Tag Archives: Gaming

If you throw dice or use rubber swords…

Picts or it didn’t happen.

How can I wear the harness of toil, and sweat at the daily round?
While in my soul forever the drums of Pictdom sound?
Robert E Howard

It’s been a mixed last few days. Brutal heat, bad sleep and the news that Ravenswood LARP have cancelled their 2026 event. I don’t blame them, the reasons were more than sensible, but I’m still a little sad about it. Still, that’s something to look forward to in 2027, which is nice. Looking at the LARP Calendar has shown mostly battle games, and that’s not dramatic enough for me. At some point I’ll make it to a Concord and continue to foolishly hold out hope that Path of the Warden will return, but there’s precious little else out there that works for me. Still, I’ve managed to find one!

Spurred on by wifely approval and the fact that two of the 3 factions had sold out their ticket allocations, I’m going to Lost Settlers mid next year! The two sold out factions are the Barborillas, inspired by 17th Century Germany and Spain, and the Orthos, who have a British redcoat vibe. Now, I’ll miss the chance to dress flamboyantly, or Sharpely, but the faction I’ve joined (who still have tickets available!) are the Broch’Tir, who are inspired by ancient Celts, Gauls and the Picts. In short, that’s my jam, as the Skindred song goes. The chance to play with black powder weapons (albeit represented by band guns, rather than cap firing weapons) is one I’ll miss, but the chance to get my Celtic barbarian on? OH HELL YES.

Now, it’s still in the early stages. I’ve been excitedly bouncing around character ideas, looking at what kit I have that’s suitable and works for a Victorian winter. There’s also the matter of sticking to the game’s cultural brief, which sadly means modern kilts are out. Though if I’m reading it correctly (and I really hope I am), the old school great kilt is allowable to a certain degree. And at that point dear reader, I may have let out a burst of joy that even BRIAN BLESSED might have considered a bit loud. I’ve not found a suitable tartan or fabric yet, and I’ll need to get cheat pleats installed, but I’ve wanted to own one for years, and this is as good a time as any.

The two main ideas I’m tossing around are as following:
1: Big Game Hunter. Quiet, sneaky bastard, but reliable and a provider for his tribe.
2: Old Warrior. Cheerful, enthusiastic, and desperately ignoring the fact that he’s getting old.
I do have a loose third concept, but it’s more an additional idea. See, the players have been exceptionally well organised and set up a Google Sheet that has character details, and only a couple of them have taken any sort of medical skill, and from past experience at Path of the Warden, a healer is always useful. Now, from what I’ve read of the rules, combat is rather lethal – armour doesn’t add to it for starters, merely cuts down the stages of healing. Yep, none of this healed in seconds by magic nonsense at this game, no. There’s also a solid warning to bring suitable kit for a new character should the worst happen. I’m reminded of a story from a friend who had a character at a Concord event last about 12 hours, but those 12 hours were glorious.

Side note: the threat of death also happens to be something I enjoy in a LARP.

I’m leaning towards the second option, or an unholy combination of the two, mostly owing to wanting to be A: useful and B: social. It’s an important lesson to remember in LARP (along with remembering to eat and wear comfortable shoes), that while the likes of Batman and Wolverine may be fun on the page, playing an anti-social loner can turn out to be not very much fun. I’ve also inquired if any other players in my nation are interested in some IC romance during the event, but it’s early days. There’s plenty of time to sort out romantic entanglements before hand. Besides, I don’t even have a character confirmed yet!

As for inspirational material, it’s no surprise my first thought was Robert E Howard’s tales of Bran Mak Morn, the Last King of the Picts. Despite Bran appearing in few stories compared to Conan or Solomon Kane, Worms of the Earth and Kings of the Night are bona-dife Howard classics. Other reading is some Osprey books on the Picts, and I’m pretty sure I have a couple on the Roman invasion of Britain kicking about. On that note, the films Centurion and The Eagle are due for a re-watch (Or in the latter case, a first one) and I dug out my copies of season 1 and 2 of Britannia. Fingers crossed I make it more than 3 episodes in this time. Still, there’s David Morrisey and Ian McDiarmid chewing the scenery with merry abandon, which helps. There’s also the 2004 King Arthur, the Doctor Who episode The Eaters of Light (written by Rona Munro, who also wrote Survival, the last story to air in the classic series) and the 2007 film The Last Legion which I sold a friend on watching by saying it had Colin Firth in Roman armour. (That’s not a lie to be clear, but I’m not sure it salvages the film itself)

It also means I have the chance to possibly buy a new sword or axe, not to mention taking my long bow into (fake) battle again. It’s been far too long since I’ve shot it. There’s the gorgeous leather cuirass I bought at a medieval fair a couple years back I’ve hardly worn and while it would require taking the Instrument skill (A tough choice, given there’s only 5 skill slots), the temptation to buy the largest blowing horn I can find has noisily reared it’s head again. Sure, I’d likely need to walk a kilometre or two into a nearby National Park to practise with it, but I’d rather spare my neighbours that horror. Still, could be worse – I could be singing.

