It is late, but I have words.

Couldn’t sleep, had too many words buzzing through my head, so I hope by writing them down, I’ll be able to sleep. It’s been a hell of a week, about which I shall spare you. Instead, I have had… an idea. Long term readers, or people who’ve played my convention games will know how dangerous that can be.

Here we go. YouTube recommended me episodes of the 80’s GI Joe cartoon, and having little else to do on the train, I thought why not? I have observations.
1: This show is pretty damn awful.
2: Were I a drinking man, playing some sort of game where you drink each time someone yell’s “Yo Joe!”, escapes a vehicle wreck or parachutes from an airplane, you would be very drunk pretty damn quickly.
3: Given the resources Cobra must have access to, given the vast amount of underground bases, wacky super weapons and the like they possess, not to mention the sheer amount they must spend on ejector seats, parachutes and other crash proofing technology, why seek world domination through military might? Just do it the (other) American way – buy elections.
“Duke, we’ve just found out that Major Bludd is running for Governor of Boise, Idaho!”
“Right, two can play that game. Scarlett, you and Gung-Ho get started on Shipwreck’s campaign announcement speech. Yo, Joe!”

Yeah, it doesn’t quite have the same spark to it. Anyhow, this sparked something. I have occasional thoughts about trying GM’ing outside of conventions. I had a group of players keen for a Torchwood Sydney game I’d brainstormed with some of them, or that post apocalyptic LARP idea that I thought about dusting off for a few seconds last week. I shut that thought down, reasoning that in the age of isolation what hope is there and also that running a game that had germ warfare and out of control viruses in the current climate wasn’t exactly sensible. I still love the idea of dressing crew in bloodstained koala onesies to act of Drop Bears though. Sorry, back on topic…

Yes, I’m getting to the point here, despite all evidence. We go back a few years now,  to Fair and Balanced. Oh, 2016, remember when we thought that was as bad as it got? Happy times they were… I’m still impressed by how that game’s reputation has spread, having seen several sharp intakes of breath and “YOU?” when it’s mentioned I was responsible for that monster. I’ve resisted writing a sequel, owing to not being able to out crazy reality. I wrote a blurb at one point and may someday make that public – I’m still quite proud of the opening line of “The shining city on the hill is now a strip mall.”

The canon ending of Fair and Balanced was the PC’s, having helped tear the country apart, discovering that Obama was about to announce he was stepping down and returning fair elections to the people. That (generally) took place at some sort of press conference, but I had a thought about amping up the crazy a little. Well, more than a little. The Democrat Party records vault, where Obama’s secret Kenyan birth certificate was kept, is under the Watergate Hotel, for starters.

So, Obama’s giving the big mystery speech, but when the PC’s kick things off his security doesn’t move. Why? Because his lectern transforms into a suit of robot armour and he joins the fight. Maybe he’s secretly a cyborg, who can infect all he touches with socialism, like some sort of Communist Ultron and has an army of Muslim Kenyan ninjas at his command! Of course, there would be something else in the PC’s way, that being the terrible threat of MECHA JOE BIDEN.

I might sketch this out for a 5th anniversary re-run of the game, give people the option for how bat-shit crazy things go. “Do you want it relatively normal, slightly crazy or full Godfrey Ho?” I might not be able to out-crazy reality, but I can give it a damn good go.

Sleep beckons. Be seeing you.

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