Hey all,

I’d like to say this week has been consumed with panic over my re-entering the workforce next week, or looking forward to the friends weddings I have on this weekend and next , but mostly it’s been re-watching this clip of gardening with Patrick Stewart. By the way, if anyone can identify where that came from, please?

First off, there was a lot of panic about the news that Studio Ghibli closing, but it turns out it’s just taking ‘a brief pause.’ So, no need to panic folks, just take a little time to get a more accurate translation or re-read an article before you panic and start posting about it. Actually, that’s a sensible rule for everyday life.

Sony are said to be planning a female-led Spider-Man spin off and Bridesmaids director Pail Feig has been linked with an all-female Ghostbusters reboot. Now, I’m not much of a fan of remakes, but if they’re going to happen I’d rather they be different from the original. Think of it this way – you might not want to see a Ghostbusters reboot starring Tina Fey, Amy Pohler, Melissa McCarthy and Yvette Nicole Brown, but I’m pretty damn sure you’d prefer it to one starring Adam Sandler, Rob Schneider, David Spade and Eddie Murphy (in a fat suit). And if you do want that film, well, we might not have much to talk about in the future…

Best drink it quick before Slimer get’s to it…

DC blinked this week, with the announcement that the release date of Batman vs Superman has been shifted to avoid competition with Captain America 3. They’ve also announced 9 more DC movie release dates, with two of those called ‘Untitled WB Event Film’ which could mean the Harry Potter spin off films.  It’s expected the films will include Sandman, Justice League and Wonder Woman movies, but at this early stage your guess is as good as ours. Despite being horribly behind compared to Marvel, there’s still the chance they could get a female led movie up first. Yes, I’m aware of Catwoman and Elektra, but we ignore those for two reasons. 1: they aren’t part of the current cinematic universes and 2: they were fucking terrible.

In a lovely piece of news, Bill Mantlo, creator of Rocket Raccoon, got a private screening of Guardians of the Galaxy. Mantlo (who was severely injured in a traffic accident) Meanwhile, director Peyton Reed has confirmed another female character in Ant-Man, Young Justice will return as part of a crossover with Teen Titans Go! Both Fantastic Four and Avengers: Age of Ultron have wrapped primary shooting, writer Nicole Perlman isn’t working on a Black Widow movie, though she did write a treatment in 2011, but an extended cut of  X-Men: Days of Future Past is coming next year. The planned Spider-Man spin off will now be titled Venom Carnage (Which is a stupid title if you ask me, not that anyone has) and the blooper reel and a pair of deleted scenes from Captain America: The Winter Soldier have been released.

The ABC has announced they’ll simulcast the first episode of Doctor Who and producer Steven Moffat has promised more online content for the show. Meanwhile, BRIAN BLESSED!! revealed that he turned down the role of the Doctor when offered it in the late 60’s. It’s difficult to know how accurate this is, with versions of the story staying he was offered the role after either William Hartnell or Patrick Troughton left the role. Either way, the mere thought of Blessed wearing a vevet smoking jacket and doing Venusian Akido is enough to make the world just that little bit better. And LOUDER!

Reverse the polarity of the neutron DIIIIIIIIVVVVEEEEE!

There’s acouple of pictures of Matt Murdock from the set of Daredevil,  Disney have ordered more episodes of Avengers Assemble and Hulk and the Agents of SMASH and IDW creating both TV and comic adaptions of the Douglas Adams series Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency. Some concept art from Bryan Singer’s planned version of Battlestar Galactica has surfaced and the SyFy channel are adapting John Scalzi’s Old Man’s War as a series.

The extended cut of The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug will add 25 minutes to it’s already dangerously overlong running time, the reboot of The Mummy has been confirmed for 2016, Pride and Prejudice and Zombies is set to shoot next month and Dead Island is set to join the long and inglorious list of video games turned into films. Sooner or later one of them has to be good, right? Right?

