Pax Europa was a joy. It was also the messiest and most drama filled larp I’ve played in, and I can’t wait to do it again. Set in an alternate steampunk universe in the late 1800’s, the 4 great powers of Europe (Britain, France, Germany and Russia) had come to Sweden for the Nobel Peace Prize, to be chosen by the Swedish hosts. Shenanigans, chaos, several major incidents and a war ensued. What, you were expecting things to go smoothly? THIS. IS. DIPLOMACY!

First off, my fellow players and orgs were lovely. Fucking wonderful. Welcoming, easy to talk to and happy to roll with my shenanigans. Just the sort of players you want. I jave to give an extra shout out to the ones who checked in afterwards and apologized for ruining my characters life. All good people. I knew going in that it wouldn’t nd well, but hadn’t figured just how badly it would end.

The pre game workshops explaining the basic mechanics worked well, with enough time to absorb everything, but not long enough that it felt like it was cutting into game time. True, perhaps a bit more time to work on relationships beforehand could have been used, but that could be down to nerves on my part. The Facebook groups for the various nations worked a treat though.

The ‘Off game’ mechanics (The call ‘off game, intimacy /violence’ is given, and the players work out what’s going to happen before it does. If one side doesn’t give approval, then things move on immediately) worked well and were easily remembered. I’m sorely tempted to use them if I run anything of this nature in future (Properly credited, of course)

The venue itself was lovely – it could possibly have used another room, or the upstairs area, but then we might have needed a few more players to fill things out. Given the tight corridors and doorways I’m glad I decided not to bring a larp sword as part of my costume, as my knife (in a sheath at my lower back) got caught on enough doorways. My decision to forget to eat throughout the game was dumb of me, as by the time of dinner I was UTTERLY RAVENOUS. Possibly a good thing I decided not to shoot the French general who was sitting opposite me, but unknown to me war had been declared so it might have been OK. In character I was also very, very drunk, as my life had been slightly ruined by that stage, but more on that in a bit. Bloody good scones earlier though, worthy of mighty praise they were.

Who was I? Caleb Burton, British adventurer, racounter and writer. I’d come to the symposium to launch my latest book, a lurid tale of my adventures and explorations of Red Martians culture titled ‘Life on the Red Sands.’ I’d already been warned by the British diplomatic section not to start a war, and I only came slightly close to that. My theory on the Red Martians being ancient humans didn’t meet with as much shouting as I was expecting, but the arrival of the Jeddak of Helium (AKA the Martian High King), who’s son I’d been *ahem* involved with earlier certainly shook things up. Talking to the NPC crew member later he’d said virtually everything I said to him made things worse, and I couldn’t have planned that better if I tried. *beams*

IN SHORT:
Presented my findings on the Red Martians, though sadly that didn’t cause as much of a fuss as I expected. Not to worry on that front though.
Almost caused a major international incident with the Jeddak (High King) of the Martian city of Helium.
Patched things up somewhat with my exes, though I owe 1 a hell of a favour.
Didn’t start a war. Yes, I am proud of that.
Got very, very drunk.
Forgot to do almost every other goal I’d set for myself.

OTHER STUFF I REMEMBER.
The exorcism? I’m not sure entirely what that was about, but being asked “You look like a man keen to restore his honour” and I figured why the fuck not? It seems as if the spirit of Imhotep was excised and channeled into a bottle, but I’d lost track of stuff by that stage. Also, the tentacle. Not sure what happened there, but it was a Russian scientist so who knows. (Who was very kind and didn’t stab me in the back. Long story.)

With the High King extremely angry and wanting my works to be erased from history, I was in a bind, and attempted to solve it by A: trying to apologize (Didn’t work) and then B: getting drunk. There was chemical wackiness with the British journalist (recovering from an arm wound from a lightning cannon that was tested on him – it was only meant to stun), the chemicals in question having been stolen, I believe, from the German delegation. Good stuff that.

Seeing people reading from my book (My wife generously donated some of her old romance novels to be re-covered) and shout horrible things I’d written about them was hilarious. Trying to extricate myself from a mess and hearing “Flat chested blonde haired strumpet!” off to my left was both punch the air and brown trousers time.

Finding my publishers had dumped the excess copies of the book (I DON’T REMEMBER WHO DID IT, BUT SOMEONE OWNED UP TO IT LATER) in the Channel and that they were washing up on French beaches was horrifying, but things started to work when with thanks from an ex (A French adventurer), I got them hidden. Fortunately, thanks to the public censorship, the black market price shooting through the roof and a secret print run for the American market, things were starting to look up again. That was around the point at which I found war had been declared by the British and Germans against France, which led to my ecstatic fist pump and cry of “Not my fault!” confusing some of the Russians.

That’s all I remember at the moment. If you’re reading this and I got stuff wrong, please correct me. In my defense, it was a very long trip. Kicking myself for not getting any photos, but looking forward to the professional ones. And the footage one of te players was taking – I think there’s some of the Jeddak and I’s confrontation…

To sum up: diplomacy, flirting, heavy drinking, a couple of minor errors of judgement, some light recreational chemical abuse and drunken self reflection. It was a good, good night. Can’t wait to do it all again. Already having a pile of ideas for what character I’d play next time and how to costume them (You know, the important stuff).

Thanks all. Peace in our time motherfuckers.