Author Archives: shoutybeardything

This one time, at Wizard camp…

No, we’re not going there, but the line was too good not to use.

So, I spent my weekend on the other side of the country pretending to be a wizard. It was a lot of fun and I’m going to talk about it. Before I do though, there’s been some lovely things happen recently, despite falling into my now traditional ‘extend the times between psych visits and immediately collapse mentally’ issues. I got a photo with the Great Maker at Supanova *and* he remembered me from being in the audience at his writing panel about 45 minutes beforehand. I get that I have a distinctive beard, or maybe it was the ‘Not the One’ shirt I was wearing but I’m still buzzing from that moment Furthermore, in what was the best $10 I’ve spent since I bought a housemate a pendant of a bloody guillotine, I entered a raffle and won a pair of lightsabers! They’re currently charging and I’m really looking forward to putting them through their paces. This might be the inducement towards finally doing some Star Wars cosplay, though I’d need a belt hook for them first.

Wait, that clip is *how many* years old? *crumbles to dust*

So, wizard school. No, nothing involved with the ‘TERF Who Shall Not Be Named’, outside of the counter spell ‘Copyrightus’, to be deployed if anything from that series was used. I spent more time doing research in the leadup listening to the Snake Boys from Smersh Pod talk through the movies and I’m still cackling over the ‘Nearly Cancelled Nick’ running gag. Mentally, it’s the traditional post event slow returning to reality and I’d expected that. On the bright side, I booked more time off work afterwards, and the rain during the event held off, as I’d been caught in heavy rain twice the previous day racing back to my hotel. The venue was nice, with a series of cabins/small houses so players and crew were all in groups. The players were split up into various styles – each did the same thing, but had a preferred style and theme – Physical, Nature, Mental, etc. We members of Physical House were bunking with the Meta-Magic folks and while jocks and nerds are naturally mortal enemies, we bonded swiftly. Main issues were the sand and dirt we tramped inside (As you all know, it’s coarse and irritating and get’s everywhere), followed by the cold. Yes, it’s winter, but there were times when I had to pee in the early morning and was desperately hanging on, hoping the temperature would rise. I was reminded of the listening to podcast about the event And Now My Watch Begins, where it snowed. Yes, the game was set on the Wall in Westeros so it was incredibly evocative, but still. Needless to say, the sleeping bag gifted by my in-laws recently came in incredibly handy.

Outside of the cold, the venue was solid. It was a good size, the dorm rooms weren’t too far away and didn’t feel like everyone was in sight, so you could plot nefariously out of sight. I was part of a group planning to summon a demon at one point (We had it’s true name, so could have banished it easily), but we ran out of time/couldn’t find the other conspiracy members when needed. Next time Gadget, next time… Moving on. the catering was welcome (I do like bread and sausages, though I understand they aren’t to everyone’s tastes) and well stocked. Food is good and they deserve more applause.

The event was split up into classes, with breaks between. Classes included spell casting (Which nearly went to hell owing to repeated attacks by undead creatures. Experience is one thing, but nearly getting students killed is another), wand making (Arts and crafts time!) and magical creatures (Cute puppets and more arts and crafts!). Classes went well, though I was hoping for more content in a couple of them. The afternoon was break time, for me mostly being nap time, before dinner and some more shenanigans, the main skirmish on Saturday night I accidentally missed owing to getting wound up in conversation and not hearing the main group of players. Whoops… There were several Fae on campus, though I’ll admit the two mushroom themed ones constantly starting dance parties did put me off somewhat. I am very much not a dance party guy, but points for commitment to the bit from the crew. Also, the horror of someone getting torn in two by the Fae king and queen, owing to a deal the school headmaster had made back in the day, that had some impact. I caught some of the plot regarding that, but as I emerged from a nap shortly before the whole drama kicked off, I didn’t get the full thing. Feelings were had, though the less said about the mandatory therapy session afterwards the better. Well meaning, but not the best execution.

Cutest. Monster. Ever. (Drink can for size comparison)

Spellcasting involved yelling something in pseudo-Latin and flourishing your foci, which for most folks was a wand. It was lovely to see how swiftly everyone got into the spirit of the thing, both in the shouting and reacting sense. I understand it can be tricky when there’s nothing to react to, but it still sparks joy when the switch is flipped and the in game becomes real, much like seeing people panic at the initial zombie release in Zedtown back in the day. (I really miss that game, and still hold out a forlorn hope it’ll return.) Other shenanigans included a list ranking students preferred teachers (I fell asleep the Saturday night to the sound of that night being debated in the kitchen and the reaction from staff the morning after was heated), mostly legal duelling and Physical House triumphing over the staff in a game of spellball, aka wizard dodgeball. it started as 3 out of 3, then grew into best of 9 as neither side refused to admit defeat or get enough of a lead. Also, we students took far longer to start using our wands than the teachers, so we had a moral victory as well.

I’ll be honest, I missed a fair chunk of the plot, and I do regret that. There were a couple points when I needed a nap, owing to general exhaustion or noise overload. It had been a stressful week leading up to game, and that reflected in my performance. There was no IC romance, though I did volunteer for it – one of the local Fae had a prophecy that he was going to be ‘laid like an egg’, and while that wasn’t my flavour, I hadn’t tried it and why not? It seemed that the prophecy was misread, and as far as I know nothing more happened. The main regret, outside of not doing more, was should I have let my character die at the final ceremony? In short, there was a large ceremony to replenish the wards around the school, and I was one of the people donating a serious amount of mana to help with that. I was having a bad brain moment, not helped by a nasty tarot reading from one of the mushroom folks. The idea of a long life devoid of creativity is an utter nightmare to me, both in and out of character, and the thought of dying as the hero really appealed for a few seconds. ‘Let me die the hero, after so many as a villain. It is far better thing I do, than I have ever done…” Still, what’s done is done.

Despite the (mostly self inflicted) issues, I still had a blast. The people, players and admins, were lovely, and getting to reunite with some of the South Australian folks from Path of the Warden was a joy. I’m looking forward to the photos, if only to see what sort of absurd faces I’m striking. Actually, that’s another issue – I regret not getting any group photos, be that the players, or the school houses. And yes, I’m planning to head back next year should there be another event, dependent on time. Shockingly, I’m already having ideas, this time for a faculty member, the school’s sports teacher. The costume would be modified sports armour covered in runes, maybe with an enchanted whistle or blowing horn. Ah, the things my brain does instead of letting me sleep.

