Many Bothans died, to bring us this trailer.

So, the Rogue One trailer. Leaving aside my burning hatred for teasers for trailers, or two minute trailers with 25 seconds of that taken up by rating info and stuff for other videos on the channel, it looks pretty damn good.

HELL YES MON MOTHMA – SUCK IT MRA’S AND SUCK IT HARD.

A female lead with a good amount of non-white people in the main cast, nice to see.

It’ll be slightly odd to have a definitive story of how the Death Star plans were stolen, given how many different stories and versions of it in the old EU.

Very little spoilery material, even better. One of the things I enjoyed the most about The Force Awakens was how little I knew going into it, a refreshing feeling in this day and age of leaks and endless teaser clips.
Seeing Yavin Base and T-65B X-Wings again – *swoon*

I’m sure the 501st are already going nuts over Ben Mendlheson’s outfit, whic is fair as that’s a rocking cape. That cape rocks so much I’m pretty sure Lando is jealous.

No Bothans though. Boooo. Also, would a nod to Kyle Katarn kill you? (Yes, I know the Bothans helped steal the plans to the second Death Star, but still. Seeing one on screen would be nice, at some point. Damn human-centric movies.)

Could have done without the nostalgia piano at the end, but I understand that’s the hip thing at the moment. Damn kids.
Part of me does think it’s going a bit dark, or at least Star Wars dark, but we’ve had that and it worked out OK, so yeah. Besides, I’m cool with them experimenting

Roll on December.

Pirates!

Out on the endless ocean
We tear along the gales
With rum inside our bellies warm
And freedom in our sails

A wayward bunch of scoundrels
Assassins, thieves and slaves
The rich and blue bloods fear us when
We hunt upon the waves

Beneath the Black Flag – Miracle of Sound

So, thanks to a discovery recently, I’ve had a thought about running a pirate LARP. Mostly owing to Ian Sturrock, a British game writer, whose bio mentioned he’d run a game called Cutlass Island (described as a cross between It’s a Knockout and Pirates of the Caribbean), which has to be one of the greatest ideas known to mankind. Sliced bread? BAH!

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So, the ship has been sunk (By storm, battle, or kraken) and the survivors struggle to shore, dragging what weapons and supplies they can, and must now decide what to do. That was the basic idea, closely followed by the possibility of running it on a beach somewhere for that extra bit of atmosphere. Finding a good location is a start, preferably free of civilians and with a fire pit or two nearby, though having gamed on public beaches before it’s not an insurmountable hurdle. (I’m still curious to know what that fisherman must have thought of the group of heavily armed crusaders walking down to the beach during the first St Wolfgang’s Vampire Hunters.)

Do they elect a new captain, break into petty recriminations or just get roaring drunk? Are there survivors from other ships, leading into an uneasy alliance for survival? Or are the others plotting to wait till they sleep and cut their throats? Paranoia’s always a fun tool in a GM’s arsenal, with the occasional glimpse of something through the trees, or sentry’s being picked off unawares. (During St Wolfgang’s we didn’t spot the first vampire till near midnight, which only made the wait more maddening) Players don’t necessarily have to play pirates or sailors, they could be merchants, travellers, apprentice sorcerers or any sort of character with a reasonable excuse to be at sea.

Alestorm

Could there be food and fresh water inland? It’s possible. There could also be mysterious natives from an aeon’s old civilisation, escaped slaves desperate to escape or degenerate cannibals. There could be survivors of other wrecks desperate to escape or other horrifying monsters. It could even be the legendary island of the scantily clad nymphomaniacs where the rivers flow with wine, but you aren’t that lucky are you? Does someone have a map (Maybe even one not written on human skin), heard rumours in a tavern or have you delved into the iron-bound books of Vathelos the Blind in search of hints of what grisly fate awaits you here? Or is it just wrong place, wrong time?