In news that I probably should be happier about, J Michael Straczynski has announced he’s working on a script for a Babylon 5 film, one that he’s hoping to have finished by the end of the year.  Given the deal with Warners over Babylon 5, they own the film rights, with several attempts to get a film made over the years, the last being in 2004. As much as I love that series (And I do – I made my girlfriend, who’s now my wife, watch it all while we were dating and there was a reading from it at my wedding), I’m extremely wary of any more. It was a combination of the writing and the cast (Several of whom are no longer with us) that made that show what it was, and I’m not sure that can be recaptured. Yes, a reboot won’t spoil the original, but I want this to be good so much I don’t think it possibly could be. Still, with JMS at the helm, there’s hope. And, I think I’ve found a subject for another series of articles…

It was the dawn of the Third Age of mankind…

The Ninja Turtles reboot has been in the news, with an Australian only poster for the film showing our heroes jumping from a burning building. That may not mean much but with the release date of the film being September 11, well, that’s just a little awkward… Megan Fox had some rather strong words for critics of the film and no less a musical authority that Vanilla Ice has put his two cents in, claiming the new movies theme song ‘lacks the magic’ that represents a ‘true ninja.’ If you’ll excuse me, I’m just going outside to laugh – I may be some time…

We have the first look at Nicholas Cage in Left Behind, a new teaser for Constantine and the first 7 minutes of Star Wars: Rebels, which looks promising. There’s also more footage from Comic Con, with the Geek and Sundry highlight reel along with footage from the Assassin’s Creed and Walking Dead themed obstacle courses captured by users wearing Google Glass, which finally means there’s a practical use for that hipster monstrosity of a facial accessory.

It was thought to be a typo, but the title of the next Terminator film is… wait for it… Terminator: Genisys. Arnold will be kept busy, with The Legend of Conan hoping to start shooting next year. I still hold out hope that we’ll see a version of Conan on screen that matches the version in Robert E Howard’s stories. It’s a fool’s hope, but one I hold on to.

Harsh, but true.

Disney are said to be building a Star Wars themed park while the team responsible for keeping track of the Expanded Universe have redefined the timeline, basing things now on Phantom Menace, rather than setting year Zero at the destruction of the Death Star in A New Hope. I’m not sure why they felt the need to mess with a timeline that’s been working nicely since the formation of the EU, I guess to remind everyone the prequels exist? Maybe it’s a Vader thing. Still, I was interested to see the timeline of The Clone Wars series laid out – trying to keep track of where the episodes were supposed to have occurred was driving me spare.

New cast members have been announced for Agents of SHIELD, Arrow and Westworld, while the pay dispute that threatened to delay The Big Bang Theory has averted, with Jim Parsons, Johnny Galecki and Kaley Cuoco reportedly now to earn about 1 million US per episode of the show, with the deal set to go far beyond per episode fees. Melissa Rauch and Mayim Bialik have already signed deals, with Simon Helberg and Kunal Nayyar signing close to deadline. 22 minutes for a million dollars – that’s a hell of a thing…

We leave you this week with Ray Park showing a youngster dressed as Robin how to use a staff. It’s kind of sweet seeing apprentices sharking knowledge. Sure, it’s the apprentice to the Dark Lord of the Sith sharing said knowledge with the World’s Greatest Detective’s young ward, but it’s still sweet.

Quote of the Week:

(G’Kar and Na’Kal are sitting down to dinner)

Na’Kal: Breen! You’ve managed to import breen from Homeworld! How?

G’Kar: It, uh…isn’t actually breen.

Na’Kal: The smell, the taste—!

G’Kar: It’s an Earth food. They are called Swedish meatballs. It’s a strange thing, but every sentient race has its own version of these Swedish meatballs! I suspect it’s one of those great universal mysteries which will either never be explained, or which would drive you mad if you ever learned the truth…

Babylon 5 – Walkabout

Cheers,

Gavin

We begin this week’s instalment with some unexpected news: Deadpool was arrested Friday morning on a Sydney train. Yes alright, it was actually a guy dressed as Deadpool trying to raise money for charity, but who the hell thinks getting on a peak hour train covered in weapons is a good idea? Well, apart from Deadpool…

In better news, JJ Abrams released another video promoting Star Wars: Force for Change, but all eyes were on what he was standing in front of – an X-Wing starfighter.  Naturally, the internet took to picking at it, querying if it was a Z-95 interceptor (The forerunner to the X-Wing), but it’s been officially confirmed. I might have started shaking with joy, pointed excitedly at the screen and babbled incoherently in shock at the sight of it, but who wouldn’t?

 And May the Force be with Y’all!

We also some new footage from Star Wars: Rebels – an extended version of the first trailer, one titled A Look Ahead, which is mostly new footage and features a couple of familiar faces along with a new clip that aired during the Comic Con panel. Pretty snazzy looking show, but I still miss Clone Wars. Marvel will be releasing a Princess Leia comic series and Mark Hamill (Who was at the UK premiere of Guardians) is currently sporting an awesome Jedi Master beard. Beards are good.