That’s it for the moment. Be seeing you.

Swords are fun, and other surprising topics.

I’ll get the update stuff out of the way first, as the rest off this entry will be me venting ideas stuck in my head the last week. Last weekend saw Blacktown Medieval Fair, and while talking about swords, playing with swords and trying to convince people their lives would be improved by learning how to use swords was a heap of fun, it was also damn exhausting. I’ve also left feedback with them, politely asking the soundtrack please have more than the same 5 or so songs and could event the MC be sent on a Responsible Service of Alcohol course, as advocating for people to start drinking when the hotel opened at 11am, not to mention something alone the lines of ‘If you can’t drink them, give them to your kids’, was kind of horrifying and surely a relic of ages past. I was responsible with my shopping, with my main purchases being some frog earrings for my wife (Yes, even at a medieval event I can find frog items for her – BOW DOWN TO MY POWER!), a bloody guillotine pendant for a housemate (The smile that came over her face when I gave it to her was more than worth it, to say nothing of the fact that she immediately put it on) and a LARP cutlass for myself. It’s very pretty, and started my brain going, which will likely comprise the rest of this entry…

You see, that re-awakened the long held passion my brain has for all things to do raising the Black Flag (Ooooo-er!), whether I want it to or not. I mean, I haven’t helped that by starting a re-watch of Black Sails, or listening to episodes of Larps and Tarps where they discuss playing in the game Hoist the Colours, which led down a rabbit hole of trying to find cap gun flintlocks, possibly not helped by reading a recent discussion on the Drachenfest Australia group regarding their use in that game, as opposed to band guns. Furthermore, playing the remaster of Secret of Monkey Island, as much fun as that is, has reminded me of how utterly incompetent I am at puzzle games. Praise be to internet walkthroughs and hints, as I’m old enough to remember having to buy magazines to get them. Yes, I’m old, and get the hell off my lawn. I’m torn between what to buy when I finish it, the leading choices being either Sea of Thieves and Skull and Bones.

And that reminds me of a tale…*

So, yeah, my head has been slightly occupied. Old ideas have been returning to the fore, and thoughts of games starting with the shattered remnants of a pirate armada washing ashore on some unknown, foreboding island. That might have been accidentally borrowed from Hoist the Colours, I’m not sure. Either way, I might save that one for next Pheno, given the pirate RPG I helped kickstart should have arrived by then. I’m certainly happy to be having ideas again, even if they’re old ones I may have forgotten about. It’s also led to a lot of contemplation about trying to run it as a semi regular thing, or possibly go quite, quite mad and try to run a LARP again.

It’s kept my head busy at least, which has been nice. Thoughts of how much weird in the setting, when should that be introduced (As bloated as the later films got, the first Pirates of the Caribbean film did a great job of slowly introducing the ‘stranger’ parts of the setting), and indeed, should it be based in history at all? Basing in the historical Golden Age of Piracy, albeit modified, gives a good starting point and ready made villains in the British and Spanish navies, not to mention the East India Trading Company, whereas a more fantasy approach gives a larger scope for options, but at the risk of being a bit everything and the kitchen sink. I’ve seen more than a few fantasy LARPS that have no shortage of races, each with it’s own ability, and leaves them, to me, lacking in focus and fodder for min-maxing. Again, that’s a me thing, and is no way intended as a pot shot at others, as I’ve been guilty of taking part is such behaviour in the past. I’ve spoken before about the effect that Path of the Warden had on me, and it’s rules light approach has continued to do a number on what I want in a LARP. Combine that with reading Hoist the Colour’s design document, and well, it’s certainly sparked a desire to try writing something again.

Mind you, that hasn’t started yet, as between work and family my time and focus to sit down and write has been lacking. All I have so far is my long held wants at LARP, such as phones away during game and a phrase resembling “Permadeath exists fuckos, so get used to it!” in the rulebook. The former owing to them being distractions, that I’ve fallen victim to all too many times in the past, be that checking something during a quiet moment in play, or trying to maintain immersion with people taking video in the middle of play. Hell, I remember one game where one person was commentating while taking video, which more than shattered any remaining immersion. Take photos, at the start and end of the day, but between then, leave it to the crew and put your phones away. The latter being because I really like the risk of death in a game. I don’t want characters dropping like flies, and I can understand not wanting to die given you’ve put so much effort into costume and background, but what is adventure without risk? It brings that feeling similar to a convention one-shot game, where I have 3 hours to get stuff done and have no illusion of playing the character again and induces a certain hell bent for leather approach to my play, that’s frequently absent in longer running campaigns. I’m sure I’ve spoken on this before, but there’s likely new readers since that time.

Again, all of this is speculative, as it’s likely that given a few more days this hyper-fixation will fade and be replaced by something anew. It’s a blessing and a curse. It’ll likely be another half written Google Doc to add to all the others, but something that get’s in the head even slightly in gear is better than none. Still, anything to get it out of the system and let me get back to other things – I mean, Ravenswood is coming up soon, and I’ve been meaning to at least start re-reading the Rivers of London books in preparation, and writing up my character’s IMDB entry.

Anyhow, time for bed. Be seeing you…

*In short, a few years ago a group of friends were at a weekend game where a couple among them, who shall remain nameless, were in the fresh and vocally enthusiastic, shall we say, stage of their relationship, or so I heard. This led to an idea of the Fuck Tent, which I shall explain. Buy a cheap tent, set it up a sensible distance from the game zone, and stock it with condoms, lube and sanitizer, with a roster outside. For a small fee, people can book the tent for whatever they wish (IC or OC, we don’t discriminate), with the expectation they clean it when they’re done, and leave it for the next booking. The hope was for bookings to cover the cost of the tent and supplies, as said tent may be too ‘tainted’ for other uses and may indeed be ceremonially burned at the end of the event.

“Damn, it feels odd to be a player.”

It feels weird that I haven’t submitted an event for Pheno. I mean, I’ve had ideas, but they were more fragments, such as running a sequel to a game that didn’t happen, where the players construct/have flashbacks to the previous adventure as they go through and not a worthy scenario. Yes, jokes about what happened in the last movie can be amusing, but without a solid framework of an idea, a scenario, that’s not enough for me. I guess it’s my head’s way of saying you’re taking a break? It’s not that I’m not looking forward to playing again, I enjoy that, but there’s something special about GMing at cons that sparks joy. The wonder, the variety, of seeing groups deal with things in different ways. It makes me happy, and almost die from laughter. Seems odd is all, given I haven’t had any inclination for running something at home again. I mean, I have plans, but haven’t had the brain to put them into practice. Damn brain.

