And once again comes to post con crash. Slightly lessened for me this year but having to go straight back to work as opposed to recovery time, but it’s been relatively busy, so that’s kept me from too much angst. The comedown is still there though, as is the adrenaline crash. The flood of ideas for next year has continued, but more on that later. An ugly part has reared it’s head, and that’s feedback. As always, it’s terrifying to see, soul shattering to read, and left me in a crumpled heap. To be clear though, I have zero issue with it’s author, and he was kind enough to clarify what he’d said and add some quite lovely things afterward. Feedback is like a bad playtest – it hurts at the time, but it makes for a better product. Some things I can work on, other things have become part of the fabric of my events. I do regret not checking with people on pronouns and comfort levels, and am willing to admit that I was running off a “It’s one of my events, surely nothing too horrible can happen” and at times did tell people to please speak up if they were uncomfortable. I like to think that people would feel OK doing so, and can only pleased that people who choose to play my events are wonderful and who wouldn’t be jerks. It’s not an actual defence, as I had a few first timers, but I assume the best of people until proven otherwise.
(Although I could probably use a Co-GM to stand beside me and tap me on the shoulder when I’m about to go off topic, anecdote or have let players fart about for too long, no matter how much fun they’re having.)
The flood of ideas has continued. Well, less flood and more ‘I’m temporarily hyper focused on this until something else comes along’. I have met my brain before. The first idea was the ‘escaping the rest home’ and that’s mostly been about what is the actual point of the adventure and what archetypes are the PC’s inspired by. Inspirations have been the following: Autolycus (Hercules/Xena) Locke Lamora Ffarhd and the Grey Mouser (In this version they’d be a couple) Catwoman Lupin III and Fujiko Mine (If you don’t know these names, run, don’t walk, to legally attain a copy of The Castle of Cagliostro and watch it. You’ll thank me afterwards.)
As for the plot, friends on BlueSky have been ‘helping’ with that. Perhaps the children of the PC’s are slated for execution, or borrowed their tools and need to be saved, before the PC’s are incriminated as well? Makes for a nicer idea than breaking out to see the sun one last time before the end, or a thinly veiled knock off of Bubba Ho-Tep, which I’m not sure I can manage as a GM either. As funny as that film was, it was also a lot bleaker than I was expecting. I do like the idea of choosing characters by picking a prop responding to that character’s style – the assassin get’s a dagger, the thief get’s lock picks, con artist a false moustache, etc. In no way do I claim the idea to be original, but it amuses me so it’s not being discarded.
The other idea arose from a sartorial desire. I’d idly posted about wanting tailors set up near cinemas, so I could walk out of a movie and commission versions of things I’d just seen (It’s been a dream for a while) and in an effort to explain myself, said I’d had an idea for a pirate freeform, but didn’t really have an idea short of “Let’s Dress as Pirates: The Freeform.” Since then, there’s been encouragement, a little regret at not dressing up recently, and several ideas, some less cursed than others. The current most spectacular one is the Multiverse Pirate Gathering, in which the likes of Captain Hook, the Pirate King, Davy Jones and Long John Silver (The Tim Curry version, in case anyone wondered) have a get together.
I adore my friends that they’ll jump on stuff like this. For all the chaos it can cause, it makes me feel incredibly loved. It’s eerily similar to how Australians will automatically back each other up when bullshitting to Americans, I suggest something utterly stupid and they emerge yelling things like “Write it!” and “When are we getting a second Fair and Balanced game? And before you monsters say anything, the answer is no. As for the pirate game, the Multi-Vaaarrrrsal Committee* isn’t a bad one, but mostly I’m vexed by how, despite his not technically being a pirate, can I sneak a cameo from Redbeard Rum in?
The other topic that’s been vexing me is a possible supernatural element to it, mostly is there something that hasn’t been used overmuch, or is unexpected? Skeletons, zombies and voodoo (Mostly the Hollywood version, but some more historical) are all much part of the legend these days and what else could there be? We’ve all seen the Kraken, battled zombie pirates and the like, and while I’m normally the first to jump for the old clichés, I find myself struggling for something new. Not sure why to be honest, but my ideas so far have been monkeys empowered by dark magics that fling explosive poop and piss acid, or borrowing an old idea of mine and using drop bears (AKA, crew in bloodstained koala onesies with giant foam claws) and neither of those are exactly practical for a convention one-shot. And no, I’ve no idea where the idea for the monkeys came from.
“Wake up hon, a new Pirate LARP just got announced!”
Bedtime now. I’ve worked all weekend, and am back at it tomorrow. Sleep well, I’ll most likely kill you in the morning.
Another Phenomenon has finished and I find myself back at home again starring at reality. As always, I’m shattered with exhaustion and semi lucid, but running 9 sessions from 11 will do that to you. Good times. Quotes from my event will be in italics scattered about, with no context given. (As far as I know they’re all correct, but feel free to correct me if not) Consider that incentive to sign up for my events in future, as my players are fucking hilarious. Anyhow, let’s commence the recap!
Overall, it’s been bloody lovely. There’s been some wonderful compliments towards me and my event, though the highlight was being told in another game someone was trying to describe an NPC’s hair and beard, which was summed up as “Just like Gav.” I’m very pleased by that, and have made sure not to ask who the NPC in question was. The event organisers and volunteers continue to be lovely, supportive and encouraging and I adore them for it. It feels like being back amongst my people when I walk in, and that was before I found out that I was A: in the same room the entire con and B: it was on the ground floor and close to a bathroom. It’s the little things that can matter the most.
“Lawrence, I’ve been informed you were trained at some sort of Police Academy. I’ve seen those movies and I’m not impressed.”
“How’s things been? Apart from the cancer?”
“Of course they can fit it in the engine, they don’t call it a mini gun for nothing!”
Anyhow, my event. There was frantic re-writing beforehand (I look back fondly on the first of my Musketeers games which was play-tested a month before the event, something I’ve never managed again) and stress. I may take too much joy from people enjoying my work, but I continue to be nervous before my con games. As always, after the first session I shouldn’t have. One of my regulars commented it was his 2nd, maybe 3rd, Pheno with his first session being my game, and he was very pleased by that. Post session, there was quite the sigh of relief. Had a player later either at her first con, or her first roleplaying game (I don’t remember), but if that was her first game she’ll be stunning going forward. Felt good to be back in the saddle.
“They don’t expect the first explosion, but we’ve got more explosions to come.”
“The recoil on the shotgun will lift us higher.”
“The motion tracker from Aliens, but for printers.”
