spend the time, but possibly more productive ways. Anyhow, we’re back, so let’s get this going.

We start this week with more than the recommended dose of “You’re joking, right?” I’d love to find a witty way to introduce this, but I can’t, so here goes: Back to the Future: The Musical. Robert Zemeckis is directing, as well as writing the show with Bob Gale (Who co-wrote the film), with composer Alan Silvestri scoring. So, anyone expecting a song about your mother hitting on you?

OK, something less strange. *rummages* Well, the new Doctor’s costume has been unveiled and it’s mighty spiffy. Well, except for the cardigan, but we can’t have everything. As numerous others have pointed out it’s very reminiscent of the Third Doctor Jon Pertwee’s outfit, with Capaldi further adding to that with the post he’s striking. While we’re talking Doctor Who, there’s a fan made Who themed version of Cards Against Humanity called Cards Against Gallifrey and a trailer for the fan made documentary, Who’s Changing?

That’s the most work-safe combination I could find.

Fun Fact: Jon Pertwee was one of the back-ups in-case Sean Connery didn’t want to play Henry Jones Snr in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. As much as I’d love to say I came up with the line ‘Only the penitent man shall reverse the polarity’, it’s not one of mine.

The rumours around the Agent Carter TV show continue to rumble, with new word that the show has a script and producers. In more welcome news, Lady Sif will be appearing in Agents of SHIELD and Batman vs Superman has been pushed back 10 months, with Ant-Man taking it’s release date. Anna Paquin might be back in X-Men: Days of Future Past, Gal Gadot has signed up for three Wonder Woman films, but sadly Stan Lee won’t have a cameo in Guardians of the Galaxy.

Thor 3 has been announced, we have a couple of stills from Tom Hiddleston’s audition for Thor (It’s on the Blu-Ray for the second movie) and has appeared, along with Mark Strong and Ben Kingsley, in a Jaguar car ad that asks Why are all Bad Guys British? Thanks to merchandise we’ve gotten a look at the Guardians of the Galaxy and the new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, as well as a closer look at the Falcon from Captain America: The Winter Soldier.

Yes, it’s kinda creepy, but not as bad as the underwear…

There’s trailers for the straight to DVD movies Justice League Adventures: Trapped in Time and Son of Batman and a look at Necessary Evil, a documentary on the villains of DC Comics and which I’m slightly ashamed to admit I only just found out about. We also have a teaser for the anime styled Avengers Confidential: Black Widow and Punisher (Gee, I wonder who’s in that one…), a TV spot for Amazing Spider-Man 2 and a deleted scene from Thor: The Dark World.

X-Men producer Lauren Shuler Donner wants to make a Gambit movie starring, you’ll want to be sitting down for this part, Channing Tatum. Yeah… I’m not sure where to place that on the scale of bad ideas – it’s somewhere between ‘getting hit in the crotch with a brick’ and ‘invading Russia in winter’, but below ‘Batman and Robin.’

Both the creator and star of the Leprechaun movies (Mark Jones and Warwick Davis) are working on a reboot of the series called Vamprechaun, the live action version of Ghost in the Shell has a director and Vin Diesel has been a busy boy – he’s announced that not only is a new Riddick film in development, but a script for a new XXX film is a month away from completion.

Vin Diesel contemplating another Pacifier movie.

There’s new trailers for Malificent and 300: Rise of an Empire, which might not be a very good film, but they’ve sampled Black Sabbath’s War Pigs, so they’ve done something right. We have another teaser for the TV adaption of From Dusk Till Dawn and new spots for Scarlet Johansson’s Under the Skin and Terry Gilliam’s latest, The Zero Theorem. There’s also trailers for Sinbad: The Fifth Voyage, which boats stop motion animation and a voiceover from Patrick Stewart, and the movie Occulus, which stars Amy Pond and Kara Thrace. (Or Karen Gillan and Katee Sackhoff for the pedantic)

The rumours about Pixar making a Star Wars movie are most likely false, Billy Dee Williams would love to return for Episode 7 and we also have details on a new character from the upcoming Star Wars: Rebels, a cranky astromech droid known as Chopper. *waves $10 note* This goes to the first person to overdub the droid noise with dialogue from Chopper. C’mon, you know you want to do it…

In the ‘Too Good to be True’ category comes word of a rumour that Dame Judi Dench is to play Mon Mothma in the next Star Wars movie. (For what it’s worth, Caroline Blakiston, who played her in Return of the Jedi, is still active.)