I’m not interested in debating rule’s systems at the moment. All I do know is I’d prefer to keep things as rules light as possible, which brings to mind the ruleset used for Hyborian Tales. Perhaps an adaption of Barbarians of Lemuria (A system I adore), the career stytem fits well. Weapons would be LARP safe, possibly with Nerf bows and crossbows mixed in. Alternatively, it could come down to card draws or rock paper scissors for combat, but I really enjoy live combat, so that’s not my preferred approach. Could be put to a vote of prospective players. Moving along…

Capture-of-Blackbeard

As for what setting, well, that’s another matter. I don’t know Seventh Sea (Though I really should) or Mage: The Sorcerer’s Crusade, which at the moment leaves A: the real world, or at least a modified version of such (Possibly adding voodoo and other sorcery, such as from Green Ronin’s Skull and Bones campaign setting) or B: Conan. Real world is easily identifiable (And easier to costume), but runs the risk of descending into cliché. I can’t throw stones at that, as most of my previous games were powered by them, but I’d like to have more than people yell “Arrr” at each other for several hours. A bit more historical murderous savages, rather than the sanitised movie version. (This would mean warning players beforehand and having spare crew roles for dead PC’s as well)

Then, Conan. It’s a setting I adore, being a huge fan of the original stories and where no shortage of piratical shenanigans can be had (In his time Conan sailed with all 4 of the Hyborian Age’s major pirate bands), along with oceans over flowing with lost islands stuffed full of monsters and loot that’s worth the ransom of kings. There’s an eternal enmity between the Barachan Pirates and the Zingaran Freebooters, while the Red Brotherhood of the Vilayet Sea plunder the Turanian galleys, striking back at those that held them as slaves. The last major pirate group of the setting is the Black Corsairs of the Southern Islands, from whom Belit, the Queen of the Black Coast emerged to sweep the coast with fire and sword. I’d be most likely to set a game on the western oceans, which also leaves open the Picts (The Picts of the Conan saga were more like American Indians rather than the proto-Scots of Howards Bran Mak Morn tales) and if we go really far North, the Vanir (Read Vikings). Either way, the chance of hell or plunder is a good one.

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There were some seventy of them, a wild horde made up of men from many nations: Kothians, Zamorians, Brythunians, Corinthians, Shemites. Their features reflected the wildness of their natures. Many bore the scars of the lash or the branding-iron. There were cropped ears, slit noses, gaping eye-sockets, stumps of wrists—marks of the hangman as well as scars of battle. Most of them were half naked, but the garments they wore were fine; gold-braided jackets, satin girdles, silken breeches, tattered, stained with tar and blood, vied with pieces of silver- chased armour. Jewels glittered in nose-rings and earrings, and in the hilts of their daggers.

Robert E Howard – Iron Shadows on the Moon

The main method of advancement among crews is simple and to the point – have the support of enough of the crew, then kill the captain in a fair fight and you’re sweet. But, how can you can be sure of their support? Have you led them to enough loot, or are they drunk enough? Or are you just going to have them all killed ‘accidentally’ and thuse leave yourself with a larger share of the loot?

I guess the only other thing to work out at the moment is what they’re going to do outside that – what’s the final goal for the adventure? Survive? Make it through the night, or to another ship? Or find the horrific monstrosity guarding the treasure at the heart of the island and kill it? Or a combination of all three? *ponders*

Things.

You know, things and stuff. I’m procrastinating about writing something, so naturally I’m going to write about something else.

Things I Like:

The all female Ghostbusters reboot. Yeah, I said it. (I’m also OK with Johnny Storm being black in the recent Fantastic Four film.) This really shouldn’t be an issue, but that’s nerds for you.

Andrew P Street’s writing for the Sydney Morning Herald. If you’ve not been reading his column (It appears on the website Sunday through Thursday), this this piece (Written in the wake of last November’s attacks in Paris) is the place to start.

Star Wars: Episode 8 starting production. 34 seconds of footage should not make me so happy. Furthermore, the mid season trailer for Star Wars: Rebels which kept upping the awesome factor. A Sith Holocron! Yoda! “Call me Old Master…” VADER. *Tingles*

That there’s a new Conan RPG being Kickstarted. It’s taken a lot of willpower not to go “SHUT UP BY CROM AND TAKE MY MONEY!” That and the fact it’s a system where the To-Hit check is rolling low. Given my luck with dice, I CAN’T FAIL.

The score to Highlander. Not the Queen score mind you, which is fantastic, but Michael Kamen’s orchestral work. Listen to this and tell me you don’t want to stand on a mist enshrouded mountain holding a huge sword and striking a pose. You can’t can you?

Things I Dislike:

The comments. Yeah, there’s a shock.

The lack of Book 3 of The Kingkiller Chronicles. Though as much as I may complain, I’m happy for Patrick Rothfuss to write at his own pace. If that means we get a less stressed author and a better book, I’m OK with that. (I also feel the same way about the next instalments of A Song of Ice and Fire, Peter Grant and Locke Lamora .)

