The difference, old chum, is I’m not wearing hockey pads.

We’re late, again, as I’m sure you guessed. What’s the reason for this? Well, there was a medieval fair (I bought a drinking horn from the people who made my wife and I’s wedding rings), my 4th wedding anniversary and a few other excuses I could cite, but mostly, the blame can be laid at the feet of Assassin’s Creed: Black Flag. Those who have played it will understand, those who won’t just understand yet how awesome it is to be an assassin AND a pirate. 20140523_153115

Yes, yes they are. And my wife is even cooler.

Writer/Producer David Goyer has been in the news a lot, after making some rather unkind comments about Martian Manhunter and She-Hulk in a now deleted podcast. We won’t repeat any of them (You can find them at the link), but suffice to say they caused something of a shitstorm, with a universally negative reaction. Even Stan Lee has given his two cents on the matter, with two of the better looks at the situation coming from blogger Steve Darlington and FILM CRIT HULK. As far as I know Goyer hasn’t commented, but podcast host Craig Mazin has and as apologies go, I’ve seen better ones from 6 year olds. Let’s move on shall we?

To cleanse the palate from that, the first teaser trailer for the new season of Doctor Who has landed, with the show set to air in August. Karl Urban has called for a Kickstarter to fund a Dredd sequel, we’ve seen the first trailer for TV show The Quest, which is Survivor meets Dungeons and Dragons (And looks a lot less insulting than King of the Nerds) and the next Superman film now has an official title: Batman vs Superman: Dawn of Justice. Meh. Could be better, could be worse.

It was announced earlier today that Gareth Edwards will be directing the first Star Wars spin-off movie. It’s not known who or what the film will be about, but the list of upcoming projects that was leaked this week, if true, says we’re getting a Boba Fett film. (Edwards is going to be a busy boy, what with two Godzilla sequels on the way) JJ Abrams shot a message from the set, promoting a new charity venture, Force for Change, and announcing a competition to win an appearance in the movie. Watching the creature walk past made my heart skip a beat – practical effects and puppets, be still my beating heart… There’s also been reports of Chewbacca and Stormtroopers filming in Iceland, though to counter that, the game Attack Squadrons (said to be almost finished) has been cancelled. Do you know how long I’ve been waiting for another good Star Wars flight game?

XWing_Box_Cover

The highlight of my teenage years.

Trailer wise, there’s been an ‘international trailer’ for Transformers: Age of Extinction, along with 3 new TV spots. There’s also a second trailer for Guardians of the Galaxy and a third for Jupiter Ascending, which has a long way to go to match Amazing Spider-Man 2’s record.  We would bring you the teaser for Big Hero 6, but a pox on trailers for trailers. Ahem. There’s the first looks at Kingsman: The Secret Service, which has the classic street thug recruited by MI6 routine, but with Colin Firth, teasers for upcoming SyFy shows Ascension and Dominion and the first trailer at Dark Dungeons, the adaption of the legendary anti Dungeons and Dragons tract by Jack Chick. ARE YOU READY TO RPG?

One of the most controversial games of the 90’s, Night Trap, may be returning, and yeah… Halo 5 and Far Cry 4 have been announced and we’ll be getting a new Rockstar game before March 2015, though what it will be is still a mystery. I’m hoping for a sequel to Red Dead Redemption myself, but I love a good western. We also have a new trailer for Arkham Knight, which has the return of Kevin Conroy (Batman: The Animated Series) as the voice of Batman, after he sat out Arkham: Origins. I’ve said it before and will say it again – if someone doesn’t mod the Adam West Batmobile in this, I’m going to be very disappointed. Because a world where Kevin Conroy’s Bat-Voice say’s ‘Atomic batteries to power, turbines to speed’ is a vastly better world to the one in which we live and to argue otherwise is somewhere on the scale of MONUMENTALLY STUPID between invading Russia in winter and paying to watch Adam Sandler movies.