So yeah. I’m in that early stage of a new game excitement. It feels wonderful to have things in the calendar that aren’t my brain doctor appointments. I’m kicking around ideas for Pheno next year and still have the occasional thought of making another attempt at working on another LARP event. Either way, it’s lovely to have things to look forward to. May you as well.

*sighs*

As frequently, it’s been a while since I’ve written here. Working in retail during the Christmas season doesn’t leave much time and combine that with exhaustion from the heat (Stupid burning hell pit of a country) and a self diagnosed seasonal depression spike have meant I haven’t exactly been in a good frame of mind. I’ll spare you further ruminations and instead apologise to anyone who had the misfortune to interact with me when I’ve not been having a good day.

So, instead the good stuff! My wife and I bought an apartment, more on that later. I bought another LARP sword, though that was mostly to distract from the constant mind shattering terror of the orange one’s return. It’s felt really fucking weird the couple of times I’ve talked to customers in the store about Fair and Balanced, having to really labour the point that it was run in October 2016, when that shit was still funny. I was really looking forward to being able to look at the news without that creeping feeling of dread, that constant background noise of “Oh what the fuck has he done now?” I keep telling myself all I can do is be a good person, help where I can and not snitch. To worry about the things I can change, keep looking to hope and not doom scroll. Election day local time was particularly bad, as it was deathly quiet in the store, which left me time to, you guessed it, doom scroll. sigh

I got to see Hammerfall with my wife, and it was as ridiculous and glorious as I’d hoped for. For starters, neither of us had any hope we’d ever get the chance, but getting to see them was a real bucket list kind of night. For a band who’ve played massive Euro festivals, to see them at the Manning Bar may have seemed like a comedown, but the show was just as over the top, albeit with less pyro. Gods, I adore when bands do the co-ordinated headbanging, it’s so stupid I can’t help but love it. I can’t explain why, but it just makes me so happy. Outside of Hammerfall, I’ve been listening to a lot of versions of The Ecstasy of Gold. That’s mostly as A: it’s fucking brilliant and B: my wife mentioned putting a will together, and my brain (After mostly recovering from running screaming at the merest contemplation of my mortality) set to wanting to make a funeral playlist. I know there’ll be some John Williams and Iron Maiden, but I can’t decide if Brillig’s The Old Captain is the start or end song.

And yes, I am now a home owner. Since that, instances of friends calling me bourgeois scum and/or calling for my execution via madame guillotine have shot up alarmingly. This has meant, since we’re moving to a smaller space, that I’m having to pack and cull things. It’s been, emotional. One shelf has a pile of notebooks* (THEY STAY!) next to a pile of gaming books that I’ll be letting go. So, if there’s something of mine you’ve coveted, this could be your lucky day! The idea is to have some sort of giveaway or set up an “Give me a few bucks if you want, otherwise take it from my house!” event. RPG books, some bits of LARP kit and DVD’s will likely be the first up for the chop.

i got a free month of Amazon Prime and have been binging Vox Machina, which has been a joy. In news that will surprise no-one who knows me, Grog and Scanlan continue to be my favourites, and the character development they’ve gone through has been emotional and hilarious. Grog’s cry of “I GOT A BEARD!” brings joy, as does damn near every time Scanlan sings. Also, I get to continue my game of “I recognise that voice!” When that’s done, the plan is to shift over to the final season of Lower Decks. I’m really gonna miss that show.

Speaking of LARP, I was attempting to distract myself from the heat on Tuesday and had thoughts about a pirate based game again. Mostly pillaging from Hoist the Colours plot wise, the last survivors of a mighty pirate horde wash up on a lost island and have to figure out what to do next. That or, several ships wash up on the same island, but different locations. Each crew has something the other wants (Powder, map fragments, water, etc) and have to decide how to proceed. Shenanigans ensue. Yes, I started listening to Larps and Tarps coverage of Hoist again, but they bring joy and I need that right now.

It’s past 1am and I have plans to people tomorrow. Bedtime now. Take care of each other. Night all.

* I don’t have a notebook problem. There are notebooks I don’t own, so I’m fine.

Convention recap time!