My latest con game. I’m not grumbling about that, I enjoy writing them, more the research. You see, the PC’s in this one are Fox News anchors, and that means actually having to watch that diabolical channel. *shudders* This dirt, it won’t come off…

No shortage of other things. It’s perfectly summed up in a First Dog on the Moon shirt, specifically this one. I haven’t seen a piece of clothing that so summed me up in well, ever.

The fact that I just realised I’ve not used Mark Sheppard as an NPC in any of my games. Sure, most of mine of late have been historical swashbucklers, but still, that’s an oversight I need to correct. Also, I now want to watch Leverage again and DAMNIT TOO MANY SHOWS NOT ENOUGH TIME. *sigh*

There’s 2 kinds of people in the world my friend…

Tonight’s Deadlands session, a brief recap. Also, an illustrative lesson in why dice hate me.

We’ve gone to burn out some cultists (Who’ve been sacrificing to a fertilty demon in the wheat fields). After some Anarchist Shandy’s (AKA molotov cocktails) have been thrown and those of us who’ve failed haven’t set ourselves on fire, the cultists rush at us.My Huckster decides to cast a couple of bolts at them, and boosts the damage. Since it’s an expensive spell, I decide to Deal with the Devil for the points. It does… not go well.

Out comes the Backlash table, which results in the spell doing damage to me.That takes off my right arm in the magical explosion (Sadly no green flame), and the next round I fail my save and die. On the bright side, it took the 2 cultists with me, with the only other casualty being my horse. I also fail the card draw to have my character return as Harrowed, which is a mixed blessing. That’s an improvement, which the players in my 4th Ed game can tell you about. Jokes about how the explosive cards fell back down my sleeve follow, many of them made by me.

So, I’m currently deciding between a martial artist (Because their powers don’t cause backlash and The Warriors Way is a fantastic film) or gunslinger for my next character, and not at all cause I now have Bon Jovi’s Wanted Dead or Alive stuck in my head.

There has been an awakening…

For those of you patiently awaiting my thoughts on Star Wars: The Force Awakens, you’re in luck. There be spoilers, so you’ve been warned.

Now, numerous other folks will have done long in-depth reviews, having first spent hour’s trawling through rumours and speculation. I don’t have that level of patience and was trying to avoid spoilers beforehand, so I’ve chosen to split this up Sergio Leone style and talk though things by category – The Good, The Bad and The Ugly.

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Where do I start? Whoever was responsible for the trailers deserves have their work analyzed for decades to come. A near perfect mix of nostalgia and new, they also told us virtually nothing about the film, a rare feat in this day and age. (See The Phantom Menace trailer which all but told you in GIANT LETTERS Qui-Gon was going to die) I was going to be seeing the film regardless, but trailers of that quality only increased the antici…pation. After all, Revenge of the Sith was over 10 years ago, and while the animated series The Clone Wars and Rebels have helped to wash away the bad taste of the prequels, the film still had it’s work cut out for it to be accepted along the classic trilogy. There’s some issues, but it more than succeeds as far as I’m concerned.

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Note to trailer editors: leave this sort of shit out of it please.

The big question to get out of the way is “Is it a good film?” The answer to that is a resounding yes. Sure, it’s not as good as Mad Max Fury Road, but that was ALL SHINY AND CHROME, erm I mean bloody phenomenal. It looks and feels like Star Wars again, with the coldness of the First Order’s military contrasting with the battered and worn feel, of well, almost everything else. See also: the increased amount of practical effects and actual sets instead of a couple of couches and a green screen.

And Carrie Fisher is taking none of your shit. NONE.

BB-8. Everything BB-8 was glorious and I want ALL THE MERCHANDISE EVER. Well, maybe not all of it, but he was definitely the standout. I’m still chuckling over the thumbs up moment.

The Stormtroopers are threatening again. This, this is a big thing, as over the years they’ve become a running joke alongside Red Shirts. I might be happier if the show of force didn’t happen to be massacring innocent villager’s as I’ve always been squeamish about that sort of thing.

The first sight of the Falcon, closely followed by Han and Chewie’s homecoming. Yeah, the mention of a piece of junk should have given things away, but it still made me giddy. I might have also shed a few years of joy DON’T JUDGE ME.

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I’m sorry, I can’t hear you over the sound of how awesome I am.