This weekend is San Diego Comic Con, which promises all manner of awesome goodies. Ben Affleck’s Bat-Cowl is on display and a new picture of him wearing it has been released. I can’t speak for the rest of the outfit, or his performance for that matter, but that’s a mighty Bat-Chin. Oberyn Martell has been busy pouring beers, there’s the first look at Tracey Island from the new series Thunderbirds are Go and in Verse-shattering news, the original cast of Firefly are reuniting for the online game, with Alan Tudyk voicing multiple roles and Michael Fairman playing Niska. Yes, we we’re doing the ‘Please don’t suck’ dance as you read this and No, you can’t have footage of it.

 Yes, that is George RR Martin.

Guillermo Del Toro has a presence, with the interactive game Pacific Rim: Jaeger Pilot and a display of props from his new film Crimson Peak,  Christopher Nolan and Matthew McConaughey showed a new trailer for Interstellar and jack Black popped up to show off the first footage from Goosebumps.

There’s a couple of Avengers: Age of Ultron concept posters, the first trailer for Lego Batman 3: Beyond Gotham is out and a never shot episode of Batman ’66 is to be adapted in the comic series. The episode itself was by writer and legendary cranky pants Harlan Ellison and is said to introduce Two-Face to the series, with rumours saying the producers wanted Clint Eastwood for the role back in the day. We also have the first look at the Blu-Ray box set of the TV show (Due for release in November) and it’s a thing of wonder and glory. And, it comes with  toy Bat-Mobile!

If anyone has footage of that, I’ll make it worth your while…

There’s the first teaser for Halo: Nightfall, several new TV series have been announced, the cast and crew of Community have been talking about their resurrection (And giving away free Subway sandwiches) while Benedict Cumberbatch has been trolling people who ask him about Doctor Strange. *whew* All that? That’s just from the first day. Stay tuned next week for even more! Now, we get to all the other news that’s been released this week.

Marvel has announced the release dates for five unnamed films, which has speculators going nuts. It’s expected that one will be Doctor Strange, but all we know so far is that their plan is to release one sequel and one new film per year. (I’m hoping for Squirrel Girl myself) Marvel also announced a third mystery film, set to be released in the slot vacated by Amazing Spider-Man 3, which has been pushed back to 2018, with Sinister Six now set to be released in 2016. Note, despite some rumours, this doesn’t mean it’s a reboot, as some may have suggested, just the last Spidey film only made $700 million, which means of course it was a giant flop. I’ll never understand Hollywood.

It’s been confirmed that Arrow and the Justice League movie won’t be crossing over, though Arrow and The Flash have a crossover episode coming. Two new villains have also been announced for Flash, with Wentworth Miller playing Captain Cold, along with the character Plastique, though we don’t know who’s playing her. We also have the first look at Arrow’s Roy Harper in his new Arsenal costume and it looks good, but why all the laces?

I enjoy the show, but really, that’s what I’m watching for.

Robert Downey Jr might be up for Iron Man 4, the first poster for Ant-Man has been revealed  and Simon Kinberg is trying to unravel story of the new Fantastic Four movie. Lucy Lawless has joined Agents of SHIELD in an unknown role, while Gotham has announced that Hugo Strange and Harvey Dent will both be appearing (Both roles are uncast at the time of writing) and Dwayne Johnson keeps dropping hints that he’s playing Shazam.

More pictures from Mad Max: Fury Road have emerged, a new adaption of the Arabian Nights tales is on the way and I for one am hoping that this version will have some actual Arabians in it! (Prince of Persia, I’m looking at you…) The long awaited film of Uncharted will be released in June 2016, with it set to start filming early next year. We’ve the first poster for The Hobbit: Battle of Five Armies, the fifth Pirates film is set to be released in July 2017, the first picture from ‘video gamers must save the world’ film Pixels has been released, with Peter Dinklage’s mullet the star. Hopefully it’ll be fun, but as it contains Adam Sandler, I won’t be seeing it.

Just cast Nathan Fillion or Joe Flanigan, please?

In big TV news, Microsoft closed Xbox Entertainment, which means projects such as the planned reboot of Blake’s 7 are now cancelled. That could be a good thing though – there’s a few shows that should never be rebooted (Red Dwarf, Babylon 5) and Blake’s is one of them. Sadly this also means the planned Deadlands series is gone – I was really looking forward to that. Moving on, Orphan Black is getting a tie-on comic series, Anthony Hopkins has signed on to HBO’s Westworld, and the 200^th episode of Supernatural will be a musical. Joseph Fiennes will be playing the title role in Nostradamus, there’s some casting news for the upcoming SyFy series Killjoys and fear not fans, Legend of Korra hasn’t been cancelled, it’s just moving online. It’s expected more news will be released at Comic Con – watch this space!