We have more information on the release of the new edition of Dungeons and Dragons! There’ll be a starter box set (With pre-gen PC’s, dice and an adventure) available mid-July, with the release of the three core books (Players Handbook, Monster Manual and Dungeon Masters Handbook) released between August and November, in an effort to reduce errors. They’ll be complimented by a pair of adventures, Horde of the Dragon Queen and Rise of Tiamat,  where players will be pitted against Tiamat, one of the most legendary foes in the history of the game. Surprisingly, it’s not all from Wizards of the Coast – the miniatures line has been licensed to Wiz Kids, makers of Mage Knight and Hero Clix, while the adventures to be released alongside the core books were created by Kobold Press.

Dio Nat 20

Everything’s better with Dio. EVERYTHING.

Bad news everybody! Edgar Wright has left Ant-Man, with the dreaded artistic differences  being cited as the reason. A new director is yet to be announced and best of luck to them – they’ll need it. There’s been no comment from Marvel, while Wright issued a now deleted Tweet, but Guardians director James Gunn has written about the split, while Joss Whedon hoisted a Cornetto in support, a gesture reminiscent of the famous Mexico City 68 salute. Furthermore, it’s been announced that Drew Goddard has left the Netflix Daredevil series, with Steven S De Knight announced as the new showrunner.

It’s been confirmed that Agent Carter will be 8 episodes long (Or at least it’s first season will be), which is a very good thing and has made me very happy – the American system of as many episodes as possible really annoys me. There’s some pictures of Hawkeye’s new costume in Avengers: Age of Ultron, Hugh Jackman wants Wolverine to join the Avengers, seemingly just so he can fight the Hulk and actress Eden Sher had a meeting with Marvel, which has to mean she’s playing Ms Marvel, right?

Now, I have very little to back this up with, but apparently a pilot is being written for a Locke Lamora TV series. (Based on the books by Scott Lynch) If this happens I’ll be a very, very happy man. For those who’ve not read the books, they’re a fantasy series about a group of thieves called the Gentleman Bastards and are FUCKING AWESOME. No, you don’t get anymore – go read the first book (The Lies of Locke Lamora) and tell me that wouldn’t make a great series. Former Walking Dead showrunner Glen Mazzara is working on a TV version of The Omen, Robert Downey Jr has bought the rights to an episode of Charlie Brooker’s  series Black Mirror and the comic series V-Wars (From IDW Publishing) is being adapted for TV. Turning to the web, the sci fi comedy Space Happens is seeking funding and Chris Hardwick’s All Star Celebrity Bowling is coming to AMC!

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 Are you interested yet?

The first picture of Gal Gadot as Diana Prince in Batman vs Superman has leaked and Kevin Smith won’t shut up about Ben Affleck’s Batsuit. We’ve seen the first poster for Minions (The Despicable Me spin off), Molly Ringwald and Juliette Lewis have joined Jem and the Holograms and Gobber (Craig Ferguson) will be coming out in How to Train Your Dragon 2. If any of you feel the need to scream ‘But think of the children’, blame Craig Ferguson – it was his ad-lib. Oh, and LIGHTEN UP. Alfonso Cuaran is line to direct both the first Fantastic Beasts film (The Harry Potter spin off) and a prequel to The Shining, a sequel to the Lego Movie is in the works, as is a two movie version of Stephen King’s It.

We end this week with some fantastic cosplay – a street performer dressed as a transforming Bumblebee and the magnificence that is Baby Predator, which is something between utterly adorable and pants wettingly terrifying. Either way, it’s deserving of applause.

Quote of the Week:

“… It’s perfect! Locke would appreciate it.”

“Bug,” Calo said, “Locke is our brother and our love for him knows no bounds. But the four most fatal words in the Therin language are ‘Locke would appreciate it.'”

“Rivalled only by ‘Locke taught me a new trick,'” added Galo.

“The only person who gets away with Locke Lamora games …”

“… is Locke …”

“… because we think the gods are saving him up for a really big death. Something with knives and hot irons …”

“… and fifty thousand cheering spectators.”

Scott LynchThe Lies of Locke Lamora

Cheers,

Gavin

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