So, my last two weekends have been at gaming based conventions – the first, playing at Phenomenon, the second, working a booth at PAX Australia. Therefore, it’s recap time!

Pheno continues to be a delight, both in terms of the people there and the quality of games. They went the gamut from an alien beauty contest, at which I was a very stressed intern, to a new Persephone (Damn intense game, but I expect nothing less from the GM team) to an Orcish drummer. There was an inter species relationship (I was a werewolf, he was a vampire), mostly to spite her father. Also, it was a fake, to disguise the actual relationship I’d entered into late game. It made sense at the time. I even managed to come away with two player awards, which was lovely for my ego. (Though to be fair, I think I only managed that cause Niece couldn’t make it this year. Both her and my wife are tremendously skilled lumberjacks*) It’s always nice to have the recognition, to feel as if I was doing something right in the eyes of the GM, even if in both awards this year it was a team effort. For one game, a lot of political arguments, and my confusion at most of the table not realising I was referencing Raiders of the Lost Ark at one point, but we used our ultimate power to create the Scales of Equality, a magic item to even the odds, so to speak. The rich get poorer, and the poor get richer. Idealistic, I know, but it made sense in the game. The second was less a team effort, and more a 3/4’s of the team effort. I’ll explain.

The game was based around a group of Bards in a D&D setting, and the GM is well known for his love of the pun. So, when the music puns started to sing (About, oh, 2 and a half seconds into the game), we turned up the amps in response. Except for my wife, who spent most of the session head in her hands, horrified at what was unleashed. I have no defence, other than we felt entitled to return fire. There’s a reason her prize certificate said ‘For courage under fire’ after all. It’s not that I’m a regular user of the pun, but it’s possible I’ve listened to a few too many pun runs from The Bugle and something has infected me. At least, that’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it. Another highlight for me was speaking in Orcish for the first time IC – the character spoke broken Common, but intellectual Orcish, so going from “Me think you no say good” to “I say good fellow, might we settle this without any unnecessary violence?” in a proper RP accent, was delightful.

Only flaw in the con was my coming sick on the Sunday night, which marred my Monday with a lot of irritating coughing and concern about my health. Took the shine off the after party as well – between the coughs and the way my back was hurting from said coughing, it wasn’t as fun as they usually are. There was good news though, amidst the regular banter and debriefing. The good news being, I have an idea for next year, and it’s positively rational! But more about that later.

Turning to PAX, I got back from Pheno, slept the rest of the day, then the day after was on a flight to Melbourne that evening.. Setup, as always, is painful, but getting to talk to people about games can be wonderfully soothing. my abiding memory of the con being people’s faces experiencing the back cover blurb for Eat the Reich, which ranged from slack-jawed confusion at what the hell did I just read, to full blown “SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY!” Also, near every time I got to talk about it, I’d get the theme to The A-Team in my head. My only regrets, outside of not having more spending money (There was a LARP arming sword that was taunting me the entire con), was not seeing the Owlbear that I’d heard was at the Drachenfest booth. The dragons they had were lovely, but OWLBEAR! I did buy a very cute small plush one, my wife feels we’re on the way to a large collection. Overall, loud and exhausting, with rather overpriced food, but a lot of fun. Looking forward to next year.

Returning to the game idea. Some of my favourite moments as a GM have been when players added to the event, contributing ideas, noodle incidents or bits of canon. It’s a wonderful feeling when players add stuff, even if it’s a better idea than what I had, makes me feel like they’re getting into the spirit of things. I’ve had no small amount of them, ranging from “Was it the Mole-men?” to “We need to drive faster. Somebody give the engine a sandwich.” So, what about a game based on that premise and built on action movie logic? A game that uses a system I’ve not run before, like Feng Shui? *drum roll* Oh yes, that’s exactly the plan.

The idea is simple: it’s the third film in an action movie trilogy, an Expendables-esque** combination of explosions, quips and 10 thousand rounds per 10 round magazine. There’s existing PC relationships, old comrades, grudging team mates and a romance or two, if they have the guts to admit they care about each other. Good drama. At least, I hope. The twist is, the events of the previous 2 films, any Disney+ spin offs or ill advised prequels etc, are determined during play each session. How they met the villain, how much property damage was done in his capture and the full horror of his dastardly world conquering scheme, it’s player driven. I like the idea of getting their input, of making every session really different. Haven’t gotten much further, but there’s a lot of thoughts. Do I set a guideline for what style of event people want at the start? For example, we have three settings:
1: Relatively gritty.
2: 80’s Arnie.
3: Utterly bat-shit insane.