True, it’s been a stressful last few weeks, with knowing the submission deadline is coming and issues with work and home. Far too many people in my life coming down sick, to say nothing of how many were sick the day of my birthday event. I was damn glad anyone made it there were so many “I’m sorry, but we’re sick” messages. (I don’t blame anyone, to be clear – I’d rather you stay home and get well than force yourselves out) The day itself was enjoyable, Wyrmspan is a fun game (Tiny Dragons!) and The Court Jester went down a storm. Given this year’s film choices were mostly swashbuckling, I’m tempted to make the choices a genre next year, with sci-fi, schlock and sword and sorcery among them. Though to be fair I can likely find something that’ll combine all 3 in one. A new tradition has also been started, that of a late night classic series Doctor Who, with The Ark in Space being chosen. It nearly got horribly derailed, given I jokingly mentioned liking them too much to subject them to Timelash, but maybe there’ll be a night when they need to see Paul Darrow chewing the entirety of BBC Television Centre after he runs out of scenery. I’m also oddly proud of the playlist I put together, as putting it together involved answering questions like “It’s a party – we probably don’t need the theme to The Prisoner.” Also, there’s only 3 versions of Run to the Hills, which I consider to be very restrained on my part.

Distractions have helped somewhat, though the theming was accidental. Between showing my wife Ghostbusters: Afterlife, picking up the remaster of the Xbox game and getting to see Frozen Empire, my brain has been stuck on “Who you gonna call?” In short: we both really enjoyed Afterlife, I adore the Xbox game, despite some issues, with the background banter between the team a highlight. I’m not sure what I find funnier, the jokes about how often Ray get’s possessed or that you can interact with the painting of Vigo in the fire house, that Max Von Sydow recorded new dialogue for. As for Frozen Empire, it wasn’t bad, but felt overstuffed with characters and had a few too many nods to the original film for my tastes. Yes, I’m aware that’s doppelganger check time for me, who lives in the past as much as possible, but even I have my limits. Who’d have thought? This has naturally snowballed into me digging up a PDF of the old RPG, some idle googling of has anyone run a live action version, and wondering how you’d represent proton packs and traps in a LARP. I can see some sort of GM controlled Bluetooth device for the PKE meters (The louder it gets the more energy is nearby, as a general thing), but the proton packs is something else. Maybe MacGyvering a laser tag system, or hi-vis on the ghost costumes that needs to be illuminated by torches on the stream throwers for a certain chunk of time? Either way, the establishment of a new branch seems like a good start for a game and it’s been added to the ever growing list of game ideas I have. Also, I enjoyed the 2016 film, still want to be like Holtzman when I grow up and hope that someday we’ll see a proton pack rigged for a left hander.

Speaking of LARP, things are up in the air. Ravenswood hasn’t sold many tickets yet so who knows (Though I did test my costume when I was acting as the Responsible Adult at Niece’s 16th birthday party), Lost Settlers hasn’t announced dates yet and I fucked up slightly and bought a ticket to Heilung in Sydney for a ritual halfway through Drachenfest. Ooops. I’m going to be good though, and not scalp the ticket for a pile of cash as a relative suggested. That leaves Concord in September, and while I know at least one person thinking of going, the nation she and her husband are looking at is the one I have the least ideas for. So, I can go with that and know someone, or throw myself into the unknown, but with a nation I’m keener on. *ponders* Taking the second option will mean there’s another chance to wear my giant hat, which is tipping the scales somewhat. Then it’s the old issues of working out what parts of the event I want to play in, creating a working character, and not an excuse just to buy more weapons and another cloak. As if I need a reason for that!

A bearded man wearing a giant leather hat.
“Man walks down the street in a hat like that, you know he’s not afraid of anything …“

I could talk more, but it’s well past time for bed. Be seeing you…

En garde!

The Three Musketeers (2023)
Director: Martin Bourboulon
Starring: Vincent Cassel, Francois Civil, Eva Green

You know the feeling when you’re really excited for something, want it to be great, but it just isn’t? Yeah, it’s going to be that sort of review. Is it the worst adaption of the book I’ve seen? It’s certainly up there, though that doesn’t mean it’s bad per se. There will be minor spoilers, so be warned.

First off, to get it out of the way, I got to the cinema about 20 minutes late, after a truly torturous journey of OVER 2 FUCKING HOURS culminating in me running from Central station to the cinema in a breathless frenzy trying desperately not to run over people in my way. I knew there was trackwork and left with what I thought was plenty of time, but between an epic wait for replacement buses, followed by the extended kick in the knackers of my ‘express’ train crawling at a snail’s pace between Strathfield and Central, it was not a good start. There are reasons I hate buses, and that’s one of them. So, I was already sweaty, thirsty and in a foul mood when I made my way into the cinema discretely trying to find my seat, just as D’Artagnan was making his way into Musketeer headquarters. I’m assuming I missed him leaving home and the initial confrontation with Rochefort at Meung, but I’ve no idea.

I’ll spare the spoiler phobic a rundown on the film, but here are my thoughts. It’s very… brown, both in costume and colour palette. The last time I saw that much brown in one place was a particularly horrifying toilet cubicle at Town Hall station, but I won’t go into detail. What little colour there is, chiefly in the nobility, still seems drab and dark. Even the uniforms of the Musketeers and Cardinal’s Guards seem muted, with the famous Musketeer tabard little more than a dark, I want to say, jacket. I didn’t expect the full blown eye-bleedingly bright version of the 1948 film, but some colour would have been nice. I don’t think the director went full Zack Snyder, but it did seem to evoke the muted colours of the worst parts of the DC Cinematic Murderverse (Alas, I can’t claim that line as my own) to an irritating degree.