From the ‘You’re joking, right?’ department comes word that Will Ferrel will be producing a film version of Manimal, the short lived early 80’s show about a man who fights crime using the power to transform into different animals. It’s hopefully third time lucky for Painkiller Jane, with another attempt at bringing the character to the screen, following a TV movie and a short-lived SyFy series, Roberto Orci has told Power Rangers fans not to worry  and that he won’t ruin their franchise. There’s the first look at Neil Blomkamp‘s next film, Chappie, Vin Diesel has confirmed both a third XXX film and the long awaited Kojak movie and in really bad news, Tremors is getting a reboot.

Almost every time I’ve worn a kilt, someone has tried that.

Neil Gaiman’s Fragile Things is becoming an off Broadway play, there’s the first look at Elsa in Once Upon a Time and Chris Carter has been talking with Fox about a reboot of The X Files. A new promo picture for Doctor Who has been released and it’s both spoilery and paying homage to a famous moment in the classic series, Steven Moffat still wants Peter Jackson to direct an episode of the show and we have details of the limited edition 50^th Anniversary box set. In other news, Peter Capaldi’s first adventure will be getting a limited cinema release, though at the time of writing we’ve no idea about Australian screenings.

There’s trailers for the comedy Space Station 76 and documentary The Death of Superman Lives, a brief promo teaser for Guardians of the Galaxy, which has a brief glimpse of Thanos’ throne and Nebula (Karen Gillan) speaking and a new teaser for Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, which leads me to wonder why is it always hip hop? Can we not have one movie that shows the heroes rocking out to something with guitars? Just once, I’d love to see a fight kick off and something like Toxic Waltz or 2 Minutes to Midnight start up. Is that too much to ask? There’s plenty of geeky metal bands (Blind Guardian wrote an album based around The Silmarillion for crying out loud), so we can’t we metal fans get a bit more love?

I’m not saying replace Howard Shore, but now that you mention it…

We end this week with the next salvo in the eternal war between Britain and France, with a British inventor building what can best be termed a giant fart machine (AKA a valveless engine), to be set up the cliffs of Dover. The machine itself will be disguised inside a giant pair of trousers and aimed at France.  Apparently, it’s a test to see if it can be heard over the channel, given the stories that First World War artillery fire could be heard from that distance. Or that it’s an incredibly elaborate way of saying that farts are funny, which is the more likely theory.

Quote of the Week:

Felicity: What were you thinking?

Oliver: What?

Felicity: Over 64 million woman over the age of consent in Russia and you sleep with her.

Oliver: So we’re not doing the “What happens in Russia stays in Russia?”

Felicity: We’re still in Russia.

Arrow – Keep your Enemies Closer

Cheers,

Gavin

Yes, yes again we’re late. Well, there’s been a lot on OK?

I spent the long weekend gaming at Phenomenon in Canberra, continue to lose games of Lords of Waterdeep and recently spent some time teaching a 4 year old girl to throw knives. In my defence, they were LARP safe foam knives and her parents have already taught her the proper to kill a zombie. (Double Tap of course!) Moving on…

The most glorious thing I’ve seen recently is a tough choice between the Aurora Borealis seen over Minnesota, an Uruk  Hai doing the grocery shopping or Mark Hamill having a conversation between Luke Skywalker and The Joker. It’s short, but oh so sweet. For those in even more need of distractions from the real world (So you’ve been following Australian politics as well?), there’s a jazz version of the Game of Thrones theme, which is as amazing as the Duck Tales theme done by Saturday Morning Slow Jams. Takes me back to first seeing The Moods do the Cantina Band song it does…

Good news everyone! Disney have reversed course and will be rolling out Princess Leia merchandise. Now, if said merchandise can not focus on the metal bikini, that’d be great. Leia’s one of the leading figures of the Rebellion, a take’s no shit from Darth Vader, self rescuing figure of awesome, and I for one would be very happy if those aspects of her character were recognised more. In more news from the ’About Fucking Time’ department,  Episode 7 recently announced a pair of new female roles, adding Lupita Nyong’o (12 Years a Slave) and Gwendoline Christie (Game of Thrones) to the film, but frustratingly we still have no idea who’ll they’ll be playing. I don’t care about on-set pictures, I just want to know who’s playing who! There’s also talk that Simon Pegg will be appearing, but that seems to be a standard rumour for every geek project these days.

