“All of life can be broken down into moments of transition, or moments…of revelation. This had the feeling of both.”
Babylon 5 – Z’Ha’Dum

Alright, I grant you that’s a portentous way to begin a long, long overdue update. But I have had a revelation, a most enjoyable one in fact. I spent the recent long weekend in Adelaide, at a LARP called Path of the Warden, and bugger me with a fish fork it was the most fun I’ve had in a long, long time. It seemed like one of those “Oh, after all this time this is the sort of thing I’m into” kind of moments. It was one of those times when everything gels – the venue, orgs, players, rules set and mood, just clicked. And I’m going to talk about it, at length, so STRAP IN KIDDIES IT’S ABOUT TO GET GEEKY.

Now, I know I’ve talked about it in the past, but that was the past and you may need a refresher. The setting is heavily inspired by The Witcher series, with a grim and dangerous world in which monsters are real, the Elves are all dead (Whoops…) and humanity’s saviour is an order of monster hunters, called the Wardens, who are organised into 3 schools.
1: The Ox. Heavily armoured and enhanced by potent mutagenic elixirs, they use two-handed weapons to crack through the toughest of monster hides.
2: The Raven. Adept at using rune-casting, the only school of magic available to humans.
3: The Serpent. The support staff, who brew potions, patch wounds and keep an eye on everyone else.

So, what actually happened? Well, there was swordplay, alchemy and sorcery. Brewing potions, studying ancient and terrifying lore. Desperate battle against savage beasts, frantic moments of terror, hands slick with the blood of grievously wounded comrades. Ghosts, monsters and an oddly lovable Harpy. A Troll who’s death was mourned. Death. Romance. An engagement. New and swiftly dear friends. Excitement and an unexpectedly massive emotional investment in my character from yours truly. It was a bloody good way to spend a long weekend. I don’t have enough time or space to give a full highlight reel, but I’ll try to summarise the highlights.

To start with, the rules were a joy. Simple, elegant and easy to get the hang of. None of this counting hit points stuff (Not that there’s anything wrong with that), but a more Nordic approach – if you take a light hit in the limb, you roleplay pain. Take a big hit (AKA, a two handed laboured strike with an appropriate yell, or a hit from a large creature), the limb is incapacitated, and a really big hit, it’s shattered and you’re down and/or screaming. See, simple. So long as everyone is up for the roleplay, right? Not having to count my hit points, or worry about what target zones don’t count (Obviously head and groin shots are banned) – it felt really freeing, and a lot more dangerous. Now, if you’re armoured, you can tank a certain amount of blows that hit the armour. Note, that doesn’t make you invulnerable though. Repeated blows will crack open even plate armour. This sort of thing can lead to hilarious situations, such as me on the Saturday night having my right arm savaged by a blow from a Necrophage (A cannibal mook, in short), and my left broken by a blow from a Troll. (A Troll who was previously a member of the Wardens, one of the Ox school who had overdosed on mutagens. STEVE WAS PEOPLE! PEOPLE!) Myself and another PC bonded over our various wounds that night, a moment which led to something wonderful, but more about that later.

The GM’s and crew were bloody lovely. I was nervous as all hell in the lead up to the event, with various shades of panic rattling through my head (Is my character sensible, will my kit match the standard?), so to be welcomed so wonderfully helped put my mind at ease. The players were also universally lovely and a pile of them have swiftly become near and dear friends. We fought together, bled together and triumphed together and that’s bonding. There was inclusivity (IC and OC pronouns were asked for and given), mechanics for escalation and de-escalation of roleplay were explained, combat demonstrations and how hard to hit given for those who’ve not gamed with them before. All wonderful stuff, and really appreciated.

And now, the event itself. We were playing trainees of the Wardens, the next generation of monster hunters. Some of us were here willingly, some to avoid the noose. Actually, about half of us were there to avoid the noose, my character among them. I was playing my regular well dressed idiot, who went by the name of Audemar DuLac, but with a scoundrel bent to him – a bit of Lando Calrissian, a pinch of Rick O’Connell and a lot of me. It’s easy to play, fit within the setting and meant I wasn’t too far from my comfort zone. Also, I had a very fine hat.

We had come to train, to learn and hopefully carry on the Warden’s mission, and were told that not all would survive, which we found out pretty damn quick during sword training when a PC tried to grab the instructor’s blade and got his throat cut for his trouble. Turned out later he was an NPC plant, but it sure as hell felt real at the time. There was a lot of learning on Day 1, how to use a sword, not eat leaves offered by Satyrs or accept deals with them unless you’re incredibly careful (Bargaining a rare flask of whiskey having eaten a leaf that was an aphrodisiac was worth it, though IC concealing a boner most of the day got awkward.) Mercifully the Lore Master had arranged that all deals were non-binding, but we’ll come back to the Satyr later*.

There followed lessons in rune-casting and potion making, which was the first massive revelation of how much work went into this event: we were actually making potions. Potions class was laid out with a mortar and pestle, small cauldron and other accoutrements at each table and we proceeded to crush, stir and brew up healing juice, known as Gulp. For someone used to collecting laminated tags in the woods this was fucking stunning and incredibly immersive. I believe the stuff was actually drinkable, but I, like several others, went for the role play option. The day passed in a blur of learning – target practise against a Necrophage, and combat training against a Troll. Both beasts were chained, though the guy holding back the Troll was about half the Troll’s weight, leaving him looking like he’d break free at any moment, and did, in the case of one PC who got badly mangled by him. That night brought forth dinner, bloody combat and the Troll both breaking loose and my arm. Bonding happened, more of the results of which will follow. A good first day.