The cast do a good job, with a solid sense of who each character is, though my lateness left me with no idea if anyone is supposed to be Rochefort or not, given the one part that was rock solid to the book being no eyepatch. Vincent Cassel makes a fine Athos, all brooding and grumpy, while Francois Civil makes an entertaining D’Artagnan, possibly the least irritating version I’ve seen, even if his flirting with Constance is a bit over the top. The Cardinal barely twirls his moustache, while King Louis is far more serious, a change from, I want to say, every other version I’ve seen. There’s also not nearly enough of Eva Green’s Milady, but I’m assuming she’ll feature more in Part 2. As for the script, there’s some solid jokes and moments of levity amidst the brown and drama, but it’s not as fun as I was hoping for.

FUN FACT: Christopher Lee (From the 1973/4 version) is responsible for the ‘Rochefort wears an eyepatch’ trope, as he was looking for something to make the character more evil, and settled on one. And while there are certainly valid issues around characters with disabilities as villains, I can’t disagree with him, to the extent that to my knowledge every version of the character past up till this film has worn one at one point or another.

Speaking of changes, there’s a large number of them that left me cold. I wasn’t expecting a book accurate adaption, there’s large chunks of the book that wouldn’t work on film (The chapter on how Athos get’s his equipment for starters), or to modern eyes – the characters blasé attitude to thrashing servants and riding horses to death. It was an earlier time. But changes such as Athos’s former title no longer being a secret or a subplot with him him being found guilty of murder with the others having 4 days to prove his innocence? What? I’m sorry, was there not enough intrigue in the book? The director seemed to want a grittier version, which makes a change from the last few versions I’ve seen (The 2014 TV series and 2011 and 1993 films), and this gives us a King Louis who’s far more serious and less comic relief. On the other hand, Porthos swinging both ways I fully support, if only for the hope that it will annoy some horrible people on the internet.

And now, the part I’m sure you’re all waiting for my thoughts on: the fencing. Previous adaptions have been full of swordplay, some of it more functional and historically accurate than others. And yes, there is some swordplay in this (Though not enough for me), and it looks good, but it’s frustratingly directed with Michael Bay-esque swirling camera work mixed with closeups that obscure a lot of what’s going on. Given how much of my interest in the film is in the swordplay, that’s a pretty big strike against it. I’m sure the vast majority of cinema goers won’t have issues with it, even if people near me were shocked in parts. The fucker who’s phone rang though, deserves a punch in the junk. It’s 2024, surely cinema phone etiquette is a thing? I know we don’t have easily affordable cyborg replacement limbs (Cyberpunk 2020, you lied to me!), but putting ‘do not disturb’ on your phone should be a reflex action by now. Also, my screening’s gunfire was mighty damn loud for my tastes. Was it that way to evoke how loud real gunfire is? I can’t say, but it sure got my attention.

I’ll admit this review is clouded by circumstance, and had I arrived with a healthy amount of time to spare I may be feeling better about it. I certainly want to see it again, fully this time, and I’m sure it’ll be taking it’s place on my shelf before long. The 1973/4 adaption still reigns above all for me (The lunch fight in Three is my happy place), though I’ll admit the scenery chewing contest between Tim Curry and Oliver Platt in the 1993 version does warm my heart and makes it worth enduring Charlie Sheen. Things may improve after seeing Part 2, titled Milady, as well. But at this stage I can’t give it more than 6/10.

“Brains, and the storming of”

So, I spent the Invasion Day long weekend having a mini vacation with my wife and as usual on a vacation, I collapsed. I slept most of the first day as is traditional, then slept badly the second night and barely slept at all the last night. My emotions are all over the shop (I don’t normally almost break down crying when reading Princess Bride memes, but it happened), my concentration is frequently… something, and I still can’t quite mesh the two competing/contrasting themes together for my Pheno event I’m planning. However, I’m going to try to talk about good stuff that emerged from my brain over the time, and a lot of that involves brainstorming ideas. Dinner on the Thursday night was a feast of ideas old and new. The creative process is a wonderful thing, and getting to do so with my wife just makes it all the more wonderful. I know I’ve talked about how she has a wonderful knack for taking my bizarre over the top ideas, shaving off the dodgy bits and sculpting them into the pieces of glorious nonsense they are. And she’s only gotten better at it. So, let’s go.

The end of The Princess Bride, with Kermit as the grandchild and Cary Elwes as the grandfather.
As you wish… *cries*

Resistance is *static noise*
The Borg. The most implacable enemy of Starfleet. You’ve likely fought against them, or run away from them, but what happens if you are one? As far as you can remember, you’ve been part of the Collective, travelling the galaxy adding other creatures biological and technological distinctiveness to your own. Resistance is futile. And then one day, you wake up, and there’s nothing. You can’t hear the Collective, you remember nothing of your name, or past, or even what species you were/are now. (“Hey, my forehead’s lumpy, means I’m not Human!”) The Cube you travelled on is now a shattered barely functioning wreck, but there are others who have shared your fate. Some newly assimilated drones may still be wearing scraps of uniform, but for most there seems to be no trace of who you were or are. For now, survival is key – can you restore power and life support to the vessel, let alone navigation? You’ve no idea what part of the galaxy you’re in, and with no idea how this has happened to you. So, what’s next? (I have to say this was part inspired, at least for me, by memories of an old RPG called Zero, that I found for $5 at a convention decades back, but never actually ran.)

Today is a good day to die, but the day is not yet over.
A few posts ago I mentioned the Klingon Empire version of the current Star Trek RPG, and an idea popped up. What if, instead of a ship full of proud warriors, you had the misfits and screw ups? Those who would create rather than destroy, a ship of Alexander’s rather than Worf’s. It would be dishonourable to kill them, so they’ve been assigned to an old Bird of Prey and sent out into the galaxy, to find their purpose or die in the attempt. Do they embrace their warrior heritage, or attempt to find a new path, one that could perhaps revolutionise Klingon culture? (Yes, I’m very much reminded of the Orion’s in the Strange New Worlds crossover) As much as the whole macho Klingon aspect appeals to me (Yes, I’m aware I have issues), I do enjoy the idea off turning all that on it’s head.

A meme about a Klingon acting as ship's counselor.
Glory to you, and your house!

Wait, what would Picard do?
Lastly, this is another space one, and was begun by my wife. The idea was for one of the larger space settings like Traveller, but I’m sure it could be adapted to a lot of other settings. So, the standard group of characters in those sort of games seems to be a rag-tag group of smugglers or scrappy revolutionaries, aka space murder hobos. Case in point, the 1st Edition of the Star Wars RPG where the characters were… Rebel operatives. And that’s it. It wasn’t till 2nd Ed that ideas opened up. So, what if instead you were the command crew of a military vessel? None of you have met before – it could be your first tour, or your last. How do you deal with the responsibilities, deal with the crew, and cope with orders you may disagree with. When you can stand those orders no longer, what do you do? Work within the system and hope for change, or mutiny? And how does that mutiny go? Have you made friends with the crew, or are you more of the iron fist captain type?