Overall, the game itself went as well as I’d hoped for, though I’m willing to admit some sessions were better than others. Nothing to do with the players, but I’m the first to admit my 1st 2 sessions on the Sunday weren’t quite up to my usual standards – the first session on daylight saving day is always a crap shoot and 3 players left me scrambling to fill a few more gaps. The afternoon session was restrained, owing to a friend of mine’s kid being a player. The kid was spectacular though, and thoroughly deserved the trophy I gave him. Anyhow, that restraint might be how the late session Sunday ended up as a torrent of filth. I may have cracked open that particular Pandora’s (Shoe) Box, but the players ripped it open and let the horror flow freely. Turned out the movie in that session was part funded by product placement/sponsorship from Wikifeet (If you don’t know what that is, don’t search for it) and the level of filth went to 11. Thousand.
“The good news is, I’m a notoriously bad shot. The bad news is, I’m shooting to wound.”
“That might be the worlds largest Rick-Roll?”
“There’s a bunch of settings on the side (of the taser): Recharge, Tickle, Incapacitate, War Crime.”
The final 2 sessions (On the Monday of the con) were minimal dice, maximum narration. We were all incredibly tired, on the same level and I spent a lot of it trying not to collapse from laughter. I think the morning session was the point at which we mutually tried to connect the film to as many fictional universes as possible. So, the people who freeze frame the film will spot shout outs to this company, mentions of these fictional companies and various actors are either in cameos, or in the background. 1 session had Gillian Anderson and David Duchovny playing a characters parents, while the scores at the virtual target practise software in another had the names J Steed, M Smart and I Gadget. I bloody love my players, especially when they match my style of crazy.
“I’m not sure I’ve ever described an axe being touched as sensual.”
“The only people I’ve upset is the Homeowners Association and I can take them.”
“If it’s an Eastern European possum, then it’s a raccoon, and has a moose friend and I hate them both!”
The following are out of context highlights. Brace yourselves. The mysterious island the bad guy’s base was located on was shaped like a large foot in the ‘funded by Wikifeet’ session. They entered the caves underneath through a gap between the toes. Me hearing a player mention using an AR15 and immediately thinking “AR15 – when you absolutely, positively have to kill every motherfucking student in the school, accept no substitute.” I’m not proud. One of the hacker’s contacts being the actual Nicholas Cage. All the sex dungeon jokes in one session. The ways some groups took over the villain’s organisation. Some were intimidation, most involved murder, and in one case a PC snuck up behind him and cut his throat while he was on a zoom call with his underlings. The way the driver’s (played by Helen Mirren) car having an increasingly large central console with the standard gears being Neutral, Reverse, Drive and Donuts. What was possibly the world’s largest Rick-Roll. A bomb detonation being stopped by a knife being thrown into a hand. (I like to think wherever he is that Clancy Brown smiled at that point) The running gag of “technobabble” “In English?” Wanting to hear Helen Mirren say “Ooops, had the silly thing in reverse.”
“You didn’t kill my father, will you stop saying that!”
“I’m not that much of a dick, I’m only a mild amount of dick.”
“Valkyrie, Miss Piggy, either way they’re both women we’re not going to fuck with.”
It was fucking glorious. I didn’t get sick this year, even if the plan to nap in my spare sessions didn’t quite work out. The joy of compliments, and plotting new ideas. Some of them include: 5 versions of Batman have to work together. (There may be a secret session with 4 of them being Adam West, with the last PC being the actual Adam West) Staff at a fantasy charity shop dealing with cursed magic items. Elderly thieves have to escape from a heavily fortified retirement home.
Anyhow, time for sleep. You should be planning to attend next Pheno.
I have returned from a land beyond space and time, otherwise known as Western Australia, where I’ve been teaching at wizard university (No, not the Unseen one. Sadly). That’s right, it was Ravenswood Institute’s second event and dear readers, I had a blast. Wait, I had a Magic Missile! No. Melf’s Acid Arrow? Thunderwave? Fireball? (OK, I’ll stop now) For I wasn’t a mere student this year, but a member of staff – enter Duncan Kincaid, sports coach and Phys Ed instructor! The following recollections may be inaccurate, be missing important context and will almost certainly contain events I don’t mention during questioning and later rely on in court.
I mean, what other number would I choose? (It looks more purple in the flesh)
I’d enjoyed myself at their opening event last year, and had been kicking around the character idea for most of that time. it appealed owing to the contrast between the more reserved members of staff and a sports obsessed yobbo (Albeit one magically trained) with the short version being “What if HG Nelson taught at [THE MAGIC SCHOOL THAT SHALL NOT BE NAMED]?” I’d submitted it to the admins, asking more if I was on the right track than expecting to be given the OK, and to my eternal surprise it was accepted, with a terrifying speed. Learning later the amount of trust they’d put in me, that they saw what I’d brought to the last game and thought my idea could work, was incredibly flattering, and far from the last compliment I’d receive. Still getting used to that. As long time readers may know, I have a teeny problem with self esteem.
So, what happened? Dancing, wizardry, a mechanical beast came to life, strange creatures appeared and cursed items ran amok. Horses, of a sort, cute (and unexpectedly vicious) animals, shouting, far too much rain and some good old fashioned Aussie racism. It’ll make some sort of sense when explained. The Friday was setup and student arrival. A lesson in basic spellcasting took place (as some folks missed it last year which meant they were in strife) followed by after hours shenanigans. There was a request to NPC a Yowie, who was being summoned by the Spiritual Dorm as part of their hazing of new students, with some ‘extra Aussie’ flavour asked for. Challenge accepted! He was meant to be creepy at first, then funnier, but once I got a laugh I couldn’t stop. What followed was regular abuse, insults (*sniffs players hand* “Smells virginal”), some revelations (“How’d you get the name Yowie?” “I dunno, I walk up to folks, they yell “YOWIE!” and run like fuck.”) and more abuse of white people in general. This lead to the recurring question “Are all Yowie’s racist?” and if I had $5 for every time that was asked over the weekend… The summoning circle was broken (as planned) and I escaped, with a loud cry of “Jokes on you dickheads, I’m free again!” It was glorious fun getting to unleash that inner yobbo.
And that’s the only mention she’ll get!
Saturday morning was Magical Foci with Professor Emberleaf, and that was a joy. She’s a wonderful calming presence and as awful as I am at arts and crafts, it was oddly soothing putting something together. Far as I’m concerned, it’s a relaxing amulet to be placed over the dressing room door after a game that helps sooth wounds and tempers. Cursed Objects was next, which meant I was helping with scrying. In short, students were sitting around a table talking to the object in question in a positive tone while crew walked around making noises and trying to put them off. This would last for 10 minutes, with the tension being ratcheted up every 2. The temptation to whisper in people’s ears “Who are you?” and “What do you want?” was presented, and I jumped at it. We almost made one group literally jump when we gently lifted then dropped the table they were sitting around. *maniacal cackle*
I’m artistic!