That seems like a good idea, but I know how tired I get near the end of a con, and things get extra whacky no matter what. I’ve had a couple of people say they’d like to request my last session, to see what sort of insanity they can cook up when I’m near exhaustion. That also goes for the setting – did you encounter the villain when he murdered your brother in an underground fighting tournament, or when you fell through a dimensional portal and found yourselves punching Mordred in King Arthur’s court? It’ll certainly test my GM improv skills and not confusing relationships in each session to session could be a nightmare, but I’m liking the idea. Character ideas are coming, and the research… I really should have watched The Old Guard sooner, but that’s led me down a “I need more Charlize Theron kicking ass in my life” path, which has meant I’m finally watching the Fast and the Furious films. I’d be lying if I thought they started well, but I’m up to Furious 6, having skipped Tokyo Drift, and the more over the top they’ve gotten, the more I’m enjoying them. Still early stage enthusiasm, but I’m hoping to hang onto that for as long as I can, so I’m ready to pitch next year. Feels good to have an idea again. Feels real good.

Lastly, Ravenswood have announced another event for neat year, which means I should probably do some more work on the NPC sports teacher idea I had after the last event. *commences idle googling for props and costume*

Be seeing you…

* A piece of slang from the old times, when convention trophies were blocks of wood.
** Let’s be fair here: it may start as The Expendables, but we all know within about 30 seconds it’ll become Hot Shots Part Deux and I’m OK with that.

“They drew first blood, not me.”

(A Nerf War scenario loosely inspired by Carl Purcell. Blame him for this)

A lone PATRIOTIC AMERICAN, who just wants to be left alone, has been pushed beyond his limits by a bunch of REDNECK COPS (Including a young Horatio *sunglasses* Caine) and escaped into the woods. The police are now searching for him in increasing numbers.All he wants is to be left alone, but they kept pushing. NOTHING IS OVER.Because YOU JUST DON’T TURN IT OFF!
OUR HERO starts at one end of the map, equipped only with a LARGE AND MANLY KNIFE, a total lack of sleeves and an occasionally understandable accent. The REDNECK COPS start at the corners of the other side and carry a series of Nerf blasters and ammunition. OUR HERO has to escape, the COPS have to take him down. What they don’t know is, he’s about to give them A WAR THEY WON’T BELIEVE!
rambo_-first-blood-part-ii-screenshot
OUR HERO’S job is to evade or incapacitate the COPS, making to the exit point on the other side of the map. He can take 5 hits from Nerf darts before being taken out, representing his natural AMERICAN SUPERIORITY. He can heal those only with a suitably ABSURD GESTURE, such as pretending to heat a knife to cauterize a wound, but with an especially loud and painful sounding yell. That should take at least 30 seconds in preparation and at least 10 seconds of shouting. The COPS can take 2 hits each and can assist each other in healing (Pretending to wrap bandages around each others wounds etc), which takes 30 seconds.
OUR HERO can also prepare traps (pool noodle punji sticks,hidden bubble wrap representing pit traps etc) from supplies left around the map. To extend the scenario, the COPS can respawn back in their deployment zone while there’s an arms cache left somewhere on the map for OUR HERO to loot (Representing the local gun store). NOTE: You can’t shoot the gun store owner. Just saying.

Should OUR HERO escape, he is ready to embark on a series of increasingly silly and over the top sequels, culminating in him helping create a terrorist group (Awkward…). The COPS are doomed to a future in police procedural TV shows and internet memes.

Remember Sully, when I promised to kill you last? I lied.

A Nerf War scenario heavily inspired by the film Commando and the new Nerf Doomlands range written on my train trip to work this morning.

There is 1 player per run: OUR HERO. They are absurdly muscled, ALL-AMERICAN (Though frequently with foreign accents) and carry a vast amount of weapons and ammunition, possibly aided by strategic ammo drops throughout the play area. They are hunting down the BAD GUY, who carries a rifle or shotgun, and possibly a backup pistol if they’re a SNEAKY EVIL FOREIGNER, as they should be. They may also have a mustache to twirl or an outrageously offensive/inappropriate accent. They command a large force of GOONS, who carry 1 main weapon and whose job is to hurl themselves at OUR HERO and die as spectacularly as possible. The BAD GUY may also have a HEAD GOON, who carries a SIGNATURE WEAPON that deals double damage to OUR HERO.