It’s been confirmed that Josh Trank is directing a second Star Wars spin off movie. It’ll be Trank’s second film in that universe, with a short he made in college in 2007, called Stabbing at Leia’s. A few early details for the now cancelled series Star Wars: Underworld have surfaced, including when Han and Chewie first met and when Lando lost the Falcon to Han, Lawrence Kasdan is reportedly writing a Boba Fett movie, while JJ Abrams’s response to a recent glut of leaked photos was kinda cute.

 A boy and his Wookiee

Following on from the news that Peyton Reed will be directing Ant-Man, with Marvel releasing a synopsis for the film, Vincent D’Onofrio has been cast as the Kingpin in Daredevil  and while in more surprising news, Scott Derrickson (Sinister) will be directing Doctor Strange.  Unsurprisingly, Tom Hardy and Benedict Cumberbatch have been linked to the title role. What is said to be the DC movie schedule from here to 2018 has leaked and if true, it’s pretty bizarre. Shazam and Sandman movies before Wonder Woman? I’m not saying they aren’t worthy of a movie, but surely the chance to one-up Marvel by delivering a female led movie first is something worth doing?

Jupiter Ascending has been pushed back to early 2015, some spiffy new posters for Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles have emerged and Guillermo Del Toro has had to pass on directing a live action Beauty and the Beast film, owing to the several million other projects he’s working on. Dan Harmon still has hope we’ll see more Community, HBO has explained why they aren’t making American Gods, while one of the writers of Game of Thrones is working on the Magic: The Gathering script.

There’s a collection of video game trailers from the E3 convention, including gameplay footage from Batman: Arkham Knight and looks at Dragon Age 3, Assassin’s Creed: Unity and Star Wars: Battlefront. There’s been some controversy about Assassin’s, mainly it’s lack of female characters and the outrageously shitty excuses concerning the lack of said characters in the game. Ubisoft have tried to explain, but those comments (As well as those talking about Far Cry 4) have only dug deeper into the hole. I’m no programmer, but I don’t buy the excuse that adding female characters would have doubled the workload. There’s 10 studios working on this thing and you can’t add something representing half of the world’s population and thus increasing the chances of selling more copies of your game? On the bright side, they’re said to be fixing the eavesdropping missions, which are my least favourite thing about the games.

 As usual, John Kovalic say’s it better than I can.

The first trailer for the documentary Turtle Power, looking at the history of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and is set to be released several days after the new movie and may prove to be an antidote for it. I don’t hold a huge attachment to the franchise, but it was a large part of my life for a couple of years, so I’m curious to see how the new film holds up. We also have another trailer for Sin City: A Dame to Kill For and the first looks at the spin off Penguins of Madagascar, which is really all I wanted from the Madagascar films themselves and Birdman, starring Michael Keaton as a washed up actor who used to play a superhero. Strange isn’t the word, but it certainly looks interesting.

Turning to the idiot box, there’s teasers for Constantine, the first good look at Dominion (Which looks terrible, but has Anthony Stewart Head) and Sharknado 2: The Second One manages to look even dumber than the first. On the bright side, the film is sponsoring shark conservation research, so some good will come of it. There’s also the first look at the Star Trek fan project Axanar, documenting the Four Year war between the Klingon Empire and the Federation. Now, this is no mere fan project – they’ve managed to enlist the likes of Tony Todd, JG Hertzler, Kate Vernon and Richard Hatch in the cast. It’s weird hearing Tony Todd’s voice and not seeing him in Klingon makeup though…

We leave this week with a celebration of glorious pastime of my youth, with the first Fighting Fantasy Convention set to take place in London in September. If you’re like me, you’ll have many happy memories of flipping back and forth through the books, then finding you died, cursing in frustration and hoping you didn’t lose your place so you could try the other options!

Quote of the Week:

Joker: Dear friends, today is the day the clown cried. And he cries not for the passing of one man, but for the death of a dream: the dream that he would someday taste the ultimate victory over his hated enemy. For it was the Batman who made me the happy soul I am today. How I agonized over the perfect way to thank him for that! Perhaps with a cyanide pie in the face, or an exploding whoopee cushion playfully planted in the Batmobile. But those dreams were dashed (starts getting angry) by the weaselly little gunsel sitting there in our midst. The cowardly, insignificant goniff who probably got lucky when Batman slipped on the slime trail this loser left behind him! This mound of diseased hyena filth who’s not fit to lick the dirt from my spats! (suddenly cheerful again) But I digress. The time for sorrow has passed. It’s time to look ahead, to a future filled with smiles. And I’ll be smiling again, just as soon as we take that man there and slap him in that box there, and roll it into that vat of acid there! (the hoodlums place Sid into the coffin, and Harley Quinn plays “Amazing Grace” on the kazoo as the coffin starts moving into the acid vat)

Sid: (as his coffin rolls off) No! No! I never meant to do it! Help! This isn’t funny anymore! Would it help if I said I’m sorry? I’m really, really, really, really, really sorry!

