There’s no time for intros this week, no news from what I’ve been doing and no bad jokes. It’s STRAIGHT TO THE NEWS this week. Because something amazing was announced, something that can restore my faith in humanity, or, quite possibly destroy it. What has happened? The return of the world’s greatest secret agent, that’s what! Why is this mysterious figure? James Bond? Nope. Ethan Hunt? Oh please. Jason Bourne? Pish-tosh pa-shaw!
He’s fantastic, he’s amazing and wherever there is danger he’ll be there. That’s right, the one and only Danger Mouse is returning!
The legendary crime fighter and his sidekick Penfold are returning to the screen, with the announcement of 52 11 minute episodes to air next year. There’s no word on the voice cast, but Stephen Fry is the bookies favourite. (You know, David Jason is still around and working.) Wait a second, people can bet on this? ARE YOU FUCKING INSANE? Right, back on topic… As happy as this news has made me, and that is incredibly happy, the news that the show will be updated, with the post office box headquarters and even DM’s eye-patch (Which the Guardian called an i-patch) kitted out with all sorts of new technology makes me very nervous. So long as they keep a minimum amount of awful puns and fourth wall breaking in the show, I’ll be happy. It’s more Danger Mouse and that cannot be a bad thing.
Take this, add the Goodies and the Young Ones and you’ve got my sense of humour.
We’ve a UK trailer for Guardians of the Galaxy, what is apparently the final one for Dawn of the Planet of the Apes and a fresh teaser for Gotham which looks at the villains of the show. There’s also a trailer for the documentary Video Games: The Movie, which, surprise surprise, looks at the history of video games. Yes, Zach Braff is the executive producer, but don’t hold that against them – Wil Wheaton is involved and Sean Astin is narrating.
Early details about the villains of Ant-Man have emerged, Mark Ruffalo has said that a Hulk movie might be back on and Scott Derrickson (Who’s writing Doctor Strange), will be writing the Outer Limits film. Paul WS Anderson has said the next Resident Evil film will be the last (Hands up if you believe that? No. Didn’t think so) and a reboot of Scooby Doo is in the works. THIS IS WHY WE CAN’T HAVE NICE THINGS.
I’ve not been able to find confirmation for the rumour that Jason Momoa will be playing Aquaman in Batman vs Superman (And Momoa has denied it when asked), but it sure sounds good. Sources say it’ll be a small appearance leading into a larger role in Justice League, which sounds oddly plausible. I think it’s a pretty good choice, but my favourite version of the character is still the one from The Brave and the Bold. Mind you, if they cast Momoa to play it in that direction, that would be amazing. Reports also state that a Batman solo film is set for 2019, but given DC’s scheduling and ability (Or lack of…) to make films that aren’t about Batman or Superman, who the hell knows what’ll happen?
Go on, call him useless. I dare you.
Seth Green is joining the voice cast of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles cartoon, replacing Jason Biggs as the voice of Leonardo, rumours are spreading about a returning villain in the next series of Doctor Who and wonderfully, there’s to be a sequel to Peter Davison’s anniversary celebration The Five Doctors… ish. It was confirmed by Eighth Doctor Paul McGann, who cryptically said as it involved multiple Time Lords, it could be filming next week, the distant future of 1822 for all we know!
Turning to gaming news now, a new edition of horror RPG Chill has been announced, the X-Wing miniatures game will soon have Dash Rendar’s Outrider and the VT-49 Decimator gunship available and there’s pictures of an Aliens board game based on a never released cartoon series. If you’ve ever wondered what the monsters in Dungeons and Dragons games do for recreation, then the web-series Cubicles and Careers should answer that.
Looking at sequels, we have the first tiny tease of the dinosaurs of Jurassic World, Ron Perlman still wants to make Hellboy 3 and no, Max Landis isn’t involved in Ghostbusters 3, but he had a cracking idea for it. Also, release dates for the next Transformers, Star Trek and GI-Joe films have been announced. There’s no word if Michael Bay will be directing Transformers 5, as he previously said he was finished after directing Dark of the Moon, but wound up directed Age of Extinction, which it’s been confirmed will be an arse numbing and bladder expanding 166 minutes long.
Kittens make everything better. Though you’d need a lot to fix Transformers 2.
We haven’t had any Star Wars news, outside of reports about how injured Harrison Ford was on set, and the announcement of the documentary The People vs George Lucas 2. It’ll look at the sale of Lucasfilm to Disney and is set to be released around the time of Episode 7. There’s a picture of Gendy Tartakovsky’s Popeye, Will Smith’s loss is Jared Leto’s gain, with Leto taking the lead in Brilliance after Smith dropped out and the Shredder’s armour from the live action Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles film looks suitably Michael Bay. By which we ,mean utterly impractical and incredibly over the top. I have an immense amount of sympathy for the poor stunt people who had to fear and fight in that get-up.
Heroes Reborn has signed up it’s first original cast member, with Jack Coleman reprising the role of the guy in the glasses. Yes, I’m sure he had an actual name, but that would have meant paying attention to the show, so yeah…. Moving on, the last episode of Game of Thrones series 4 has broken it’s own record for most pirated show, there’s casting news for the SyFy series Z-Nation and the next season of Ultimate Spider-Man will have ALL THE SPIDER-MEN. Yes, including Miles Morales and Spider-Ham.
There’s a beautiful Viking-esque rendition of Toothless from How to Train your Dragon, a movie adaption of video game Dead Rising is being planned, as is a movie of James Wan’s comic series Malignant Man. There’s apparently trouble on the film adaption of Into the Woods with songs being cut, Alan Ball is working on a True Blood musical and Quentin Tarantino is working on a comic series where Django meets Zorro.
WARNING: CUTENESS OVERLOAD.
We leave you this week with news that the Tomb of Dracula may have been found, fencer Guy Windsor has been analysing the fencing references in The Princess Bride and a man wearing a suit covered with Mentos falling into a tub of Diet Coke. Science is wonderful isn’t it?
Quote of the Week:
Danger Mouse: [Looking at sign on door that reads C.H.M.F.F.G.] Look, Penfold… look what it says on that door.
Penfold: Oh, yes…”Chi-muff-guh”.
DM: “Chi-mu–” No, Penfold, it stands for ‘Car Holding Magnetic Force Field Generator’.
Penfold: ‘Cor…how’d you figure that?
DM: Mm. [confidentially] I read the script.
Penfold: Ooh, naughty Danger Mouse!
Danger Mouse – Journey to the Earth’s Cor!