The lightsaber work. Yeah, only 3 people wield one, so it’s not exactly chock full of them. And yes, one of them is half trained (And spends more time smashing up walls rather than duelling) while the other two (one of whom has military training and the other has more experience with staffs) have never held one before, but this has the side effect of cutting out a lot of the spinny flippy stuff from the prequels. It gave way to a more, dare I say it, grounded form of swordplay. And yes, I like the cross guard lightsaber (The long sword was always my preferred weapon). It’s about damn time someone in the that universe does something to protect their hands, even if they do need OHS more. Seriously, a tiny walkway without hand rails over a nigh bottomless pit that’s burning with the power of a sun? I’ve not seen health and safety violations that grievous since Erebor in the Hobbit films.

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Hey kiddies, that’s what quillions are for!

The fact that I have (so many) unanswered questions is something else that brings me great joy. Io9 has a long and updated list of them, with my thoughts centred on how did Maz get Luke’s lightsaber (I did love the ‘I’ll explain later’ approach to it) and how did the political situation evolve from the end of Return of the Jedi? Some might say it ruins the happy ending of that film and to an extent you’d be right, but there has to be conflict to help breed drama, otherwise you wind up with S1 of Star Trek: The Next Generation. It’s got me wanting to read the novels again, an achievement after the Yuuzhan Vong saga.

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I don’t want to call it bad, but the soundtrack seemed to be lacking something. It’s John Williams, so it’s far from bad, but was lacking that big epic track, like an Imperial March. Even the prequels, for all their flaws gave us Duel of the Fates and Battle of the Heroes, both wonderful pieces. The second time round I was noticing more the re-use of old themes, notably Han and Leia’s and the Force themes. It fits in with the nostalgic feel to the film, but it also means it doesn’t stand on it’s own. Maybe a few more listens will help though.

Some have said that’s overly reliant on plot points from earlier films and to an extent they’re right (What, you say there’s a nigh invincible planet killing super weapon we have to destroy by flying down a small trench? Must be Tuesday.) I can’t fault Abrams and co for doing so though – you need enough familiar elements to bring in the old guard, while hopefully keeping them coming back for the next one. (Based on the box office, they managed that one handily.) Also, the First Order basically worship the Empire and what did they do? Build increasingly impractical super weapons!

“And now it’s springtime for Hitler, and Palpatine…”

You could also say it’s strung along by nostalgia, with a familiar face popping up every little while to remind you of the movies you loved as a child. That’s not a complaint from me, as it was done well. There was enough nods (Both overt and otherwise) to keep the fans happy, but most importantly if you didn’t know them it didn’t matter one bit. It’s got that in common with the new series of Doctor Who, which has done a wonderful job at nostalgia without tying things up in pointless continuity references (As it did in the 80’s). Also see Attack of the Clones, which put virtually everything you ever wanted in a Star Wars film (Boba Fett! The Clone Wars! Christopher Lee!), but did it really, really badly.

For all the build-up before the film Captain Phasma sure didn’t get to do much. Heck, the speed with which she relented and dropped the shields led to a theory she’s actually working for the Resistance as a double agent. Mind you, being confronted by an angry Wookiee would certainly impact your views. Either way, I believe she’s been confirmed to reappear in Episode 8, so we shall see. Regardless, the armour looked great and I’m sure the 501st are salivating over the costuming opportunities presented. The First Order do continue the long-time trend of bad guys having the snappiest uniforms)

RIDE TO VALHALLA ALL SHINY AND CHROME!

Most of my other complaints, as they are, centre around the series of increasingly useful coincidences. Such as, R2D2 has spent how many years on low power while people try to avoid tripping into him or using him as a doorstop? How exactly does Poe manage to get off Jakku after earlier ejecting from the TIE Fighter? It’s not that they detract from the film (Like counting ammunition in a Schwarzenegger film), but looking back on it they could have been explained better. Oh well, that’s probably more fodder for the deleted scenes on the Blu-Ray.

TGTBTU-Tuco

Well, we had to mention it sooner or later. I’m fairly certain you know the moment I’m talking about. Damn. I should have known the moment was coming (It certainly explains how cheerful Harrison Ford has been on the promotional trail), but that still hurt, hard. And to top it all off, his last waking action is to caress the face of his son. Excuse me a second. WHO’S CUTTING ALL THOSE FUCKING ONIONS HERE? Right, back now, It worked for the story, and it was wonderfully executed. There’s that brief moment when you think it’s all going to work out and have a tiny bit of optimism, and then BOOM. And that’s another icon of my childhood gone. Coming in the same year in which we lost Leonard Nimoy, Terry Pratchett, Phil ‘Philthy Animal’ Taylor and Lemmy Kilmister, it’s been a shit year. Yes, Han’s a fictional character, but I’ve known him for longer (So to speak) than many of my relatives. I realize that’s an incredibly harsh thing to say, but these are relatives I’ve seen once or twice since I was 6 so, all things considered… Look, it still hurts, I’m allowed to be irrational.