Joker: (After Harley finishes her kazoo solo) Well, that was fun! Who’s for Chinese?

Batman The Animated Series: The Day the Clown Cried

Cheers,

Gavin

Welcome again dear readers!

We start this week with utterly amazing life changing world shattering news, the sort of thing that’s accompanied by screams of joy and more pyro than a Kiss gig. Am I exaggerating? Maybe…

First off, Pixar have confirmed they’re working on a sequel to The Incredibles. That’s right, the Parr family is coming back to screens. Now, they’ve also announced a third Cars film, but if that’s the price we have to pay, then I’ll gladly pay it. Now, while The Incredibles doesn’t need a sequel, that doesn’t mean I’m not absurdly excited to get one. Brad Bird has said numerous times he’d love to do another one, but it waiting for the right story. Could this mean they have found that?

The second piece of news? There’s going to be a Bananaman movie. Yes, Britain’s greatest superhero is getting his own movie! It’s still early days with the films website containing an orchestral version of the show theme (Which I’ve had stuck in my head ever since) and a hashtag, #peelthepower. I’m utterly incapable of being in any way objective or critical about this and I nearly screamed with joy when I first saw the news. The only sticking point for me is the cast, which hasn’t been announced yet. If it’s not the Goodies doing the voices,  then it’s not Bananaman.

It’s like I’m 7 years old again…

Now, a quick word to the creative teams of both films, since I’m sure they’re reading this. I ask, nay, I demand, DON’T SCREW THIS UP. Cause if you do, there will be nowhere on this or any other Earth you can hide. I’ll chase you ’round the moons of Nibia and ’round the Antares Maelstrom and ’round Perdition’s flames before I give you up…

*Ahem*

OK, that was a bit over the top. I’m actually only likely to write a snarky blog post or two, but I wanted to properly convey my feelings on this. Yes, it’s a silly cartoon, but it’s a big part of my childhood and I’ve had enough of those stomped on in recent years.

In further movies news, a fifth Pirates film hasn’t been confirmed, Ghostbusters 3 is still set to start next year and the script for the next Tintin film has been finished. George RR Martin has been having discussions about a  Game of Thrones movie, presumably as a wrap up of the series. The trend of turning 80s cartoons into movies has continued with the announcement of a Jem and the Holograms movie,  complete with one of the worst press release lines I’ve ever heard. If you can make it through the line  According to the producers, Jem is being reimagined “for a whole new generation with themes of being true to who you are in a multitasking, hyperlinked social media age” without wanting to smash your head against something, you’re better than I am. What is that even supposed to mean anyway? Role-players of a certain age will recognise Dark Dungeons, the infamous anti Dungeons and Dragons tract by Jack Chick. Well, a movie version is on the way and it has Chick’s approval. Do you think he realises they’ll be taking the piss?

It’ll soon be time to return to a galaxy far, far away, with shooting on Star Wars Episode 7 to begin in May. Little is known about the films, other than it’ll be set 30 years after Return of the Jedi and R2-D2 and C3PO will be returning. It’s expected that Mark Hamill, Carrie Fisher and Harrison Ford are also returning, but how much screen time they’ll get is unknown.

 Yeah, I can’t argue with that.

Meanwhile, Baron Administrator of Cloud City and professional cape wearer Lando Calrissian, or as he’s otherwise known, Billy Dee Williams, has been on the American Dancing with the Stars and while I don’t think much of his dancing, he is 76 years old. There’s also an interesting rumour that casting is underway for a Star Wars live action series and possible a mini-series. I’m waiting till I see something official before I start getting worked up.

Turning to all things Marvel and DC, we have a collection of all the Avengers: Age of Ultron material from the promo special Assembling the Universe, which was mostly concept art, as I assume you can wait a couple of weeks and restrain yourself from watching the first 10 minutes of  Captain America: The Winter Soldier, which also went to air. I couldn’t…) Marvel boss Kevin Feige has said they could start releasing more movies per years, which increases the chance of them finally making a female led movie. Do you really want to lose that title to DC? Speaking of DC, some enterprising snoops have a series of photos from the shooting of Gotham, with good looks at James Gordon and Oswald Cobblepot, AKA the Penguin. A promotional picture of actor Donal Logue as Detective Harvey Bullock has also been released, with the show’s logo and synopsis also revealed recently.