You can’t tell me that’s not true – I REFUSE TO DISBELIEVE.

The TV remake of Barbarella is still on the way and some casting news for the Rosemary’s Baby adaption. We’ve a collection of new pictures from season 4 of Game of Thrones and if you were spooked by the announcement of a John Constantine TV show, there’s some god news – the mighty Neil Marshall (Who you may remember from directing such films as Dog Soldiers and Centurion) will be directing the pilot. No, that doesn’t guarantee it’ll be good, but there’s a slightly better chance of it!

The week’s most important news is that Lego are releasing a Ghostbusters set this year and in the week’s least important news, it’s been confirmed that Ian Ziering and Tara Reid will return for Sharknado 2. The movie adaption of Stephen King’s Dark Tower series might be back on and the producer of Transformers: Age of Extinction is insisted the film isn’t a reboot. How about you just make a good movie, can you do that?

We end this week with a gloriously nerdy internet flame war between the Star Wars and Marvel Twitter accounts. People are getting paid to do that, with actual money. Alec Hardison was right – it truly is the age of the geek.

Quote of the Week:

Marty: Wait a minute. Wait a minute Doc, uh, are you telling me you built a time machine… out of a DeLorean?

Doc: The way I see it, if you’re going to build a time machine into a car, why not do it with some style?

Back to the Future

Cheers,

Gavin

Holy Licensing Issues Batman!

Welcome dear readers!

This week (Outside of trying not to melt in the heat) I’ve been re-watching Leverage to prepare for an upcoming game and sorting out my costume for a live action game I’m in. So, basically, I’ll be very dodgy sitting around a table and dodgy dressed up in costume and wielding foam swords. Hey, do I mock your hobbies?

There’s been a fair bit of big news this week, but there’s one story that overshadows them all. It’s something many thought would never happen, but finally, after almost 40 years, Batman 66 is finally getting a home release. The show was long tangled up in rights issues between Fox (Who produced the show) and Warners (Who own DC Comics), with further legal issues over celebrity cameos muddying the waters even more. The news was broken by a tweet from late night host Conan O’Brien and appears to confirm a complete series box set would be released this year, though there’s no word on special features or whether it’ll be on Blu-Ray and DVD.

Hurry Boy Wonder, we have to get to JB Hi Fi in time!

There’s also the trailer for Doomed, the untold story of the Roger Corman Fantastic Four movie. What’s that, you’ve not heard of this? Well, that’s because it was never intended to be released. The film was shot on the cheap as a way of holding onto the rights, with the cast and crew not being told of this at the time. Bootlegs exist of the film, but I’m pretty sure Marvel would like to forget about it, like the two Captain America TV movies made in the 70’s, one of which has Christopher Lee as the villain.

More directors have been linked to a new Masters of the Universe film, the killer in the next Friday the 13th movie might not be Jason Voorhees and Disney are said to be working on a live action musical version of Frozen. We have a list of actors said to be reading for Kyle Reese in the next Terminator film, Sam Neill won’t be in Jurassic World and both Sam Worthington and Zoe Saldana have signed up for 3 sequels to Avatar. Kristen Stewart has signed on to Equals, which (Brace yourself for this part) is described as a romantic version of 1984 and a movie based on the card game (And just behind crack cocaine in it’s addictive properties) Magic: The Gathering is being prepared.