Also, I really want that jacket. Preferably in black, but I’ll take brown.

So, to end things. Is it perfect? No. But let’s face it, it was never going to be. But it’s still a damn good film worthy of your time and money. I give it 4 planet destroying super weapons out of 5.

God is dead.

Lemmy Kilmister – 1945 – 2015

There are very few people in this world that could get me to purchase alcohol, even if only for the purpose if pouring it out in salute. Lemmy was one of those people.

This should be a time to celebrate his life, not mourn his passing. To talk about the good times, share fond memories and swap stories of his deeds and I hope to do that in the days to come. The one I still chuckle at was the one about his plan to change his blood, based on a story about Keith Richards doing the same, in order to help detox or some such. The doctor apparently took a sample, did some tests and listened to Lem detail his lifestyle, then shook his head, saying “Fresh blood will probably kill you!”

We all knew the day would come, as much as we liked to joke about his immortality (The common line being ‘The only things left after the bomb will be cockroaches, Lemmy and Keith Richards’). But that doesn’t ease the sting of the news. Goodbye Lemmy, and thank you. Your music shall be played long and loud.

Episode 7

I have seen it.

I will say no more for the time being other than A: seeing a Star Wars film without the Twentieth Century Fox fanfare is really frickin’ weird and B: John Williams retains the ability to yank at my heartstrings like no other composer.

Going down to Zedtown

(Disclaimer: the following is written entirely from my point of view. Any and all inaccuracies, misconceptions and typos are mine.)

Rumours swirl of dark events in the city. The CDCP have set up quarantine zones throughout the area, but are denying anything is wrong. Whispers speak of the walking dead and other, darker, creatures. The Apocalypse has come, but will you survive the night? Gather your comrades and load your weapons amigo, and welcome to Zedtown.

Zedtown is an 850 player zombie apocalypse Nerf war that ran at Sydney Olympic Park last Sunday. Basically, it’s a giant game of tag played by adults with toy dart blasters. The basics are as follows: if you shoot a zombie, they have to return to re-spawn. If a zombie tags you, you become one of them. Simple. That’s really all you need to know, though being able to engage the following helps:

Your inner 10 year old.
Your inner paranoid maniac.
The feeling of machismo you get when sugared up and watching 80’s action movies.

At the start of the game, the humans are split into 3 factions (Red, Yellow and Blue), with a small number of zombies released about 20 minutes in.There’s also 3 special zombies, known as Original Zombies, or OZ for short. The OZ’s are special in that they’re in disguise, resembling normal human survivors, and from 5 minutes in can start tagging them and turning them into zombies. This results in Cold War levels of paranoia, with a frantic race to try to identify them being one of the few things that the factions will work together as one to complete. The squad I’d joined up with (Not knowing any other players in my faction) kept weapons trained on me for most of the opening hour (To be honest, I can’t blame them), with a joke from another player almost leading to shots being fired. Nerves were starting to fray early. This event had introduced survivor vs survivor fire, which seemed to work well, despite some complaints leading up to it. (Basically, if you got shot by another human, you had to go back to your faction’s base to respawn.) It added an extra element of ‘Humans are dicks and will fuck each other over happily!’ when the sensible response is to combine forces and fight as one. Maybe next event…

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The pre game briefing, shortly before all hell broke loose.

I’m now horribly tempted to sign up as an OZ for a future event and keep myself hidden until about an hour to go. Rest assured I’m not actually going to, cause that shit takes effort and I have a horrible poker face (Seriously, I’m an awful gambler – even in video games). But the looks on people’s faces if you could pull that off would be magnificent.)

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Who else would you trust to save the planet?