It could be a case of out with the old and in with the old for X:Men: Days of Future Past, with word that Halle Berry might have been cut from the film, but another original mutant is getting a cameo. Berry’s part in the film was said to be small, but it seems the closer we get the longer the Deleted Scenes section on the DVD will be. Release dates have been announced for a collection of genre films, including Wolverine 2 (Which James Mangold will be directing after X:Men: Apocalypse, which we’ve heard will be set in the 1980’s), a mystery Marvel film and a sequel to the Fantastic Four reboot, the first film of which hasn’t started shooting yet. Said film might also be in some trouble if rumours are to be believed, which are that Fox wants a new script, director and cast. They’ve been hotly denied by the studio, but no smoke without fire eh?

The last person not to heat Hugh Jackman’s bath water hasn’t been seen since.

Leaving the big screen we turn out attention to the idiot box, with word that the fourth season of American Horror Story will be set in a carnival, the TV adaption of comic series Powers is moving to the Play Station on demand service and Patton Oswalt will be appearing in Agents of SHIELD, where he’ll be playing a former Howling Commando.

Another classic series monster may be returning to Doctor Who, the push to get the show an official Lego set has continued and Seventh Doctor Sylvester McCoy will be guest starring in Inspector Chronicles, joining, among others, Robert Picardo, Chase Masterson and Mayim Bialik. The web show is based on Inspector Spacetime, the Doctor Who parody from the show Community. Instead of a second season, the series is asking for donations to fund a feature film, to be titled (Deep breath here) The Inspector Chronicles: Untitled Motion Picture About A Space Traveler Who Can Also Travel Through Time. Bit of a mouthful that…

We have what is apparently the final trailer for The Amazing Spider-Man 2, which should mean there’s at least 10 seconds of the film that hasn’t been in a trailer at this point. We also have trailers for The Maze Runner, which if I was to be overly catty would say was a Hunger Games knock off, but with a twist – it stars a boy!, and new trailers for Malificent and the Godzilla reboot.

The world of Warhammer 40,000 is coming to mobile games, with a video game starring Inquisitor Gregor Eisenhorn and based on the novel Xenos, while Jane Badler (Best known for eating a rat in V) will be co-starring in Night Terrace, the audio series from the people behind the Doctor Who podcast Splendid Chaps.

Nobody expects the Imperial Inquisition!

We end this week with a very strange piece of news: an edited, family friendly version of The Walking Dead will be airing on a Fox Channel in the US. Going by stereotypical US conservatism, that should mean each episode is about 30 seconds long, including commercials. A family friendly Walking Dead, that’s like Danger Mouse without puns, or heavy metal music without Satan – it exists yes, but there’s not really much point to it is there?

Quote of the Week:

Ace: What’s down there?

Warmsly: Don’t ask me. I’ve only been excavating this site for ten years.

Doctor: With any luck, a tunnel.

Ace: A dark mysterious one?

Doctor: Probably.

Ace: Leading to unknown dangers?

Doctor: Indubitably.

Ace: Oh, wicked.

Doctor Who – Battlefield

Cheers,

Gavin

(The following is a transcript of an email sent to The Bugle podcast)

Hello Andy, Chris and John (In alphabetical order),

I write to you on behalf of all Australia in a time of desperate need. You see, we need your help, much like Princess Leia needed the help of Obi-Wan Kenobi in Star Wars. Yes, I know we’ve had our differences, what with our stealing Tom and certain diplomatic incidents, but I’m prepared to put all that behind us if you can help us.

You see, our current Prime Minister, Tony Abbott (The man who described the Syrian conflict as baddies vs baddies) has been something of a grade-A arsehole. His recent statements have included saying he wouldn’t support the creation of new national parks, claiming the national broadcaster wasn’t on Australia’s side, trying to discredit asylum seekers and threatened to deport them if they spit, swear or irritate people and claiming that women have smashed the glass ceiling in this country, despite having just one woman in his cabinet. As you can imagine, we’re in serious need of some serious satire, satire of the quality that only your find podcast can provide.

Now, thrash metal band Gwar have been decapitating Abbott on stage during their recent tour, but that’s not enough. Therefore, I beg that you satirise the living shit out of our Prime Minister to the best of your considerable abilities. If you can do this, then I, and all Australian Buglers (By which I mean all Australians past, present and future) will be forever in your debt. This is our most desperate hour. Help us John and Andy, you’re our only hope.

Thank you,

Gavin.

Is an underrated Iron Maiden song, but that’s not what I’m talking about. I’m here to talk about gaming, specifically live action gaming.