Join Starfleet for the swag!
There’s more than the skants!

That last idea slightly mutated into thoughts inspired by a Stargate campaign I’m playing in. So, the default player group in the game is that of an SG Team, a perfectly sensible idea for it. But the idea for other options came to mind, and there’s more than a few in that setting. NID spooks back on Earth, a group of To’kra, members of the Free Jaffa movement or former Go’auld who’ve had the snake removed. To quote my wife, “there’s no point playing one as Claudia Black did it perfectly”, but you could try, I guess? (Also, the range of Big Finish Stargate audio plays is now back on sale and well worth a listen.)

So, yeah. Feel free to use them, as I, it feels weird to say can’t, but I’m not the GM for them. Maybe the Klingon idea, but the Lower Decks wackiness is closest to my skill set. Coming up with ideas that aren’t in my skill set as a GM is a blessing and a curse. It’s good to have an outlet for them, as not all of them work for LARPS I Will Never Run. Speaking of LARP, I’ve booked my ticket to Ravenswood Institute and completed my enrolment submission form, asking my likes, dislikes and any red flags. I like drama (Desperate last stands are one my thing’s), I loathe snails and slugs (Out of character) and need IC romance to function. OK, not quite, but I’ve had a lot of fun with it and want to do more. I think I’ve got my character idea bashed out, and I’m currently in the throes of costuming options and a suitably over the top entrance to game. The two leading ideas are ‘in character’ as the evil wizard he’s best known for playing, or post fan convention very hungover. Either way, I’ve plenty of time to work on options.

Lastly, I’ve been watching Nemesis on iview. It’s been a rage-inducing documenting of Australian political chaos, or to quote The Bugle Podcast, “a Human Centipede of backstabbing.” There’s been plenty of things I’d managed to happily forget from those times, such as the smug look of entitlement on Bronwyn Bishop’s face, or Wyatt Roy. All of him. The whole ‘Knights and Dames’ thing. Hearing Christopher Pyne’s, I want to say, ‘human’ speaking voice will haunt me for years to come and if I never hear or see Michaelia Cash ever again, I won’t miss her one bit. I’d dearly love to see footage of a just overthrown Tony Abbott swearing bitterly at Malcolm Turnbull, to say nothing of the exchange between the two from a committee meeting:
TUNRBULL: “If you’d let me finish.”
ABBOT: “If you’d let me finish my Prime Ministership…”

High School levels of pettiness doesn’t come close. And I haven’t even gotten to Barnaby Joyce, and I try not to at the best of times. Why was I watching this? Morbid curiosity and schadenfreude mostly – watching the Liberals tear each other to bits does warm my heart, even as the rest of me is being warmed thanks to their shitty climate policies.

Well past time for bed. Goodnight all, sleep well. I’ll most likely kill you in the morning.

So many emotions, so little time.


This update may be a little fragmented, owing to an earlier version not saving and some strong emotions, which I’ll get to later. To start with the nerd stuff – the Star Trek: Strange New Worlds binge has continued and the musical episode is truly glorious. I don’t generally care for musicals (This is Spinal Tap being a prominent exemption), but that was wonderful. I’m also cursing the season ending cliff-hanger, but I really should be used to those right now. Other chunks of my mental health have been propped up by binge listening to old episodes of A Wheezing Groaning Sound, the only Doctor Who podcast. Their episodes on City of Death and The Time Warrior are particular highlights, the former for their glee at everything Duggan either punches or smashes (Which is a lot), and the latter for the repeated jokes about Jon Pertwee yelling “HAI” at every opportunity. I’d get into the Ian Lavender discussion during their coverage of The Pirate Planet, but that has to be heard to be believed. Suffice to say, ever since listening to that one that I’ve not been able to hear the word lavender without wanting to shout “Oh shit, it’s The Hello Goodbye Man!” I swear, it made some sort of sense in the episode.

Now that’s what I call K-Pop!

I’m making preparations for an upcoming birthday and this years viewing is determined by a poll! Saturday also saw a playtest for a friends RPG, based on her urban fantasy novels, which was good fun. Feedback was given, and fascists were punched – both worthy things. Ravenswood Institute has released their event information packet and importantly, there’s another player organising a convoy to get there, as the venue is about 150kms from Perth. The brainstorming has continued, and I think I’ve settled on a PC idea. I know that’s dangerous 6 months out, but given how much I dither, it’s good to sort that nice and early. Thee idea is this: a mature age student (I have little confidence in my ability to pretend to be a 19 year old in person) who’s life in the mundane world has led him to appear in D-grade fantasy films. The current working version is played a villain in a cult hit early in his career, and owing to fan demands (and possibly chemical intake), the line between actor and character has blurred somewhat.

“Name sir?”
“My name? Foolish mortal! I am Skaldack the Destroyer! Where I tread I leave nothing but dust and darkness. All life is my enemy, all life shall perish under the reign of, oh I’m so sorry, old habits. Ah yes, the table was for 10, booked under the name David.”

Needless to say, the idea had me chuckling quite a bit, and was received positively by one of the admin team, so it’s a go I guess? The next part to choose will be what approach I take – do I go full Alan Rickman in Galaxy Quest (As I’ve said before, the best Star Trek film and that’s a hill I will die on) or dress like a cheesy goth wizard from a SyFy Original movie. Given I’ve been browsing for faux leather pants, and my wife’s reaction to that piece of information, that’s in the lead. Shallow? Who, me?

Now, to the emotional section. Saturday night saw a TV1 reunion, based around the 10th anniversary of the channel’s end. (I mostly worked for SF, their sister channel) To be clear, it was hard for me, as I loved that place and would likely still be there in some fashion if at all possible. On the way there I was browsing the invite list hoping I remembered enough people, and I did get the jitters the closer I got. It had been a long time since I’d seen them, and upon doing so I was overwhelmed with emotions. Seeing happy looks at my arrival helped ease the jitters somewhat, even if the next thing out of most people’s mouths was “And where is your wife?” I showed some of them her calendar to explain her absence, but I still don’t think that got across how busy she likes to be.