Arnold-S-CommandoOUR HERO is all but invincible – weapon hits from goons will slow him down (Take a knee for 5 seconds, or be forced to take cover), but only hits from the BAD GUY or the HEAD GOON will actually hurt him. Both OUR HERO and the BAD GUY can take 3 hits, the HEAD GOON can take 2. GOONS can only take one hit, but can return to the battle after going to a re-spawn point.

g33uCfJOUR HERO is out for vengeance against the BAD GUY for an inexplicable reason or to rescue the PLUCKY SIDEKICK. The sidekick starts out in the BAD GUY lair and has just escaped. They may scavenge for weapons and ammo, or carry a single shot weapon with no more than 6 darts.

OUR HERO starts at one end of the play area, the BAD GUY, his HEAD GOON, GOONS and the PLUCKY SIDEKICK the other end of the area. RE-SPAWN POINTS for GOONS are marked on the map, there should be at least 1 on either side of the map. OUR HERO may choose from the range of weapons at the starting point, choosing what approach they are taking to the scenario. They may move through quietly as a PREDATOR or rain down RED HEAT on their foes like some sort of TERMINATOR. Either way, an arming montage is mandatory.

COMMANDO SCREEN SHOTEach run last for 10 minutes, or until OUR HERO either A: kills the BAD GUY or B: rescues the PLUCKY SIDEKICK and escapes back to the starting point, thus preserving the BAD GUY for the inevitable sequel.

OUR HERO is identified by a red headband (RED IS AMERICAN AND NOT AT ALL COMMUNIST) and the PLUCKY SIDEKICK by a white armband. The BAD GUY wears a distinctive item of clothing, the HEAD GOON a black armband, and the GOONS wear green armbands.

So. needs work, but not bad for a train trip. Thoughts?

I almost killed someone with a greased up wolf.

That’s not as strange as it sounds. Actually, in the world of Dungeons and Dragons it’s positively normal. But it’s still not something I say every day.

How did this happen? It’s simple: take one angry Bugbear and his pet wolf, add a well-placed Grease spell and an open flame and it’s finger licking good time. Mind you, one of the PC’s attempts to murder the wolf got them almost killed, and I would have come close with another had I not rolled snake eyes on the Bugbears damage roll. 2D8 + 2 damage and I roll double 1’s… (Those who’ve gamed with me before know that sort of thing is standard for my dice rolling, as one of my players commented gleefully “It’s great that Gav’s our DM, cause he sucks at dice rolling!” Said player is my wife.)

How did that happen? Well, it’s mostly the fault of the board game Lords of Waterdeep, I’ve been playing it a lot and when combined with the recent release of the 5th Edition of Dungeons and Dragons, this gave me the urge to run it. (I’m still hoping to win another game of Waterdeep someday). Now armed with the Starter Set (Provided by one of my players), I set forth on this mighty quest!

Anyhow, I thought I’d document my group’s adventures, both to tell help their story and to help me remember what they’ve been doing when the next part of the adventure rolls around. (Before my players complain, any inaccuracies are my fault and mine alone)

The party consists of:

Syllian Ilphekir, High Elf Wizard

Lidda Greenbottle, Halfling Rogue

Chester Mansfield, Human Fighter

Cariel Corlinn, Human Fighter

Finellen Rockseeker, Dwarven Cleric

Having been asked by their friend and patron Gundren Rockseeker to escort a wagonload of supplies from the city of Neverwinter to the town of Phandalin (For the princely sum of 10 Gold Pieces each!), they found their patrons horses dead on the road and were swiftly attacked by Goblin bandits. Easily disposing of them, they followed the Goblin’s trail, encountering first a snare trap (Which Lidda set off while attempting to disable) and a pit trap (Which almost all of the party fell into while trying to jump over) Continuing further down the trail, they found a mysterious cave and decided to investigate, as all proper adventurers do.

What followed included: setting part of the countryside on fire to flush out some Goblins from cover, an attempt to placate three chained up wolves almost resulting in death for Chester, Cariels quite spectacular climbing and jumping career almost coming to an end, Finellen doing a spectacular power slide between a pair of Goblins, a hand axe in each fist and an innovative negotiation technique involving the severed head of the Bugbear and a frankly insultingly small ransom offer.

Goblins were murdered (Some were left alive though – hello recurring nemesis!), treasure was looted (Not enough for the party’s liking), Gundren’s warrior friend Sildar Hallwinter was rescued and it was discovered that the Goblins were working for a mysterious being known only as… the Black Spider! [DUN DUN DUNH!] With the Goblin’s hideout (mostly) cleared, the party are now set to resume their journey to Phandalin. If only they knew what lurks there… [MANIACAL LAUGH]

We’ll hopefully be resuming in a few weeks to continue, where some of the many questions may be answered. Questions like is Gundren Rockseeker still alive? Where is this Cragmaw Castle the Goblins mentioned? And who is the Black Spider? Stay tuned to find out!