Rain meant the Magical Creatures excursion had to take place indoors, but we coped. I can’t say enough how well everyone coped with the weather, which wasn’t great. A Quetzalcóatl’s eggs were on display, and the mother herself paid us a visit (a fantastic piece of puppetry courtesy of the Magical Creatures professor). A pair of her eggs went missing, and it seemed as if the rest were about to be stolen, but I missed the rest of that plot line. IIRC Saturday also saw the Horse curse. Basically, a cursed item had gotten loose, and if you touched it, you believed you were a horse. At one point there was half a dozen of them, students and faculty members alike, prancing about. A staff member timed it beautifully walking up to them playing The Horses on his phone just as the chorus started. *chef kiss* Then it was club time, dinner and the school dance, which meant time for Coach to dress fancy!
I am darkness. I am the night. I am Coach!
The dance brought shenanigans, dancing and some light drugging of the inspector who’d come for an OHS look at the school. Oh, and a return appearance from the Yowie. Emerging from the darkness as ‘Every Breath You Take’ played was a beautiful accident I couldn’t have managed if I tried. So, for some folks the first words they heard the Yowie speak was a loud “WHAT THE FUCK? Even I know that’s a song about stalking!” My personal dislike of the playlist bled over, which meant when asked what music he did like, the response was something like “the primal elemental sound of this country. I believe they call it Acca Dacca!” There was more banter, the discovery of his true name (I panicked for some reason and said Artorius, which I’m retconning to Artie) and getting a slightly supercharged spell to send him home. “You hear a loud cry of ‘Fuuuuuuuuuuccccckkkkkk’ as he disappears.” The super secret faculty after party was crashed by students, and I headed for bed. I’m really hoping the Yowie cameos in future games – I have a head canon vision of him storming into the next dance, marching up to the DJ and demanding “I want a song about a very special lady, and I want it now!” Several minutes of frenzied air guitar later, he vanishes into the night, and I immediately chug a large energy drink/consume half a tins worth of Milo (NOT Kerrigan) to replace what I’ve just sweated. Rock and roll.
Needless to say, I was slightly impaired come Sunday. There was breakfast (Did I mention the event is catered?) and more NPC duty, this time as an automaton with the spirit of the previous Cursed Objects animating it. A long trek out to the woods, waiting followed by more waiting (Some students had activated a curse), but seeing the looks on their faces as it began to move was worth it. There was conversation on the long walk back, and he told the emotional story of his life before and during the scrying ceremony. I cheerfully admit to stealing the entire thing lock stock and barrel from an episode of Crusade, but hearing afterwards that I’d made some of them cry made all the waiting and sweating (By Crom, I’d forgotten just how much sweat dripping in your eyes stings) inside the costume worth it. I was crying too, before you ask.
Enough said.
We also got to be extra creepy during one of the scryings, which was to investigate a cricket ball that had the soul of a small child (I think, I missed a lot of that plot last year) inside. I can imagine that having your eyes closed while 3 people whisper variations on “Mummy, are you there? I’m scared. Mummy, where are you? Mummy, they keep hitting me.” in your ears isn’t fun, but points to the players for somehow not cracking. It was a toss up between that and the specimen jar one, for which I was whispering “I just wanted a chance in life like you. All they do is slice me open and stitch me up again. I can still feel the scalpels…” I remain very glad I was on that end of the ceremony, as I’m all but certain I’d have cracked and fled screaming.
Note: There’s a lot of care taken at the event, with players inputting a list of their dislikes beforehand, and we crew do our best to stay away from them. Also, if you need to step away, you’re more than welcome to put the hand up and walk, no questions asked. Self care is important. The opening for my class stressed there would be coarse language and physical activity, with an overall message of ‘If you aren’t up for it, I don’t need a reason why.”
I don’t have a name for it, but it was $8 very well spent.
Before I’d realised, it was time for Phys Ed, my class, and in the words of one of Australia’s leading stuntmen, “I don’t have the brown underpants on for nothing!” Mercifully the weather had cleared up, and after an opening warning and the casting of a spell of my own devising, that being “Sobrietus, In Extremis”*, we were on! There was sorting them into teams, some meditation and testing how awakened their sense were, by blindfolding half, with the others hurling spell balls at them. It went surprisingly well, with some lovely dexterity on display. A 3-legged race brought out their competitive spirit, with spells being hurled back and forth. Frisbee dodgeball followed and Hot (Potato) Component finished up, with me giving the trophy to 2 players who’d both admitted to taking performance enhancing potions earlier that day. Whoops?
My voice was slightly shot and I was a nervous wreck, but it went really well, and I’m already plotting how to make next years bigger and better, with more audience participation and less illegal doping. Hopefully there’ll be more nicknames, with one player who’d been channelling Elle Woods (Complete with matching Phys Ed lycra – I hadn’t expected her to participate, let alone match outfits) known as Barbie, her more goth compatriot was Wednesday and the school’s resident sports nut, who’s name was Flash, became “Gordon’s Alive.” Hearing people laugh at that damn near made my event. That film is sacred in my house, to the extent there’s a good chance any use of the phrase “I love you” is answered with “But we only have 14 hours to save the Earth!”
And it was over, and back to reality. Harrumph. I should sleep now, so I’ll keep you in anticipation for part 2 of the Festival of the Wand, where too much magic is barely enough!
*It was then pointed out the the punch at the dance was non-alcoholic. As it was fey brewed, I stand by my actions.
To be aware, this entry will contain minor spoilers for the Fast and the Furious films. You have been warned.
For Feng Shui related reasons, the Fast and the Furious binge watch has continued. I still haven’t watched Tokyo Drift, and for some reason Netflix here doesn’t have F9, but does have Fast X and the Hobbs and Shaw spin off. Crom spare me, I may have to buy the damn things at some point*, if only for the DVD commentaries which hopefully hint at the rumoured feud between several of the leading men about them not being less macho on screen than the others. Rumour has it there’s agreements where one person can’t take as many punches as the other – testosterone poisoning is a funny thing, isn’t it?
I continue to be amused that it’s gone from a series about illegal street racers, some of whom seem to be allergic to sleeves, and that runs almost entirely on the male gaze. (Yes, there’s plenty of buff dudes in tight clothing for those who like that sort of thing, but they’re vastly outnumbered by the scantily clad ladies. I’m reminded of the series Chuck, which I remember enjoying back in the day (And by that I mean the late 2000’s/early 2010’s), but that’s been retrospectively poisoned for me by stars Adam Baldwin and Zachary Levi’s embrace of the far right. I’m more likely to re-watch Burn Notice (Which has it’s own male gaze issues, but also features Bruce Campbell) or Leverage in any case. *sighs* Not everyone is as wonderful as Mark Hamill readers, remember that.