Other random moments of awesome: Incredibly Shouty Guy and his slightly quieter counterpart, Slightly Less Shouty Guy Who’d Lost His Voice. The incredibly efficient Russians and Red Berets. Walking with a horde of zombiers to the last enclave of survivors chanting “ONE OF US!” The observation from a squad member that the factional conflict is showing us how racism works (We hadn’t met them and already hated Blue and Yellow) and discussing whether hiking up my kilt at zombies would break the rules (Yes, I was wearing underpants. I don’t kilt up without them, no matter how much my wife complains) The Holly Jolly Christmas Squad (Who attended the previous game dressed as the Brides from Mad Max: Fury Road), and the dancing zombie with a speaker on his back (I’m guessing in homage to Doof Zombie from the last event who apparently had thrown his back out and couldn’t attend). Escorting a zombie close to our base who claimed to want to talk peace. It was an interesting idea (Leaving aside the whole ‘zombies wanting peace thing’ which was pretty bloody weird), but an NPC corporate exec shot him, so that idea went down the gurgler pretty quick. And at some point I’ll make it out to investigate the bar that’s hidden somewhere in the play area.

Survivors, strut!

FUN FACT: We also discovered that yelling “WOAH” repeatedly and randomly pointing guns at people is an impressive distraction tactic.

At first, the zombies are seen in small groups, and a group of survivors who don’t panic can deal with them without too much trouble. There’s also the Witch, a fearsome creature considered unkillable (Rumours persisted she could be pacified with sugar, with our faction being issued with fun size Snickers bars just in case). Initially restrained by the CDCP (You could go visit the cage she was in!), she broke free about halfway through the day and roamed the grounds, a terrifying scream announcing her presence. She swiftly became an object of such fear that large groups of players would simply run rather than confront her, which worked wonderfully. Case in point: late in the game (After I’d become a zombie) we were pursuing a large group of players who’d formed a defensive line. It was Mexican standoff time and all we needed was the guy who’d been whistling the theme to ‘The Good, the Bad and the Ugly’ to turn up to help soundtrack things. Then one of our group screamed and the players (Who had been looking rather cocky up till that point) broke and ran immediately. Causing fear is a wonderful thing.

The CDCP and their… creation.

It’s when the numbers start getting higher (And they do) that things start to tip in the zombies favour. Watching the survivor count, or the faces of other players, drop when the count is announced get’s tense. In fact, it’s remarkable easy to buy into the whole experience – at a certain point it stops being a game and turns into a desperate life or death struggle, albeit one that we all survive. And that’s even before it got dark, which amped up the paranoia even further. Walking through the stadium watching over the group planting beacons, then hearing the zombies scream over the other side was a real “oh, bugger” moment. It was shortly after that when I got tagged, while hiding behind a fence. I was a bit miffed, but I’d laster till nightfall, much farther than I’d expected to get, so I was well chuffed.

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In all fairness, if you thought she was coming round the corner, you’d run too.

FUN FACT: Cowardice and unfitness is a remarkably useful survival strategy! Not a good or efficient one, but it worked well for me.

From 850 survivors at the start, only 13 brave and lucky souls made it out to be evacuated. A mere 13. Around 48 made it out of the last event, and that only had 700 players. The Blue and Yellow bases both fell relatively early (I believe it was still light – I didn’t spend much time at Blue), and there seemed to be a last stand late at the Red base, but I was walking back to the re-spawn area and missed it. It was a glorious day, albeit one that my legs are still complaining about.

Looking to survive the next event? Here’s some tips that may help you!*

Comfortable footwear. I can’t stress this enough. Comfy shoes are a must, even before weapons. You can make it through the day with minimal firepower, but you still need to be able to move.
Bathrooms. Shelter is useful, as are comrades who’ll watch your back. But knowing a safe spot to pee is incredibly useful. Even more so when you badly need to and realize the closest toilet is in enemy territory.
Comfortable costume. It will be hot, you will be running. Being decked out in masses of camo gear may feel awesome, but there’s no point in wearing it if you’re going to melt. I can’t throw stones though, as I (For reasons unknown but I’m claiming awesome) decided to wear a kilt. Why? Breeze. Breeze is good.
Stake out sources of water and food. Ideally, you’ll have a bottle of water (Which you’ll need) and some snacks in a back pack, but more never hurts. Don’t forget though: the zombies also know this.

As for weapons, there’s two main schools of thought on this. The first is pack a pistol, maybe a small rifle and go lightly armed, relying on stealth, speed and cunning. The second is to tool up with the largest most intimidating blaster you can find, carry enough ammo to last you through a small war (Or a Schwarzenegger film) and spend the day quoting Jesse Ventura from Predator. Both schools of thought have their adherents and it’s not up to me to pass judgement. I prefer to run lightly armed myself, mainly because I’m lazy and unfit and prefer to have less stuff to carry to and from the event. Whatever works for you and, more importantly, let’s you feel like the lead in your own action movie.