The New Zealand LARP scene is awesome – seriously, it’s freaking awesome. Thanks to having the best wife in the world, I got to spend a day LARPing, on a holiday that was primarily about attending a family wedding. Do I have the best wife? Yes, yes I do). I’d previously gone there to game for the opening of St Wolfgang’s Vampire Hunters (I’m still embarrassed that they wrote plot for me, but couldn’t wake me) back in 2007 and itched to go back ever since.

We were talking part in the introductory games for the up-coming campaign Crucible, which sees several nations arriving on a mysterious new island. We, the crew, were playing members of the Wild Hunt, a grouping of the children of the forest such as trolls, satyrs, dryads etc and were made up as such.

A very exhausted, slightly dehydrated troll with half his face melted off

The 2 games that took place on the day saw the arrival on the island of the two of the game’s factions, the Drazhar and the Alteraanians. The Drazhar (Who are basically the Dothraki from Game of Thrones with a little less rape and pillage, a little more action) arrived, only to find themselves confronted by angry natives (That’d be us, the crew) and mostly unarmed (Whether a player had their weapons at the start was decided by a game of Rock/Paper/Scissors beforehand). Wisely, they chose to surrender.

After taking them back to our encampment (Around the corner from a pair of sunbathers, who were giving us some very strange looks), they were prodded with questions, tested on their skills and told to pick 3 of their landing to chase down a captive of ours, a sorcerer of the Ebon Legion, an NPC (Non Player Character) faction of demon worshippers despised by all. In this, they failed miserably, but it was A: stupidly hot and B: several were wearing armour. The game ended with a rousing fight between the new allies and a group of the Legion, which was a rousing victory for the good guys. (I played little part in the battle, but I’m open about the fact I’m a fairly shit fighter.)

The second game had a lot less details – basically, fight, rest and fight. The Alteraanians (A race of merchants and the richest of the factions) were confronted by an angry group of the Wild Hunt as they picked themselves up off the beach. We’d been instructed not to kill any of them, but give them a good scare. This, we managed quite well, as they’d left themselves spread out and unable to protect many of the more squishy members of their band. The second battle saw them much improved, bottle necking an opening with fighters with heavy armour and shields. Needless to say we tried, but got battered down repeatedly. And thus ended the day…

It was a blast and made the ensuing exhaustion, mild sunburn and feeling of “Oh gods, I’ve not used those muscles in far too long” worth it. It’s also made me want to do more work on getting the Sydney scene in shape, so we could one-day have games that Kiwis want to come play. Of the two games that I know of, Journeyman is the closest to getting going (And by which I mean it needs a lot of work), while Swordcraft Sydney (An offshoot of the Melbourne game) is still in the early stages. Not to mention, the I kind of owe the Freeform Collective a game…

First off, if you know what the title of this post references, you have taste. *light applause*

Secondly, I’m back from New Zealand and am busily catching up on all the news I missed while I was stuck with shitty Wi-Fi. Still coming down from a fantastic LARP experience (Which I’ll be writing about later) and walking through Hobbiton, which is eyeball meltingly beautiful.

It’s a week till Soundwave Perth and they finally released a timetable. There’s only one major clash and I’ve got enough time between bands to hydrate etc. Anyhow, here’s what the timetable looks like:
11:00-11:40 The Porkers / Amon Amarth – The Porkers bring the awesome, but Amon have a longship as part of the stage show. Well, half of a longship, but it’s still HALF OF A FUCKING LONGSHIP. Tough choice. Boils down to songs about beer and not getting laid or songs about Vikings and mead. Tough choice.
12:00-12:30 Nancy Vandal – Cheap jokes, teenage nostalgia and songs about the Simpsons. Who could resist that?
1:20-2:00 Testament – A large chunk of the reason I’m going. So long as they play ‘Into the Pit’ I’ll be happy, but if they play ‘The Persecuted Won’t Forget’ I’ll be ecstatic.
2:40-3:20 GWAR – It’s for the stage show.
5:40-6:20 Skindred – It’d be too much to ask for a Dub War cover or two, but a man can dream right? Still, watching Benji Webbe do his thing is worth it.
7:15-8:15 Rob Zombie – As with Gwar, it’s for the stage show. Maybe a White Zombie tune or two?
8:45-10:00 Avenged Sevenfold – What I’ve heard of them I’ve enjoyed, but they apparently insisted on playing in the dark so I’m guessing they’ll be a lot of pyro and more KABOOM is good in my book.

So, only one question remains – do I wear my kilt or not? Readers?