There was a 6 month IC time gap between days 1 and 2, which my character had spent setting up a small black market on the garrison. Nothing heretical, just booze, party drugs, smut and birth control – important stuff for a lonely outpost in the middle of nowhere. Other PC’s spent their time doing things like teaching illiterate PC’s to read, the do-gooding chumps. (I kid, it was lovely) There is a further development though – remember the mention of the broken arm thing? Another PC I was in there with queried that morning as to whether we’d bonded further in the intervening time, and why not? Hell yeah I’m up for character development and connections. That led to discreet inquiries with the GM’s about relationships within the Wardens and I’m getting ahead of myself. Day 2 was more training, brewing fresh potions and extracting Troll fat. From the Troll. He’d had prosthetic wounds placed over his body, which we had to cut open, shift past the ‘muscle’ tissue (Blood soaked cotton wool I believe) and squeeze out the fat from underneath, and let me tell you, playing nauseated at that was VERY FUCKING EASY. Major points for immersion though. By that stage, we had chosen our Paths and were ready to begin, which involved reciting the oath and taking a dose of pepper to the tongue. Ow. Next up, emotions!

You see, as Serpents it’s part of our job to keep the others alive and the Run of the Ox (AKA their initiation) doesn’t always go well. So, when one of the Ox collapsed in front of me and we couldn’t save him, it was devastating. The PC had started as arrogant jerk, but his mauling by the Troll had cooled his blood somewhat. As I said at his funeral, he was an arrogant, overdressed jerk, but was one of us damnit. The surviving Ox hearing that only 1 died this year was a shock to them, as much as it was that they had to do the pepper test as well, a moment that had several of us Serpents inwardly fist pumping. I’m not sure what the Ravens had to do, I assume more pepper? Late in the day was more monster hunting, our first giant beast, though before that was me telling the PC I’d bonded with that I’d like to spend more time with her if I get back. The rest of my band (Adventuring party of one of each type of Warden) was suitably happy at the good news, and we managed to kill the beast without too much trouble, though a common theme of the hunts were people getting caressed on the inner thigh by the beast. Kinky… (Also, I love the random mechanic used for each hunt. This group may face a glass cannon, the next a tank etc.)

That night’s combat was hellish and stressful – between the Empty One (The Necrophage boss), the Haggard Bride (Long story, and I missed most of it) and the constant ghost attacks we were kept incredibly busy. A brief interlude, aka me telling the PC I’d bonded with I loved her made EVERYTHING WORTHWHILE. Not to mention the potion mistress’s face when I explained why I was shaking. Seriously, romance in LARP can be really fun and you should try it more. Telling the Serpent in my love’s hunting band she’d better keep her alive was a wonderful moment, and getting to play nervously waiting for them to return while we could hear the screams and yells of combat was incredibly stressful and utterly magical.

My abiding memory of the night, outside of my declaration of love, was of desperate surgery (The prosthetics I described earlier came out a couple more times, though thankfully were just sewing them up this time) and frantically trying to keep everyone alive. To my pride, we didn’t lose a single PC in the medical area that night, though I believe we lost a couple in the field. Healing was mostly warming people up who’d been touched by ghosts, or making sure injured people had taken Gulp. Those worse off had to take Bone Grow, and roleplaying setting a shattered limb back in place, it’s an experience. (As an aside, I really like roleplay healing not being immediate) I was kicking myself IC for not starting a betting pool on one PC, as it seemed he was attached to the med tent by a giant rubber band, so often was he back. I began to bleed pretty badly at a couple of points, shouting at one person that I’d stab them myself to keep them awake, or nearly screaming when it was pointed out to me my love had returned badly wounded. Emotions are wonderful things and I feel them, a lot.

Long and bloody was the night’s combat, unrelenting and brutal. Much blood was shed, both Warden and foe but ultimately we emerged victorious. Post time out drinks and talk followed and reinforced how bloody lovely the group is. Also, I knew none of them beforehand, which means they’d heard none of my gaming stories and my wife wasn’t around to count how many times she’d heard me tell them. *air guitar solo*

Monday was a half day, with another time skip, our IC graduation and choosing our first assignments, at which points we said our goodbyes and walked off into the world. I shed a tear of two of joy. More emotions and photos followed. You’ll be pleased to know my IC lady and I got some of us as a couple, at which point I took off one of my rings and dropped to one knee (I’d warned her beforehand and given her the option of refusal, but I’m really glad she went for it) and oh, there was a mighty squeal of joy from some who noticed. I cannot wait to see the photos, though I’m slightly terrified of what expression is on my face. I was told later I was her first LARP boyfriend, to which I responded I can only hope I’ve set a near unattainable standard for any future ones. The epitome of modesty I am. And then it was pack up, clean up, and back to reality.

I was in no way ready to go back there though. This game has done a number on me, to the extent I’m writing fanfic about my band’s further adventures, something I’ve never felt like doing before. It was a joy, and I can’t thank everyone involved enough. I began as a petty scoundrel who cared not about death and ended up a Warden, proud of my achievements and engaged to a mighty woman. True, it doesn’t take the cake for most emotional damage (Red Sister’s, Black Skies still holds that record), but it came damn close. The most frustrating part was that it was designed as a one-off, and I’ll be gutted if I don’t get to play Audemar again, not just cause I may have some notes on his wedding vows somewhere. (I don’t want it to be a massive part of any future event, but the idea of getting to play it amuses me greatly.)

It was emotional, exhausting and inspiring. I can’t wait to do it again. It’s games like this why I love LARP so damn much.

*My lady may have arranged for a threesome with us and the Satyr when we return. I missed the IC signals during dinner, but when explained was up for it, even without more Satyr leaf.

(In game pictures from the Path of the Warden Facebook group.)