But I digress. So, the films go from a barely plausible series about street racers, to one where two loosely defined ‘agents’ have to team up to stop a cybernetically enhanced madman who has what is functionally a robot motorbike. I get it, the sequel has to go bigger, but surely there’s a point at which you stop, right? NOPE. I feel confident in saying these films throw that, like physics and reality, out the nearest high window at a great speed. There’s the 2 cars dragging a 10 ton safe while being pursued through the streets of Rio in one film, which is in turn topped in a later entry by the driving of a car out the window off a stupidly giant building in Dubai, into and through another building and then into a third stupidly giant building at which point the heroes finally leap out of the car. And I haven’t mentioned the incident with the Predator drone…
There’s no synopsis I can give that will match Grant ‘Honey Heist’ Howitt’s spectacular write up of the first 7 films, but I’m seriously considering adding a mechanic that gives players a bonus to driving checks when they mime changing gears, ala the shot gun rule.
Feng Shui 2nd Ed’s weapon damage table.
I do have a massive bone to pick with them though. Seeing Helen Mirren appear was a joy, even if was an extended cameo but that pales in comparison to Fast 8, in which Charlize Theron plays some sort of cyber terrorist, but who spends more time at a keyboard than with a weapon in hand and that is not what I watch a Charlize Theron film for. Yes, I believe she reappears later in the series, but still. It just seems a phenomenal waste. Maybe that’s why I’m not in charge of the franchise, which is probably a good thing.
So. I’ve begun writing the pitch, have been making character notes and ensuring the game starts with a fight scene. I should start learning the system as well, but I’m borrowing one of my gaming groups to run the back of the book adventure in December, which should help with that. Gonna log off here and start making more notes for that.
Be seeing you…
*As well as the Expendables films, but fortunately 3 out of the 4 are on Netflix at the moment. Based on their trajectory, I’m expecting the 4th, which I haven’t seen yet, to be the worst. Though it can’t possibly be as as bad as XXX: The Return of Xander Cage, which was so damned awful I couldn’t stomach any more after about half an hour. Copies of Hard Boiled and The Killer (I have much to thank the late 90’s SBS Saturday night cult movie slot for, but introducing me to the work of Chow Yun-Fat is in the top 5) have been ordered and will hopefully wash the bad taste of that out of my mouth. Gunpowder Milkshake is next on the watch list till they arrive, and I should probably re-watch Shoot ‘Em Up while I’m at it. Might add The A-Team and The Losers to the list as well.
So, my last two weekends have been at gaming based conventions – the first, playing at Phenomenon, the second, working a booth at PAX Australia. Therefore, it’s recap time!
Pheno continues to be a delight, both in terms of the people there and the quality of games. They went the gamut from an alien beauty contest, at which I was a very stressed intern, to a new Persephone (Damn intense game, but I expect nothing less from the GM team) to an Orcish drummer. There was an inter species relationship (I was a werewolf, he was a vampire), mostly to spite her father. Also, it was a fake, to disguise the actual relationship I’d entered into late game. It made sense at the time. I even managed to come away with two player awards, which was lovely for my ego. (Though to be fair, I think I only managed that cause Niece couldn’t make it this year. Both her and my wife are tremendously skilled lumberjacks*) It’s always nice to have the recognition, to feel as if I was doing something right in the eyes of the GM, even if in both awards this year it was a team effort. For one game, a lot of political arguments, and my confusion at most of the table not realising I was referencing Raiders of the Lost Ark at one point, but we used our ultimate power to create the Scales of Equality, a magic item to even the odds, so to speak. The rich get poorer, and the poor get richer. Idealistic, I know, but it made sense in the game. The second was less a team effort, and more a 3/4’s of the team effort. I’ll explain.
The game was based around a group of Bards in a D&D setting, and the GM is well known for his love of the pun. So, when the music puns started to sing (About, oh, 2 and a half seconds into the game), we turned up the amps in response. Except for my wife, who spent most of the session head in her hands, horrified at what was unleashed. I have no defence, other than we felt entitled to return fire. There’s a reason her prize certificate said ‘For courage under fire’ after all. It’s not that I’m a regular user of the pun, but it’s possible I’ve listened to a few too many pun runs from The Bugle and something has infected me. At least, that’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it. Another highlight for me was speaking in Orcish for the first time IC – the character spoke broken Common, but intellectual Orcish, so going from “Me think you no say good” to “I say good fellow, might we settle this without any unnecessary violence?” in a proper RP accent, was delightful.
Only flaw in the con was my coming sick on the Sunday night, which marred my Monday with a lot of irritating coughing and concern about my health. Took the shine off the after party as well – between the coughs and the way my back was hurting from said coughing, it wasn’t as fun as they usually are. There was good news though, amidst the regular banter and debriefing. The good news being, I have an idea for next year, and it’s positively rational! But more about that later.
Turning to PAX, I got back from Pheno, slept the rest of the day, then the day after was on a flight to Melbourne that evening.. Setup, as always, is painful, but getting to talk to people about games can be wonderfully soothing. my abiding memory of the con being people’s faces experiencing the back cover blurb for Eat the Reich, which ranged from slack-jawed confusion at what the hell did I just read, to full blown “SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY!” Also, near every time I got to talk about it, I’d get the theme to The A-Team in my head. My only regrets, outside of not having more spending money (There was a LARP arming sword that was taunting me the entire con), was not seeing the Owlbear that I’d heard was at the Drachenfest booth. The dragons they had were lovely, but OWLBEAR! I did buy a very cute small plush one, my wife feels we’re on the way to a large collection. Overall, loud and exhausting, with rather overpriced food, but a lot of fun. Looking forward to next year.
Returning to the game idea. Some of my favourite moments as a GM have been when players added to the event, contributing ideas, noodle incidents or bits of canon. It’s a wonderful feeling when players add stuff, even if it’s a better idea than what I had, makes me feel like they’re getting into the spirit of things. I’ve had no small amount of them, ranging from “Was it the Mole-men?” to “We need to drive faster. Somebody give the engine a sandwich.” So, what about a game based on that premise and built on action movie logic? A game that uses a system I’ve not run before, like Feng Shui? *drum roll* Oh yes, that’s exactly the plan.
The idea is simple: it’s the third film in an action movie trilogy, an Expendables-esque** combination of explosions, quips and 10 thousand rounds per 10 round magazine. There’s existing PC relationships, old comrades, grudging team mates and a romance or two, if they have the guts to admit they care about each other. Good drama. At least, I hope. The twist is, the events of the previous 2 films, any Disney+ spin offs or ill advised prequels etc, are determined during play each session. How they met the villain, how much property damage was done in his capture and the full horror of his dastardly world conquering scheme, it’s player driven. I like the idea of getting their input, of making every session really different. Haven’t gotten much further, but there’s a lot of thoughts. Do I set a guideline for what style of event people want at the start? For example, we have three settings: 1: Relatively gritty. 2: 80’s Arnie. 3: Utterly bat-shit insane.