The first of two big moments involved talking to my former supervisor. We were doing the update thing, and I was discussing my journey, getting to the point where I realized I needed to talk to someone about my mental health, then stopping and managing to say “I’m sorry, this was supposed to be a fun night.” It was an awkward moment, but one that was treated with sympathy and respect, and for that I damn near wept. Not seeing someone for over 10 years means you can forget how lovely they are, and I certainly had. Emotions flooded back, joy, fulfillment, of the delight that all that useless nerd trivia I’d built up came in handy. Of feeling needed, and in control in the workplace. Oh, and having air conditioning in the workplace. I’m not saying things were perfect for me there and looking back on it there were plenty of times I could have used mental help, but it was also the workplace where I’ve felt happiest. It could be said to have ruined me for future jobs a bit and others I talked to agreed on that.

That brought back how I felt in the first two jobs I held post TV1, and how bitterly I hated the atmosphere in them. I may flip the bird to the building one was located in on the rare occasions I pass by it. (Yes, I try to hold my standards higher, but on occasion I can be spectacularly petty) I try not to begrudge people interests other than mine, but having to play ads for the Kardashians, let alone other E Channel shows, on a science fiction based channel, even one that was a pale imitation of the original that I adored, still feels like a stain on my life and soul. It felt like I was having to promote something that was opposed to everything I stand for. There’s times I take my fandoms far too seriously, and that may be one of them.

The other big moment of the night was chatting to another former co-worker, who explained that reading my gaming tales here had given her a window into a world she otherwise had no idea about. A speedy way to my heart is to tell me you read my work – all too often during my time writing a weekly nerd update at SF I’d wonder if I was just yelling incoherently into the ether and the precious few responses I got (Outside of the ones from my wife alerting me to typos) meant a lot to me. Anyhow when the person in question reads this, if you ever want to try your hand at gaming, you only have to ask. I’m always happy to help new blood into the hobby. As for the rest of the night the venue reminded me of both the farewell party we had for the channel there, and having to go to the Ivy Bar once after a team building event, which left me both feeling incredibly out of place and wanting to burn the place to the ground and salt the earth so nothing could grow their again. I don’t think I’ve ever felt quite so out of place anywhere. But I digress. I managed to mostly hold it together, and only broke down when I got home and could hug my wife.

It’s late, and I should sleep. Night all.

* Except for the guy who was obsessed with the possible return of Firefly, to the extent that he’d bitch about cast members getting other jobs, as that might interfere with a possible Firefly return. Some people really need a new hobby.

To boldly go…

OK, to get it out of the way, I started Star Trek: Strange New Worlds, and it is glorious. The ‘new’ Enterprise is gorgeous, I love the characters, both new and new versions of the existing ones, and there have been a LOT of feels as I make my way through. I know basically everyone who doesn’t show up in TOS doesn’t have plot armour, but that doesn’t lessen my attachment to them ONE BIT. I will give no spoilers, though I do need to say the way the episodes pinball around can leave some serious mood whiplash. From an Alien homage to the Lower Decks crossover, the story book ep to what is functionally MASH in Spaaaaace (And I don’t mean that in the comedy sense), each episode can be vastly different from the previous. And I haven’t even gotten to the musical episode yet… I feel like I should say something more dramatic than ‘It’s really good Star Trek‘, but that’s what it is to me. I’m near halfway through S2, and am dead keen for more. I hadn’t expected to suddenly go on a Star Trek binge (Having long been more of a Star Wars fan), but here I am. Qapla!

And yes, I still want one of those tankards. My birthday’s in April, just saying…

Turning back to gaming, the event info packet for Ravenswood Institute has been delayed. Frustrating, but entirely acceptable. I’d rather wait a little while extra for up to date info after all. That hasn’t stopped me from having my usual flood of character and costume ideas though, some more suitable than others. Let’s go!
1: My current leading idea, the well dressed one I mentioned in my last post. I don’t have a goal for that one yet, but joining the magical cops seem interesting. Given I ran an IC black market in the last weekend game I played, maybe being on the side of the law in this one might be a good change?
2: A sort of goth Viking punk. Frayed, black and leather, accessorised with tattoos and enough silver bling to scare off an entire pack of werewolves. I’d also need to find way to hide a speaker on my costume to play Heilung while doing any rituals. #atmosphere
3: I don’t have any costume ideas for it yet, but someone who specialises in taking care of magical animals. I’d need to find a way to do this without going into a bad Steve Irwin impression though. “Oh boy, that’s a Greater Horned Owlbear, and isn’t she a beauty!”
4: Wannabe sex cultist. Oh yeah, time to get my Al Crowley on! Yes, I know that’s not all the Cult of Ecstasy (From the RPG Mage: The Ascension) were about, but in my defence the last time I read any of the splat books I was about 19. The idea of putting “I just want to know what it’s like to bang one of the fae” as a character goal also amuses me, but I am very easily amused, to the consistent frustration of my wife.

It has also been a consistent source of amusement at people’s reactions when I say I’m planning to go to a game set at a wizards university, “but not that one!” (TERF’s can just fuck off, by the way, It shouldn’t need to be said, but why take a chance on that?) I’m also starting to brainstorm character goals, which are as barebones as my character ideas at the moment, but here goes:
1: Look good. We all have reasons why we LARP, and costume is one of mine.
2: Do wizard shit. Cast spells, be involved in rituals, get myself almost fireballed or turned into an orangutan. (Oook!) Basically, to involve myself in the game, and justify travelling all that way.
3: Romance. In game as in life, it can be a terrifying experience, but it’s also a hell of a lot of fun.
4: Make a name for myself, or at worst a reputation. Either the sort of “Oh, X is here, he’ll save us!” or make the IC admin team curse admitting me.


Time for bed. Goodnight all. Sleep well. I’ll most likely kill you in the morning…

“The building was on fire, and it wasn’t my fault.”

If you recognise the above quote, then you’ll have an idea about what this post is about. For those of you who don’t, go forth and read a book series called The Dresden Files. Anyhow, I’m here to talk to you about wizards!