All the power of Grayskull and he still has that haircut…

There’s been some big casting news in the world of comic book movies of late, with the announcement of Michael Douglas as Hank Pym in Ant-Man and German actor Thomas Kretschmann as Baron Von Strucker in Avengers: Age of Ultron. Pym was the original Ant-Man, succeeded in the role by Scott Lang (Who Paul Rudd is presumably playing), while Baron Strucker is one of the heads of Hydra, last seen in Captain America.

Now the really awesome part hasn’t been confirmed, but word is that Jason ‘Khal Drogo’ Momoa was up for a role in Batman vs Superman. The part? Arthur Curry, better known as Aquaman. Momoa has denied any involvement, but a list of things I’d do to see that casting happen would be both A: Very long and B: Would get disturbing fast. There was also talk that Marvel wanted Johnny Depp to play Doctor Strange, but mercifully that was debunked quickly. It’s not that I don’t think Depp can’t act, I just don’t want him in the role.

Who’s laughing now?

There’s a gallery of pictures from Captain America: The Winter Soldier and the mere mention of cloning in the viral marketing for Amazing Spider-Man 2 has made me very nervous. No, I’ve not read the Clone Saga, but I know enough to know it’s a continuity mess that makes the history of the X-Men look calm. Meanwhile, word is that the Justice League film will be shot back to back with Batman vs Superman, which, oddly, makes a lot of sense.

Gotham will feature the origins of many of Batman’s villains and the CW has appeared to have cancelled the young Wonder Woman show Amazon. Boooo! The mighty Bill Paxton (AKA the only man to have been killed by an Alien, Predator and Terminator) will have an upcoming arc in Agents of SHIELD and a pilot for a Constantine TV show has been approved. Can we please get John Simm or Tim Roth for the lead? Pictures of Doctor Who filming have Peter Capaldi riding a horse while in his panamas and did you know that Steven Moffat wanted a shout out to Peter Cushing’s Doctor in the 50^th Anniversary special?

Just forget this, except for Tilda Swinton. Don’t forget her.

Anna Silk has revealed that George Takei will be appearing in the next season of Lost Girl and the next season of American Horror Story will take place in 1950, with the only other clue that Jessica Lange has been ‘brushing up on her German.’ The first trailer for season 4 of Game of Thrones was released this week and it can’t come soon enough for my taste. We also have the first clips from Knights of Badassdom, I, Frankenstein and Robocop, the first teasers for the TV shows Outlander and From Dusk Till Dawn and a fresh teaser for Penny Dreadful. Lastly, there’s a clip from the new Marvel one-shot All Hail the King. If you’ve not seen Iron Man 3 yet, the spoiler warning still applies.

We have some plot details for Star Wars Episode 7, as well some details of a now scrapped script. Actor Peter Mayhew (AKA Chewbacca) has uploaded a stack of pictures from the classic trilogy and there’s a new publicity shot for Star Wars: Rebels that looks very close to that last one we got. We also have a somewhat disturbing storyline intended for the non-canon Star Wars Infinities that would have seen Leia fall to the Dark Side and well, we won’t say any more.

Yeeeee-haaaaaaa!

Gillian ‘Dana Scully’ Anderson is co-writing a sci-fi book series, a new female Transformer has been announced and we’ve a gallery of Game of Thrones based propaganda posters. Lastly, we have an awesome young Doctor Who fan, who decided to dress up as all 11 Doctors. I don’t care what the commenters say, I choose to believe that he did all that with no help from an adult. Why? Causeit’s more awesome that way and I want a world with more awesome in it.

Quote of the Week:

Dyson: Hey. Did you guys get anything yet?
Bo: A lecture from the vice principal and 27 invitations to the dance. One delivered in soliloquy.
Kenzi: How nice!
Bo: You?
Dyson: A fist bump. Kenz, you?
Kenzi: Well I was attacked by rabid Muffys, manhandled by Coach ‘Bitchy Butch’ and I got detention.
Bo: We are not getting far are we?
Kenzi: Teen angst. Our greatest foe.

Lost Girl – School’s Out

Cheers,

Gavin