That seems like a good idea, but I know how tired I get near the end of a con, and things get extra whacky no matter what. I’ve had a couple of people say they’d like to request my last session, to see what sort of insanity they can cook up when I’m near exhaustion. That also goes for the setting – did you encounter the villain when he murdered your brother in an underground fighting tournament, or when you fell through a dimensional portal and found yourselves punching Mordred in King Arthur’s court? It’ll certainly test my GM improv skills and not confusing relationships in each session to session could be a nightmare, but I’m liking the idea. Character ideas are coming, and the research… I really should have watched The Old Guard sooner, but that’s led me down a “I need more Charlize Theron kicking ass in my life” path, which has meant I’m finally watching the Fast and the Furious films. I’d be lying if I thought they started well, but I’m up to Furious 6, having skipped Tokyo Drift, and the more over the top they’ve gotten, the more I’m enjoying them. Still early stage enthusiasm, but I’m hoping to hang onto that for as long as I can, so I’m ready to pitch next year. Feels good to have an idea again. Feels real good.
Lastly, Ravenswood have announced another event for neat year, which means I should probably do some more work on the NPC sports teacher idea I had after the last event. *commences idle googling for props and costume*
Be seeing you…
* A piece of slang from the old times, when convention trophies were blocks of wood. ** Let’s be fair here: it may start as The Expendables, but we all know within about 30 seconds it’ll become Hot Shots Part Deux and I’m OK with that.
It feels weird that I haven’t submitted an event for Pheno. I mean, I’ve had ideas, but they were more fragments, such as running a sequel to a game that didn’t happen, where the players construct/have flashbacks to the previous adventure as they go through and not a worthy scenario. Yes, jokes about what happened in the last movie can be amusing, but without a solid framework of an idea, a scenario, that’s not enough for me. I guess it’s my head’s way of saying you’re taking a break? It’s not that I’m not looking forward to playing again, I enjoy that, but there’s something special about GMing at cons that sparks joy. The wonder, the variety, of seeing groups deal with things in different ways. It makes me happy, and almost die from laughter. Seems odd is all, given I haven’t had any inclination for running something at home again. I mean, I have plans, but haven’t had the brain to put them into practice. Damn brain.
True, it’s been a stressful last few weeks, with knowing the submission deadline is coming and issues with work and home. Far too many people in my life coming down sick, to say nothing of how many were sick the day of my birthday event. I was damn glad anyone made it there were so many “I’m sorry, but we’re sick” messages. (I don’t blame anyone, to be clear – I’d rather you stay home and get well than force yourselves out) The day itself was enjoyable, Wyrmspan is a fun game (Tiny Dragons!) and The Court Jester went down a storm. Given this year’s film choices were mostly swashbuckling, I’m tempted to make the choices a genre next year, with sci-fi, schlock and sword and sorcery among them. Though to be fair I can likely find something that’ll combine all 3 in one. A new tradition has also been started, that of a late night classic series Doctor Who, with The Ark in Space being chosen. It nearly got horribly derailed, given I jokingly mentioned liking them too much to subject them to Timelash, but maybe there’ll be a night when they need to see Paul Darrow chewing the entirety of BBC Television Centre after he runs out of scenery. I’m also oddly proud of the playlist I put together, as putting it together involved answering questions like “It’s a party – we probably don’t need the theme to The Prisoner.” Also, there’s only 3 versions of Run to the Hills, which I consider to be very restrained on my part.
Distractions have helped somewhat, though the theming was accidental. Between showing my wife Ghostbusters: Afterlife, picking up the remaster of the Xbox game and getting to see Frozen Empire, my brain has been stuck on “Who you gonna call?” In short: we both really enjoyed Afterlife, I adore the Xbox game, despite some issues, with the background banter between the team a highlight. I’m not sure what I find funnier, the jokes about how often Ray get’s possessed or that you can interact with the painting of Vigo in the fire house, that Max Von Sydow recorded new dialogue for. As for Frozen Empire, it wasn’t bad, but felt overstuffed with characters and had a few too many nods to the original film for my tastes. Yes, I’m aware that’s doppelganger check time for me, who lives in the past as much as possible, but even I have my limits. Who’d have thought? This has naturally snowballed into me digging up a PDF of the old RPG, some idle googling of has anyone run a live action version, and wondering how you’d represent proton packs and traps in a LARP. I can see some sort of GM controlled Bluetooth device for the PKE meters (The louder it gets the more energy is nearby, as a general thing), but the proton packs is something else. Maybe MacGyvering a laser tag system, or hi-vis on the ghost costumes that needs to be illuminated by torches on the stream throwers for a certain chunk of time? Either way, the establishment of a new branch seems like a good start for a game and it’s been added to the ever growing list of game ideas I have. Also, I enjoyed the 2016 film, still want to be like Holtzman when I grow up and hope that someday we’ll see a proton pack rigged for a left hander.
Speaking of LARP, things are up in the air. Ravenswood hasn’t sold many tickets yet so who knows (Though I did test my costume when I was acting as the Responsible Adult at Niece’s 16th birthday party), Lost Settlers hasn’t announced dates yet and I fucked up slightly and bought a ticket to Heilung in Sydney for a ritual halfway through Drachenfest. Ooops. I’m going to be good though, and not scalp the ticket for a pile of cash as a relative suggested. That leaves Concord in September, and while I know at least one person thinking of going, the nation she and her husband are looking at is the one I have the least ideas for. So, I can go with that and know someone, or throw myself into the unknown, but with a nation I’m keener on. *ponders* Taking the second option will mean there’s another chance to wear my giant hat, which is tipping the scales somewhat. Then it’s the old issues of working out what parts of the event I want to play in, creating a working character, and not an excuse just to buy more weapons and another cloak. As if I need a reason for that!
“Man walks down the street in a hat like that, you know he’s not afraid of anything …“
I could talk more, but it’s well past time for bed. Be seeing you…
Phenomenon is over for another year, and it’s back to reality once again. Booooo! 11 sessions in total, and I was running for all of them I think it’s my first time being fully booked at a convention. As always, massive thanks go out to my players, the con orgs and my play-testers. You’re all worth your weight in gold. By the end, I was, I think, 2 players short of fully booked, a feat which is both incredibly flattering and utterly terrifying. Despite the terror, it’s been a good few days for my ego, with numerous compliments flowing my way afterwards, one saying my game last year inspired his game this year, to say nothing of hearing one guy had adapted and re-run one of my old ones for his home group, so the legend of Tarrasque lives on. My throat has mostly recovered from all the talking, shouting and laughing (A couple of other GM’s briefly lost there’s) and a massive chunk of today has been spent napping to recuperate. The older I get, the more time I need. So, how did it go, I hear you ask?