So, I’ve discovered another LARP I’m keen to attend. This one’s called Ravenswood Institute, and the short version is it’s a wizard university, one that’s completely unaffiliated with the one we do not name. It’s a spin off of an earlier game, Kingsford School of Witchcraft, that ran in Adelaide a while ago. I stumbled across Kingsford a while back, after it’s 2 runs, so I’m glad I have the chance to play in something inspired by it. Sure, a Wizard school may not seem like my thing, but I’ve been wanting to play one for a while and this should get it out of my system. That and, shock horror, I kinda want to try something new… I’ve been struggling a lot of late with what sort of game I enjoy. I withdrew from a tabletop that a housemate is starting soon, because I can’t cope with survival horror games right now (or really at all), and to sanitise it to make it fit for me would remove the point of the game. So, I made the decision to drop out. Not an easy thing, but I’m happy I managed it. Anyhow, back on topic, there’s the added factor of the event having a structure, as opposed to the fest LARP issue of “I’m here, what the hell do I do now?” (Yes, I’m certain most fest LARP’s have policies in place to deal with that, but I still struggle with being around new people.)

Sure, Western Australia in late June isn’t exactly a local trip, but I have time up my sleeve. it also means I have things in my calendar, and that’s much needed for my well-being. It’s not that I don’t, and my schedule as is is pretty booked up, but the more sources of joy the better. At the time of writing it’s still a few days from the release of the official info packet, so it’s not as if I need to book flights today or anything. Which (of course) means more time to overthink character and costume ideas! People who know me should not in anyway be shocked by this.

Harry Dresden riding a Zombie T-Rex
POLKA WILL NEVER DIE!

The current leading character idea is less an idea, and more a costume. In short, I really like the idea of a wizard in a 3 piece suit (In conjunction with the whole wanting to dress fancier thing I’m going through, and am bouncing around ideas that will let me do that. Given it’s a modern setting, that cuts down a lot of options, which is both a help and hindrance. Who’s to say I don’t have a formal robe after all? In any case, the suit in question will need to be fitted well enough to run in, not to mention for any possible PARKOUR! It’s early days though, and given my capacity for character ideas, I expect to have more than one backup idea in the tank.

I’m also learning from my experience post Path of the Warden and plan to book a hotel for at least 2 nights afterwards to recover, though I’ll admit I’m morbidly curious about trying the sleeping pods at the airport for an hour or so. Recovery time is much needed, both for the physical and especially the mental effects. I character bleed all over the joint, as discussed previously, and time to calm down from that is essential for me.

So, yeah. Short update. Not much has happened since I last wrote, though I’m glad the green bins in my have finally been picked up. Turns out there were delays, as opposed to me wondering if I’d cursed the entire street by putting the wrong bin out. Also: I have a game idea for Pheno, but I’m keeping that under the hat for the moment. Spoilers…

“Well, Shaka when the walls fell.”

As far as I know, it is functionally impossible for me to fall asleep anywhere but lying on my  back. So, it’s been suboptimal that I’ve spent a solid chunk of the last few nights for some reason lying on my front attempting to quiet my brain so I can finally crash out. Alas, a lot of that time has been spent drafting blurbs for updates that I immediately forget as soon as I fall asleep. *sigh* So, I’m trying to reconstruct some of them here, or at the very least talk/write through stuff. Once again, here we go…

I have survived another year, somehow managed the Christmas season without resorting to fire and slaughter and passed New Years with barely a drop of misery. Hearing my in-laws had gone off-list for a Christmas gift had me concerned, but when said gift turned out to be a (beautiful) drinking horn, any fears were swiftly calmed. Playing Cards Against Humanity with a housemate’s mother being among the players was awkward, though no more awkward than drawing the question card “What makes me wet?” I get that it’s based on what cards people have in their hands, but based on the answers I got some of my friends have an odd idea of my kinks. And no, I’m not telling you what those are.

That has passed though. There’s been medicinal fuck-ups (Forgetting or sleeping past the allotted time, not over indulging, to be clear), far too late nights and more than the the odd bout of emptiness, both in the forgetting to eat and wondering what the fuck am I doing today definitions. I don’t fall to pieces every time my wife goes away, but it’s a bad time of year for it to happen. So yeah… Loathe as I am to Google diagnose seasonal affective disorder, Christmas does bring stress, rage and anxiety in large amounts. Good times!

In further bad news, Path of the Warden has been put back to 2025 and the news felt like running into a wall. Don’t get me wrong, I’m completely on-board with the admin team’s reasons and have zero ill will towards them for it, it just brings back memories of Covid days when the calendar kept getting emptier and the days blurred together. Yes, there are other events running this year, and I’ve started tentative efforts towards putting together groups to go to them, but as previously stated I was really looking forward to that event. *sighs*

Only bright sides are I have more time for costume prep (Or more accurately, being incredibly indecisive about what I’m going to wear for longer) and there’s a chance I’ll be able to drag Niece, then to be aged 17, to it. She’s said convention freeforms aren’t really her thing and I respect that, but I’d love to get her to a foam weapon game for her to try it. This hobby makes me so damn happy, I want to share it with people, and if that means dragging a family member interstate so they can play dress up and try to thwack people with rubber swords then I’ll do that. A provisional agreement between us to do so has been reached about it, though she’s indicated she’ll require naps during the game. I don’t blame her. I’m still surprised I made it through the event without crashing, physically or emotionally. After the game though…

Artists reaction of the author’s brain at the game postponement news.

Turning to better news, I chose to take time and grabbed a Paramount +* trial to finally catch Star Trek: Lower Decks, and it is glorious. Star Trek workplace comedy may have been the idea, but it doesn’t shy away from the more terrifying parts of that universe, even while it’s cracking gags at a speed rarely seen since Airplane. Ask me, it’s a more than worthy successor to Galaxy Quest (Still the *best* Star Trek film, and I will DIE ON THAT HILL), in that loving tribute/merciless parody mix. It’s been 3 days, I’ve burned through all 4 seasons and am hankering for more. It’s the first Trek, bar the movies, that I’ve seen all of, and I love it. They’re a shipful of player characters and that’s a Star Trek game that I could run. Sure, I won’t, as the rules system is above my preferred crunch level as a GM and I’m still keener on the Klingon version of the book. Yes, they’re my favourite Trek race, mostly because I never lost the feeling of power they gave a young and scrawny me, and that feeling continues as an older and more pudgy adult. (Also, the songs) This may also explain why I’ve spent so much time admiring the tales of a certain northern barbarian…  

The sheer amount of Easter Eggs and historical gags is stunning, whether it’s taking the piss at the stranger parts of Voyager, familiar voices from other parts of the franchise (Recognising them is kind of a thing of mine), dealing with Q, or calling the TOS era ‘those old scientists.’ And the crossover with Strange New Worlds was beautiful. Also, GORN WEDDING. The line “I suppose, by the transitive property, I too must be Vulcan as a motherfucker.” And I can’t help but cackle at the bleeping – that makes everything funnier. I can’t decide what was the biggest punch the air moment for me, between the Titan’s arrival and Shaxs finally getting to eject a warp core. Also, “Moopsy” has taken it’s place in the list of things that will immediately induce sheer terror in me, alongside “Are you my Mummy?” and “Hmmmmmm.” 

