“They drew first blood, not me.”

(A Nerf War scenario loosely inspired by Carl Purcell. Blame him for this)

A lone PATRIOTIC AMERICAN, who just wants to be left alone, has been pushed beyond his limits by a bunch of REDNECK COPS (Including a young Horatio *sunglasses* Caine) and escaped into the woods. The police are now searching for him in increasing numbers.All he wants is to be left alone, but they kept pushing. NOTHING IS OVER.Because YOU JUST DON’T TURN IT OFF!
OUR HERO starts at one end of the map, equipped only with a LARGE AND MANLY KNIFE, a total lack of sleeves and an occasionally understandable accent. The REDNECK COPS start at the corners of the other side and carry a series of Nerf blasters and ammunition. OUR HERO has to escape, the COPS have to take him down. What they don’t know is, he’s about to give them A WAR THEY WON’T BELIEVE!
OUR HERO’S job is to evade or incapacitate the COPS, making to the exit point on the other side of the map. He can take 5 hits from Nerf darts before being taken out, representing his natural AMERICAN SUPERIORITY. He can heal those only with a suitably ABSURD GESTURE, such as pretending to heat a knife to cauterize a wound, but with an especially loud and painful sounding yell. That should take at least 30 seconds in preparation and at least 10 seconds of shouting. The COPS can take 2 hits each and can assist each other in healing (Pretending to wrap bandages around each others wounds etc), which takes 30 seconds.
OUR HERO can also prepare traps (pool noodle punji sticks,hidden bubble wrap representing pit traps etc) from supplies left around the map. To extend the scenario, the COPS can respawn back in their deployment zone while there’s an arms cache left somewhere on the map for OUR HERO to loot (Representing the local gun store). NOTE: You can’t shoot the gun store owner. Just saying.

Should OUR HERO escape, he is ready to embark on a series of increasingly silly and over the top sequels, culminating in him helping create a terrorist group (Awkward…). The COPS are doomed to a future in police procedural TV shows and internet memes.

“Execute Order 66.”

So, I had an idea at the pub recently: Order 66: The LARP. There was a couple of chuckles and then we moved on with other terrible ideas. But the thing is, like a lot of my terrible ideas, I’ve been thinking about this one more and there’s potential. So, this is less a LARP and more a collection of Nerf war scenario ideas.

I’m still pondering how to represent Jedi abilities – there’s LARP weapons that can represent lightsabers, though I imagine most players aren’t as skilled in swatting Nerf darts out of the air. A vocal call and motion could represent Force Push and a ‘take a knee and chant for 10 seconds’ could make for healing. Jedi start with a bunch of hit points, say, 5 while clones have 2. The clones have the advantage though, in that they re-spawn at their entrance point to the scenarios. Blasters carried by clones do 1 point of damage per hit, Jedi lightsabers do 2. Anakin Skywalker one shot’s everything, the angsty prat. If you see him coming towards you, call him ‘Annie’ and then run.



FORCES: Clones, Jedi, Separatist Droids

The Jedi and Clone forces are engaged in battle against the Separatists. What they don’t know, is that the Chancellor is about to issue the order that will all but destroy them.

Both sides (Jedi/Clones and the Separatists) start at either side of the map. At a random point during the scenario (Decided by the GM), the clones will receive Order 66. How they choose to execute the order is up to them – they could lead the Jedi into a trap, attempt to bring them in a storm of fire or a more… cunning… plan. The Jedi have to survive to escape, the Clones have to bring them all down. (This also requires the Jedi players not to be metagaming dicks and work with the clones until the moment of betrayal.)



FORCES: Clones, Jedi, Separatist droids.

In the wake of the Jedi Council’s attempt to arrest Chancellor Palpatine, Order 66 was issued to clone commanders across the galaxy. The Order was simple – destroy all the Jedi…

The Jedi start out in a central area, with the clones and Separatists starting at either edge. The clones have several respawn points scattered throughout the map – if tagged by the Jedi they can return there, count to 10 and re-enter the battle. The scenario is over when either the surviving Jedi make it to the exit point (The Separatist deployment zone), or all the Jedi are killed.