It was a joy. There’s the usual first couple of session nerves, and the last session exhaustion and insanity. I had one person say in future they’d try to book my last session and I’m choosing to take that as a compliment. First session there was stress, as I realized I’d forgotten to print the stat sheets, Fortunately I still had the playtest versions with me, so with some addition the stopgap solution worked and an early morning Officeworks visit fixed it. They’re a godsend. The two late Sunday sessions left me with a bad dose of ‘can’t sleep, too anxious’ which is never a fun situation. I don’t think anything went particularly wrong in them, though a couple of sessions did go long. Poor time management, too much anecdoting and not moving things forward owing to players having fun are long term problems of my GMing. There was a wonderful moment where a long term player gently reminded me of my knack for over-anecdotes, and if you’re reading this, I really appreciate the tact of it. Also, it could have been finding that Niece, Age 15, chose the femme fatale character in her session not realizing that when I said her partners have a tendency towards accidents, I meant that she arranges them. Whoops. She did really well, but as it was my first time running for her there was a little extra nerves. The event itself was an experiment at running something a bit darker, with some more depth than my usual fare. Now, while I threw out most of that tone about 1.3 seconds in, it was still there in the characters, and a few players jumped in and worked with it, some incredibly well.
Don’t get me wrong, the ones who didn’t did nothing wrong. However the player reads the sheet and forms an interpretation of the character, that’s fine by me. There wasn’t any sort of “I don’t think the character would do that’ thing. I’ve not had that at Pheno, short of the guy who made a Holocaust reference during a Tarrasque session. For the life of me, I can’t remember who it was, but it was gratifying to see the rest of the table immediately join me in shutting it down, and he didn’t try to bring it up again. It’s a collaborative experience, between player and GM, and that variety is one of the joys of it. Half the reason I keep coming back is the variety, of seeing what each group does, where they take things. You can run an adventure 10 times, for 10 different groups and get 10 different solutions to the problem. The adrenaline hit when that ‘they want to do what?’ moment kicks in, it’s a hell of a thing.
Some sessions had less dice rolling than normal, with the last few mostly being descriptive and the dice kept for the really important stuff. I attempted, on the advice of my playtesters, a flashback mechanic, which sometime worked. There was even one guy who was familiar with the system, which was a first. Being fully booked is shattering, but the feeling of being in demand is wonderful. The sense of ‘all these people want to experience what I’ve written’, no matter how many I run, I still get butterflies in the stomach. I’ve talked about having a co-GM for tabletops so I can have a rest or run a few more sessions, but it doesn’t feel right for me. This may sound arrogant, but I feel that a large part of my event’s popularity is my GM style, and while I’m sure other GM’s could do a wonderful job at it, certainly with more intensity and rules knowledge, it wouldn’t be me. I’ve heard talk of GM’s running each others games, or all writing games based on a single blurb and seeing how things go. Hell, I’ve contemplated “Gav’s con game roulette”, where the players show up and a random con game of mine is chosen. Prize giving was, as always, a nightmare. Everyone was deserving of an award, and I do try to give at least 2 each con to people I’ve not run for before. Encouraging newbies is a good thing.
Selected highlights and quotes follow: The prison break where three people all claimed to be the lover of one very unsuspecting prisoner. The session where the Cardinal wasn’t played by Tim Curry, but Tom Baker. “You’ve performed a wonderful service for Galli-France.” To say nothing of “Consider it done, and I didn’t even need the sonic screwdriver!” Commenting how the prisoner has been worked over to an extent the NSW Police Force would think excessive. Yes, I did re-watch Blue Murder recently, and yes, I wasn’t proud of that line. The use of the phrase “Upside down Miss Jane” in an incredibly unsettling accent, which prompted my response “It puts the squiggle in the basket or it get’s the hose again.” The last session who engaged with my internal logic of the game being a low budget 1970’s BBC show like no other. I returned from a toilet break to find them explaining the actors had a tea break, not to mention the grumbling about other actors getting better fitted costumes and how they should have read their contracts. Each session having at least 1 George Takei cameo, with him in perfect renaissance garb commenting “Oh my…”. I don’t recall why it started, but by session 2 it became a challenge to work it in. Bardcore versions of Yackety Sax, Eye of the Tiger and Hot For Teacher.
“Storming the Bastille sounds like a dangerous idea.” “I dunno, it sounded revolutionary”
“The voice over says The Cardinal’s boys are in a fine mess.” “Well, the tricolour is painted on the roof of the carriage, the General De-Gaulle…”
“Caught on fire.” “Cordon bleu!”
“There’s butter in every room.’ “Well, we are in Paris and it could be the last tango.”
“It is a wonderful day in the Bastille and you are a terrible poltergoost.”
“I lost my liver in a poker game to Oliver Reed.”
“The best way in is going to be as a prisoner. Any volunteers?” ‘Alright, I’ll be the prisoner.” *punches the Guard in the face* ‘I’m not wearing that uniform, fuck it I’ll punch him too!”
“I’m gonna take him out the washerwoman exit.’ ‘I’ve not heard it called that before…”
“French maids outfit, French maids outfit, German maids outfit.” “I’VE COME TO CLEAN YOUR ROOM. JAH VUHL!”
“That’s what you can’t read it, it’s in Comic Sans.”
“Still, life could always be worse. We could be English!” *loudly spits*
*A purse of coins has just been retrieved from a prison wallet* “That’s the shittiest business deal in history.”
More quotes will no doubt follow, as the document was extensive. I’m having ideas for next year, but none of them are at a working stage yet. Mostly they seem to be freeforms, as I’d love to get a chance to play (and nap) again. I’ve an idea for another Babylon 5 one, and am kicking round ideas for one set in the ‘Cold War spies, but with magic’ idea I had a while back. I still haven’t had a game where I can wear the wand holster I own, and I may have to write the damn thing myself in order to. Based on the post con chatter, there’s a lot of freeforms being planned. Who knows, there’s plenty of time to decide.
Time for bed. Good night. Sleep well. I’ll most likely kill you in the morning. Be seeing you.
“All of life can be broken down into moments of transition, or moments…of revelation. This had the feeling of both.” Babylon 5 – Z’Ha’Dum
Alright, I grant you that’s a portentous way to begin a long, long overdue update. But I have had a revelation, a most enjoyable one in fact. I spent the recent long weekend in Adelaide, at a LARP called Path of the Warden, and bugger me with a fish fork it was the most fun I’ve had in a long, long time. It seemed like one of those “Oh, after all this time this is the sort of thing I’m into” kind of moments. It was one of those times when everything gels – the venue, orgs, players, rules set and mood, just clicked. And I’m going to talk about it, at length, so STRAP IN KIDDIESIT’S ABOUT TO GET GEEKY.
