Short Reviews

Hercules – I wouldn’t call it a good film, more an 80’s sword and sandal film with a special effects budget. In it’s favour, The Rock is consistently entertaining (Even when wearing an incredibly camp lion skin cloak) and Ian McShane (Who also narrates the film) is in full scenery chewing mode.

Lock Out – It’s bascially Escape from New York/LA but in space and so close to it that John Carpenter took legal action and won. Guy Pearce does seem to having a tremendous amount of fun though.

Solomon Kane – Why must people persist with origin stories? Can an audience not be trusted to understand a character without spending half the film on introducing them? In it’s favour, it’s about a good a Kane film as we could expect, with James Purefoy in excellent form and the late, great Pete Postlethwaite supporting. Still a shame the sequel didn’t get up. Wonderfully grim in the mould of Warhammer Fantasy Role Play and if anyone calls it a Van Helsing knock off, you have my persmission to smack them.

The Scorpion King 3 – It features a lead actor I thought was Billy Zane, the actual Billy Zane (Who appears more than half cut), Temuera Morrison and Ron Perlman in a mullet/Legolas wig. There’s also elephants, some genuinely terrible fight scenes, a Celt in ancient Egypt and ninjas. Yep. Ninjas. Hadn’t realised there were 3 Scorpion King films? Actually, there’s 4…


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