Anakin Skywalker, the newly christened Darth Vader, leads the 501st Legion against the Jedi Temple.

FORCES: Jedi, Clones, angsty twat with a lightsaber, *cough* Anakin Skywalker.

The Jedi are massively outnumbered and outgunned, with mainly Padawans and older Jedi left in the temple. Some are trying to preserve their heritage/secret files and escape the slaughter, while others have been sent to retrofit the Temple signal beacon to warn others away (Yes, I know Yoda and Obi-Wan did that in the movie – work with me here)

The clones enter the map at one point (The entrance to the temple) and have to destroy all the Jedi. The Jedi have to A: survive, B: reprogram the beacon and C: escape with Jedi holobooks. The Jedi start in the central hall (Near the entrance).

The beacon is on one corner of the map, the Jedi archive in the other. The beacon reprogramming will take fiddling with the machine (Represented by some sort of prop) for 1 minute. The holobooks are in the Temple archives and are represented by a prop that takes one hand to carry.


Remember Sully, when I promised to kill you last? I lied.

A Nerf War scenario heavily inspired by the film Commando and the new Nerf Doomlands range written on my train trip to work this morning.

There is 1 player per run: OUR HERO. They are absurdly muscled, ALL-AMERICAN (Though frequently with foreign accents) and carry a vast amount of weapons and ammunition, possibly aided by strategic ammo drops throughout the play area. They are hunting down the BAD GUY, who carries a rifle or shotgun, and possibly a backup pistol if they’re a SNEAKY EVIL FOREIGNER, as they should be. They may also have a mustache to twirl or an outrageously offensive/inappropriate accent. They command a large force of GOONS, who carry 1 main weapon and whose job is to hurl themselves at OUR HERO and die as spectacularly as possible. The BAD GUY may also have a HEAD GOON, who carries a SIGNATURE WEAPON that deals double damage to OUR HERO.

Arnold-S-CommandoOUR HERO is all but invincible – weapon hits from goons will slow him down (Take a knee for 5 seconds, or be forced to take cover), but only hits from the BAD GUY or the HEAD GOON will actually hurt him. Both OUR HERO and the BAD GUY can take 3 hits, the HEAD GOON can take 2. GOONS can only take one hit, but can return to the battle after going to a re-spawn point.

g33uCfJOUR HERO is out for vengeance against the BAD GUY for an inexplicable reason or to rescue the PLUCKY SIDEKICK. The sidekick starts out in the BAD GUY lair and has just escaped. They may scavenge for weapons and ammo, or carry a single shot weapon with no more than 6 darts.

OUR HERO starts at one end of the play area, the BAD GUY, his HEAD GOON, GOONS and the PLUCKY SIDEKICK the other end of the area. RE-SPAWN POINTS for GOONS are marked on the map, there should be at least 1 on either side of the map. OUR HERO may choose from the range of weapons at the starting point, choosing what approach they are taking to the scenario. They may move through quietly as a PREDATOR or rain down RED HEAT on their foes like some sort of TERMINATOR. Either way, an arming montage is mandatory.

COMMANDO SCREEN SHOTEach run last for 10 minutes, or until OUR HERO either A: kills the BAD GUY or B: rescues the PLUCKY SIDEKICK and escapes back to the starting point, thus preserving the BAD GUY for the inevitable sequel.

OUR HERO is identified by a red headband (RED IS AMERICAN AND NOT AT ALL COMMUNIST) and the PLUCKY SIDEKICK by a white armband. The BAD GUY wears a distinctive item of clothing, the HEAD GOON a black armband, and the GOONS wear green armbands.

So. needs work, but not bad for a train trip. Thoughts?