Now, I know I’ve talked about it in the past, but that was the past and you may need a refresher. The setting is heavily inspired by The Witcher series, with a grim and dangerous world in which monsters are real, the Elves are all dead (Whoops…) and humanity’s saviour is an order of monster hunters, called the Wardens, who are organised into 3 schools. 1: The Ox. Heavily armoured and enhanced by potent mutagenic elixirs, they use two-handed weapons to crack through the toughest of monster hides. 2: The Raven. Adept at using rune-casting, the only school of magic available to humans. 3: The Serpent. The support staff, who brew potions, patch wounds and keep an eye on everyone else.
So, what actually happened? Well, there was swordplay, alchemy and sorcery. Brewing potions, studying ancient and terrifying lore. Desperate battle against savage beasts, frantic moments of terror, hands slick with the blood of grievously wounded comrades. Ghosts, monsters and an oddly lovable Harpy. A Troll who’s death was mourned. Death. Romance. An engagement. New and swiftly dear friends. Excitement and an unexpectedly massive emotional investment in my character from yours truly. It was a bloody good way to spend a long weekend. I don’t have enough time or space to give a full highlight reel, but I’ll try to summarise the highlights.
To start with, the rules were a joy. Simple, elegant and easy to get the hang of. None of this counting hit points stuff (Not that there’s anything wrong with that), but a more Nordic approach – if you take a light hit in the limb, you roleplay pain. Take a big hit (AKA, a two handed laboured strike with an appropriate yell, or a hit from a large creature), the limb is incapacitated, and a really big hit, it’s shattered and you’re down and/or screaming. See, simple. So long as everyone is up for the roleplay, right? Not having to count my hit points, or worry about what target zones don’t count (Obviously head and groin shots are banned) – it felt really freeing, and a lot more dangerous. Now, if you’re armoured, you can tank a certain amount of blows that hit the armour. Note, that doesn’t make you invulnerable though. Repeated blows will crack open even plate armour. This sort of thing can lead to hilarious situations, such as me on the Saturday night having my right arm savaged by a blow from a Necrophage (A cannibal mook, in short), and my left broken by a blow from a Troll. (A Troll who was previously a member of the Wardens, one of the Ox school who had overdosed on mutagens. STEVE WAS PEOPLE! PEOPLE!) Myself and another PC bonded over our various wounds that night, a moment which led to something wonderful, but more about that later.
The GM’s and crew were bloody lovely. I was nervous as all hell in the lead up to the event, with various shades of panic rattling through my head (Is my character sensible, will my kit match the standard?), so to be welcomed so wonderfully helped put my mind at ease. The players were also universally lovely and a pile of them have swiftly become near and dear friends. We fought together, bled together and triumphed together and that’s bonding. There was inclusivity (IC and OC pronouns were asked for and given), mechanics for escalation and de-escalation of roleplay were explained, combat demonstrations and how hard to hit given for those who’ve not gamed with them before. All wonderful stuff, and really appreciated.
And now, the event itself. We were playing trainees of the Wardens, the next generation of monster hunters. Some of us were here willingly, some to avoid the noose. Actually, about half of us were there to avoid the noose, my character among them. I was playing my regular well dressed idiot, who went by the name of Audemar DuLac, but with a scoundrel bent to him – a bit of Lando Calrissian, a pinch of Rick O’Connell and a lot of me. It’s easy to play, fit within the setting and meant I wasn’t too far from my comfort zone. Also, I had a very fine hat.
Hello there…
We had come to train, to learn and hopefully carry on the Warden’s mission, and were told that not all would survive, which we found out pretty damn quick during sword training when a PC tried to grab the instructor’s blade and got his throat cut for his trouble. Turned out later he was an NPC plant, but it sure as hell felt real at the time. There was a lot of learning on Day 1, how to use a sword, not eat leaves offered by Satyrs or accept deals with them unless you’re incredibly careful (Bargaining a rare flask of whiskey having eaten a leaf that was an aphrodisiac was worth it, though IC concealing a boner most of the day got awkward.) Mercifully the Lore Master had arranged that all deals were non-binding, but we’ll come back to the Satyr later*.
If the effects of Satyr Leaf last longer than 4 hours, please, see a doctor.
There followed lessons in rune-casting and potion making, which was the first massive revelation of how much work went into this event: we were actually making potions. Potions class was laid out with a mortar and pestle, small cauldron and other accoutrements at each table and we proceeded to crush, stir and brew up healing juice, known as Gulp. For someone used to collecting laminated tags in the woods this was fucking stunning and incredibly immersive. I believe the stuff was actually drinkable, but I, like several others, went for the role play option. The day passed in a blur of learning – target practise against a Necrophage, and combat training against a Troll. Both beasts were chained, though the guy holding back the Troll was about half the Troll’s weight, leaving him looking like he’d break free at any moment, and did, in the case of one PC who got badly mangled by him. That night brought forth dinner, bloody combat and the Troll both breaking loose and my arm. Bonding happened, more of the results of which will follow. A good first day.
There was a 6 month IC time gap between days 1 and 2, which my character had spent setting up a small black market on the garrison. Nothing heretical, just booze, party drugs, smut and birth control – important stuff for a lonely outpost in the middle of nowhere. Other PC’s spent their time doing things like teaching illiterate PC’s to read, the do-gooding chumps. (I kid, it was lovely) There is a further development though – remember the mention of the broken arm thing? Another PC I was in there with queried that morning as to whether we’d bonded further in the intervening time, and why not? Hell yeah I’m up for character development and connections. That led to discreet inquiries with the GM’s about relationships within the Wardens and I’m getting ahead of myself. Day 2 was more training, brewing fresh potions and extracting Troll fat. From the Troll. He’d had prosthetic wounds placed over his body, which we had to cut open, shift past the ‘muscle’ tissue (Blood soaked cotton wool I believe) and squeeze out the fat from underneath, and let me tell you, playing nauseated at that was VERY FUCKING EASY. Major points for immersion though. By that stage, we had chosen our Paths and were ready to begin, which involved reciting the oath and taking a dose of pepper to the tongue. Ow. Next up, emotions!
You see, as Serpents it’s part of our job to keep the others alive and the Run of the Ox (AKA their initiation) doesn’t always go well. So, when one of the Ox collapsed in front of me and we couldn’t save him, it was devastating. The PC had started as arrogant jerk, but his mauling by the Troll had cooled his blood somewhat. As I said at his funeral, he was an arrogant, overdressed jerk, but was one of us damnit. The surviving Ox hearing that only 1 died this year was a shock to them, as much as it was that they had to do the pepper test as well, a moment that had several of us Serpents inwardly fist pumping. I’m not sure what the Ravens had to do, I assume more pepper? Late in the day was more monster hunting, our first giant beast, though before that was me telling the PC I’d bonded with that I’d like to spend more time with her if I get back. The rest of my band (Adventuring party of one of each type of Warden) was suitably happy at the good news, and we managed to kill the beast without too much trouble, though a common theme of the hunts were people getting caressed on the inner thigh by the beast. Kinky… (Also, I love the random mechanic used for each hunt. This group may face a glass cannon, the next a tank etc.)
