I’ve had… some ideas.

Yes, I’m going to talk about some terrible game ideas I’ve had of late. But before I do, a rundown on recent events!

Blacktown Medieval Fayre is over for another year, and as usual I ache and my social batteries are tapped out. It’s a lovely weekend of playing with and talking about swords, which always brings joy. Almost as much joy as I saw on the faces of small children when handed a sword for the first time. It’s a beautiful and terrifying expression, with any concern of mine soon outweighed by knowing that they aren’t related to me, and thus not my problem. I’ve had numerous people ask to take my photo, and that continues to be weird to me. It’s possible that shots of me may turn up on the feeds of random folks and I don’t know how I feel about that. If you do, please let me know, as my wife will be happy and I’ll look at my facial expression and be horrified. I think a part of it was the hat, though I did have one guy make a gesture resembling my beard and raise his camera. I’m flattered, but I saw some beards there that I was in genuine awe of. Stocatta continue to be a bloody lovely group of sword nerds, and the camaraderie and inclusiveness is a big part of why I love the club so much. Plus, the whole playing with swords thing. It’s far more fun than a gym, and I get to learn how to kill people at the same time!

The event’s the same as always – the food queues are giant, even during the jousting, and more toilets would be very appreciated. The demonstration area being on a hill is less than ideal, but there’s only so much flat ground available. On that note, I don’t seem to have any bruises from the demo fights, though I copped a few beauties to the chest this afternoon. The venue being spread out is one of my favourite things about Winterfest, so things don’t get quite so jam packed. Well, except for the food queues, but there’s only so much you can do. I didn’t hear the MC make any comments along the lines of “The bars now open, so you can get shitfaced!” as I heard a previous event and the event playlist was slightly improved by having more than three songs, though it’ll still be months before I want to hear the themes to Pirates of the Caribbean and Game of Thrones or Knights of the Round Table again. Surely they can find some more music? As for the variety, while it’s always a delight to hear Iron Maiden’s The Trooper, hearing it played during the jousting did make me think “Well, it’s a little out of time period.” I get picky about the strangest things.

As for other attendees, there were more Furries than Plague Doctors this year. I only saw the one Joker, and the group of white guys dressed as Knights Templar gave me the same feeling I get when I see a Southern Cross tattoo – they might not be jerks, but they’ll have to prove that. There were folks who’d put vast amounts of time and expertise into their garb alongside the casuals in polyester costumes. The highlight for me was a chap walking round with a Dread Pirate Kermit puppet, and not only did he do a decent vocal impression, he’d gone to the trouble of getting the sword correct. It’s the little touches. I was shocked that I didn’t spend anywhere near as much as I’d feared, mostly helped by A: There being no LARP weapons I’d wanted to buy and B: Holding fire on buying other random things. I didn’t think I needed to buy a winged phallus pendant, as tempted as I was, but I did buy a pilgrim’s badge of a flying pig and a forged iron D6 from that vendor so it’s not as if I was completely depriving myself.

The Dread Pirate Kermit!

What else has been happening? My game has been accepted for Pheno this year, and despite the fact I’ve never had a game knocked back, I continue to stress about it. The acceptance also means I’m going to have to spend the next few months reading, watching and writing about pirates, and yes, my first thought is ‘Business as usual then eh?’ It’s another serious freeform, and yes, I’m planning to costume for this one as well. Oh no, I’ll have to buy a tricorn, the horror… Lost Settlers continues to get ever closer, and I try not to panic while waiting for the cloak I ordered to ship. Yes, I have basically everything sorted costume wise aside from the cloak, but I’m still looking for more flair. I may have just realised I haven’t had any combat practise with the axe I bought for the event, but I’m sure I can put some time aside for that, short of walking round the house twirling it. Outside that, transport has been booked, character connections should start happening soon and I’m trying to restrain ideas for backup characters, as I want to do my best to survive the event with my initial character. Speaking of cloaks, Eldest Niece turned 18 recently and given how depressingly sensible her birthday gift list was (Mostly stuff she needs for Uni, and I can’t blame her for that), I bought her a cloak. We also got her something from the list, we weren’t jerks, but once I latched onto the idea, and got approval from my wife, there was no stopping me. She approved of it after opening the parcel, though she thought it would be a towel, based on the note that accompanied it. The note that clearly stated ‘this is not a towel’ part way through. Would I bullshit about something so important?

Retail continues to be equal parts lovely and nightmare fuel. Case in point: the small child who took great delight in racing round the store, only to pause to look at me from wherever he was, and in a tone of voice I describe as half hiss, half whisper, announce “I see you…” I know I’ve joked about keeping a LARP weapon behind the counter in case of unruly customers, but in this case I’m glad I didn’t, as the fight or flight response may have kicked in. Trying not to show fear was all I could do, outside of distracting myself by talking with his father. To his credit, the kid was polite in complimenting my beard, and said thank you when I gave some loose Pokemon cards, but still. It was bad enough when he called out from the top of the stairs, but the sheer Empty Child nightmare fuel of seeing him looking at me through the shelves and whispering “I see you…” *shudders*

As for the game ideas, I have 3 to talk through.
1: While talking with my wife recently, I was reminded of an internet joke about Michael Collins telling Neil Armstrong before the moon landing “If you had any balls, you’d say “Oh my god, what is that thing?“, scream and cut your mic.” For reasons unknown, the next thing in my head was “Well, that would put a new spin on The Dish, wouldn’t it?” So, the game is as follows: You are the crew of the Parkes radio telescope, it’s the most important day of your lives and you’ve just heard Neil Armstrong scream and the video feed cut out. I have no idea what happens next, which means this will likely stay as an amusing idea, but given the reactions I’ve had from some of the people I’ve told there’s potential in it. Also, I love the idea of actual aliens descending at the end of the game, but different ones each session. It could be the Centauri, the Vulcans, maybe the Yip-Yip Martians. Who knows?

2: Minions. No, not those ones. Times are tough, and you needed work, so when a new mega-corp was hiring, you jumped at the chance. Good pay, dental and 4 weeks holiday time per year, you hadn’t seen those benefits anywhere. It wasn’t until the employee evaluation polygraph tests began that you realised you may be working for an international criminal organisation (Think Cobra or SPECTRE). Sure, the job has it’s downsides – the bosses are feuding amongst themselves, R&D is led by a madman who’s devices regularly explosively backfire and people who visit HR just don’t act the same after they emerge, but the pros outweigh the cons. Mostly. Also, Brad from Legal is a petty bitch who never refills the break rom coffee pot, but as he keeps hinting his brother’s a high-ranking company ninja assassin, you’re wary of making a formal complaint. And that’s without the constant military attacks from a bunch of costumed do-gooders who keep screaming about freedom…

Essentially, it’s a workplace comedy, but with a dash of Paranoia and starring the bad guys. It was almost certainly inspired by a recent burst of GI Joe cartoons YouTube was recommending me.

3: This one’s simple: Take the basic plot of The Boys from Brazil, but instead of Hitler it’s clones of Silvio Berlusconi. This one’s entirely the fault of The Bugle podcast.

That’s enough for now, as I should sleep and not stress about Lost Settlers. Be glad you haven’t heard me trying a Scottish accent for it.