There’s no word on the next event, but I’m itching for it. One of the housemates and I are planning to costume like we’re in a spaghetti western. Between us we should be able to handle a fistful of zombies…

NOTE: All photos were taken from the Zedtown Facebook page.

*Tips may not actually help. I claim no responsibility if my advice get’s you tagged in the first 30 minutes.

On workplace decorum

Things I have almost yelled at work: “Hey, it’s Bargearse!”

The long version: a recent promo for Brooklyn Nine-Nine used the theme from Bargearse and it took a lot of willpower not to call attention to it, at volume. However, given the A: age and B: comedic taste of my coworkers, I elected not to. Probably for the best that.

For those unfamiliar with early 90’s ABC comedy shows, here’s the saga in all it’s flatulent glory:

Bond, James Bond…

Musing recently about the lack of an Assassin’s Creed style James Bond game (How has this not been done already?), the thought, as my brain frequently does, turned to LARP. What followed was a couple of minutes of brainstorming with a housemate and a train ride or two of writing.

1: SPECTRE

It’s that time of year when Number 1 summons all of SPECTRE’s top brass for the annual meeting. Sadly, owing to the activities of a certain British secret agent who shall remain nameless (*cough* Danger Mouse! *cough*), things aren’t looking too good. Can you wheedle enough cash/resources/favours out of the other top brass in time to please Number 1? Perhaps you’ve been skimming and need to get some fast cash, dislike another boss enough to frame them to want to move up the pecking order or are you just James Bond in disguise?

So, what sort of shenanigans can SPECTRE’s top brass get into before Number 1 show’s up? Each member will have a different area of expertise (Smuggling, trafficking, extortion etc) and a certain amount of resources. Naturally, everyone is running short on something and everyone should have something the other wants. Oh, and evereyone hates each other. No honour among thieves after all.

2: PRE CREDIT’S SEQUENCE

Obviously/sadly most LARP’s won’t have the resources to build a lair in a hollowed out volcano, but the pre credits scene from Goldfinger, something resembling that is more doable. What follows is a 10-20 player NERF war scenario.

In short: M has ordered James Bond to blow up a SPECTRE facility, preferably without being detected. Runs should be from 10-20 minutes each (Depending on the venue size), with Bond’s player changing each time.

1 player is James Bond, everyone else is a SPECTRE mook. Bond must infiltrate the enemy base, plant the explosives and get out unseen. He has a silenced* pistol with 2 full loads of ammo, the explosives he needs (Set to a short timer), and his wits. His pistol will kill anything in one shot (No matter where it hits), but he has limited ammunition and probably be shouldn’t be pissing about trying to kill everyone he can when there’s women with sexual innuendo based names he could be trying to seduce. Priorities right?

The mooks start out unaware of Bond and wander the area at random. They can be taken out either with pistol fire, or by incapacitating them with either a tap on the shoulder (Simulating the Bond/Shatner/3^rd Doctor shoulder chop) or by wrapping something soft around their throat from behind – maybe crepe paper or a sock, this takes them down immediately. Bond’s player can drag them into cover if they wish (with the help of the knocked out player). Any mook dragged into a bush must hide and can give no information if found by other players.

The mooks all carry machine pistols (fly wheel guns, in order to distinguish themselves from Bond’s gun). There are several alarms bells scattered throughout the map, as well as the location that Bond has to set the explosives at, which will change with each run. (This is done to stop sneaky players noting where everything is in order to help themselves along.) All mooks will know where the alarms are– if the alarm bell is rung all mooks should head towards the alarm area.

(Whether or not Bonds player wants to wear a tux underneath their spy clothes isn’t necessary, but is highly encouraged.)

The difficulty could be boosted by adding more mooks, shortening the time or allowing them to make a loud gurgling sound when taken down. Alternatively, you could add a SPECTRE assassin stalking Bond (See the opening scenes of From Russia with Love), or another freakish henchman such as Oddjob or Jaws. I’ve not seen a LARP safe version of Oddjob’s hat, but I’m sure one could be worked up.

*Obviously we can’t fully silence a Nerf gun, but between the mooks having motorised guns and playing dumb, we should be able to represent it.

shoutybeardything

Category rambling