If you know, you know.

Continuing the TV talk, the Doctor Who anniversary and Christmas specials were a delight. I wasn’t sure about the return of [SPOILERS, AS MY WIFE READS THIS AND HASN’T SEEN THEM], but I was happily surprised. Getting to see [REDACTED] again, even if only briefly, was incredibly emotional, to say nothing of seeing [DELETED FOR SECURITY REASONS] and the whole [THIS CONTENT IS NOT AVAILABLE IN YOUR REGION]. Large sections of them has seemed to really piss off certain toxic sections of fandom, even if I did spend a couple of days of being on the same side as Ian Levine and I still feel unclean from that. The new Doctor is amazing, and oh gods, his costumes are wonderful. I’m really looking forward to the new season, but I’m like that with all Who. I love it at it’s best, and at it’s worst.

So, yeah. Bit up, bit down. My best to you and yours for the new year. Be seeing you…

“An elegant weapon, for a more civilised age…”

I have a new sword! And it’s one of the most beautiful things I’ve seen in a long time. Yes, I also have a floor ticket for Iron Maiden next year, but this is a new sword, AND IT’S MINE! I was mighty nervous holding her for the first time, though it was pointed out that I was walking faster than normal into class the night she arrived, but she just feels right in my hand. It’s the most expensive, and important to me, purchase I’ve made in some time, and I’m so damn happy that it’s worked in my favour. A fellow student had ordered a similar blade in the previous order, and it felt a bit too wobbly in the blade for my tastes, so I was mighty nervous. But yes, I now own a steel rapier, and it makes me very, very happy. There’s also the temptation alter my traditional pre-training routine to raise it above my head and yell “By the power of Grayskull!” Well, that or “Blood and souls for my lord Arioch!”, a slightly more niche reference, but one I’m more likely to have to bite back yelling when I’m on public transport. Town Hall station in summer is one of the levels of Hell as far as I’m concerned, and the people employed to clean it deserve CEO level wages. But I digress…

In other good news, Path of the Warden has announced their next event! So, it seems I’ll be heading back to Adelaide in June to hunt monsters again. Now, we currently know very little about the event, other than it’s in another part of the game world, and there’ll be new combat styles. I want you to know that I am being VERY GOOD, and PATIENT and CALM and am continuing to leave the admins alone despite the many questions I have. Most are around the new setting, but not knowing if we’ll need to create new PC’s has been on my mind, or as the Bard may have put it, “New PC or not New PC, that is the question.” 

Now, regardless of the answer to that question I’m going to the game, as I had a stupid amount of fun the first event, to the point it seemed to click that this was my sort of LARP. I know it won’t be the same, as there’s been changes in the GM team, and several players have already indicated they can’t make it. Change is good – the idea of going to do the exact same plot, but somewhere else doesn’t have quite the same appeal, you know? It’s not as if I don’t have character ideas stashed away – the current leading one involves a lot of fake tan (That my wife has already volunteered to help apply) and potentially singing sea shanties as I go into battle. To quote my wife, “With your singing voice you won’t need a sword to scare the monsters off.” She’s not wrong. The urge to have a good IC death (preferably on the last night of game) has also returned, but that may have been influenced by a recent binge through random Star Trek: Deep Space 9 episodes, most of which just happened to feature General Martok, aka the BEST KLINGON EVER.

But at the same time, I’d love to see the people involved again, renew IC relationships, to see the school’s teachers again and update the black market I’d been running on garrison. (Hopefully it hasn’t been shut down in my absence, though at least one of the teachers is aware of it. I was about 3 feet away when another student let it’s existence slip and it felt like a live action Homer vanishes in the hedge moment.) To see old comrades once again, celebrate their victories and mourn their losses. To use the back scabbard I own to carry my lady’s blade, and to see if my character’s journey from penniless scoundrel to dedicated field surgeon and proud Warden continues. On another note, In-Game Fiancée and I may have spent quite some time and brain power planning ahead for our characters futures, and I’d dearly love to continue their story. It’s perfectly normal to be excited about that sort of thing, I mean, it’s not as if I’ve been Googling for IC wedding rings for us to wear, that would be utterly absurd…

To be clear, I’m not insisting this happen. It’s not a deal breaker for me. Roleplaying is a group exercise, and I have no interest in making demands of the GM team. I mean, what’s the worst that could happen? Oh no, I have to create and outfit a new PC, oh the horror… It’s looking like a busy year on that front, given I’m eyeing off going to Lost Settlers, Concord and the first Australian Drachenfest, to say nothing of recently being alerted to an alt history Babylon 5 game that’s being planned in Melbourne. Yes, I have already indicated my interest in playing a Centauri, and if you’re surprised by that you really shouldn’t be.

Oh, and there’s Phenomenon. It feels weird to not already know what I’ll be submitting for the next con, I have ideas, but nothing that feels solid enough yet and that’s been disturbing me. Are my new brain meds slowing that down, or am I getting more discerning? Do I take next year off and play? Or should I stop worrying, let my brain do it’s thing and see what happens? Lastly, there’s Knotfest, and while I’m incredibly keen to see 3 of the bands on the bill, those being Skindred, the Hu and Halestorm, I really don’t want to give money to Pantera, or to be specific, Phil Anselmo. I have a long term bias against that band that has nothing to do with them musically, more that every Pantera fan I knew when they first broke out was a violent meathead, and that impression has stayed with me. (I’ve occasionally often wondered if any of them discovered their glam period.) Same with The Doors, though those fans were more garden variety dickheads. But to see the mighty Skindred, to fire up the Newport Helicopter again, that might just be worth it.

Time for bed. Good night all. Sleep well. I’ll most likely kill you in the morning.