That night’s combat was hellish and stressful – between the Empty One (The Necrophage boss), the Haggard Bride (Long story, and I missed most of it) and the constant ghost attacks we were kept incredibly busy. A brief interlude, aka me telling the PC I’d bonded with I loved her made EVERYTHING WORTHWHILE. Not to mention the potion mistress’s face when I explained why I was shaking. Seriously, romance in LARP can be really fun and you should try it more. Telling the Serpent in my love’s hunting band she’d better keep her alive was a wonderful moment, and getting to play nervously waiting for them to return while we could hear the screams and yells of combat was incredibly stressful and utterly magical.
The Empty One just wants a hug, you know?
My abiding memory of the night, outside of my declaration of love, was of desperate surgery (The prosthetics I described earlier came out a couple more times, though thankfully were just sewing them up this time) and frantically trying to keep everyone alive. To my pride, we didn’t lose a single PC in the medical area that night, though I believe we lost a couple in the field. Healing was mostly warming people up who’d been touched by ghosts, or making sure injured people had taken Gulp. Those worse off had to take Bone Grow, and roleplaying setting a shattered limb back in place, it’s an experience. (As an aside, I really like roleplay healing not being immediate) I was kicking myself IC for not starting a betting pool on one PC, as it seemed he was attached to the med tent by a giant rubber band, so often was he back. I began to bleed pretty badly at a couple of points, shouting at one person that I’d stab them myself to keep them awake, or nearly screaming when it was pointed out to me my love had returned badly wounded. Emotions are wonderful things and I feel them, a lot.
Long and bloody was the night’s combat, unrelenting and brutal. Much blood was shed, both Warden and foe but ultimately we emerged victorious. Post time out drinks and talk followed and reinforced how bloody lovely the group is. Also, I knew none of them beforehand, which means they’d heard none of my gaming stories and my wife wasn’t around to count how many times she’d heard me tell them. *air guitar solo*
Monday was a half day, with another time skip, our IC graduation and choosing our first assignments, at which points we said our goodbyes and walked off into the world. I shed a tear of two of joy. More emotions and photos followed. You’ll be pleased to know my IC lady and I got some of us as a couple, at which point I took off one of my rings and dropped to one knee (I’d warned her beforehand and given her the option of refusal, but I’m really glad she went for it) and oh, there was a mighty squeal of joy from some who noticed. I cannot wait to see the photos, though I’m slightly terrified of what expression is on my face. I was told later I was her first LARP boyfriend, to which I responded I can only hope I’ve set a near unattainable standard for any future ones. The epitome of modesty I am. And then it was pack up, clean up, and back to reality.
I was in no way ready to go back there though. This game has done a number on me, to the extent I’m writing fanfic about my band’s further adventures, something I’ve never felt like doing before. It was a joy, and I can’t thank everyone involved enough. I began as a petty scoundrel who cared not about death and ended up a Warden, proud of my achievements and engaged to a mighty woman. True, it doesn’t take the cake for most emotional damage (Red Sister’s, Black Skies still holds that record), but it came damn close. The most frustrating part was that it was designed as a one-off, and I’ll be gutted if I don’t get to play Audemar again, not just cause I may have some notes on his wedding vows somewhere. (I don’t want it to be a massive part of any future event, but the idea of getting to play it amuses me greatly.)
It was emotional, exhausting and inspiring. I can’t wait to do it again. It’s games like this why I love LARP so damn much.
*My lady may have arranged for a threesome with us and the Satyr when we return. I missed the IC signals during dinner, but when explained was up for it, even without more Satyr leaf.
Look, a lot of my regular updates are about things going wonky, usually my brain. And yes, that continues. Shocked, gambling, winnings etc. So, as a nice change of pace, I thought I’d make this update about a few things that are going right in my life, or that deserve some celebration. Trying to concentrate on the positive is tricky, but needs to be done from time to time. I’m sure my brain will sabotage it soon, but for now I will embrace it. Or in the words of Kurn, son of Mogh, “This is not a time to worry about stabilizers. It is a time to celebrate, for tomorrow we all may die!”
I could listen to Tony Todd read a phonebook. I suspect I am far from alone in that. *ahem* I also suspect that my relative lack of interest in Star Trek: Discovery can in part be traced to the fact it’s Klingons just aren’t hair metal enough for me.
The first big of good news! I graduated at sword! Having recently demonstrated my skills against different opponents, I have qualified as a Scholar in Single Sword and Sword and Dagger. A 2 minute bout may not seem that long, and a kilo may not seem like much to hold up, but that changes quickly. Very quickly. Having an opponent who prefers longsword come at me no holds barred, no beg your pardons was something of a shock and took some frantic adjusting to – I’m used to a more measured offence from the other rapier fencers in my group, and dirty tricks from my instructor.
Either way, I’m all but certain this is the first sporting trophy/certificate I’ve ever gotten that wasn’t participation based and to say I’m pleased by it is something of an understatement. Having your instructor tell me afterwards that at the start of the term he didn’t think I was going to pass, has me feeling, I want to say, pride? Sure, there’s some shock and astonishment as well, but I’m genuinely proud of the achievement and it’s been a while since I’ve felt that about something I did. Last term was full of that sort of thing – bouting against him halfway through he said he had to reach into the top of his bag of dirty tricks to hit me and I walked away from that lesson flying. My wife has already framed the certificate, another reason I love her so much.
Am I a good fencer? Possibly. If I was good I’d dodge more forearm shots, or not give my opponents the opportunity for them in the first place. Am I having fun? A resounding HELL YES.
My wife has noted that swords brings me more joy than well, near anything, right now, even more so than gaming. Physical exercise and I have never been friends, but put a sword in my hand and all of a sudden it becomes something I’m willing and eager to do. Maybe things are just more fun with swords? I do know I’d dearly love the chance to tell the likes of Mandy Patinkin, Oliver Platt and Michael York just how happy their work has made me, and that without them I may never have picked up a rapier. My life is better for having done so, and I can’t thank them enough. I have a blade of my own due at the end of January and the anticipation is killing me.
That fight may even best the Duel on the Cliffs as my favourite cinematic fight, because as jaw dropping as the choreography is, and it’s truly amazing, at no point do Inigo or The Man in Black look like they’re actually trying to kill each other. Yes, I’m aware they’re both Flynning, I’ve read the book, but that’s not the point. The point is, I watch the above clip and Michael York genuinely looks like he’s trying to kill Christopher Lee and that make it feel more authentic. Plus it’s one of the few cinematic duels I’ve seen where both participants are exhausted by the end of it and I bloody love that touch. I’d dearly love a comprehensive making of documentary for the films, as I’ve read numerous different accounts of injuries, actors having to double for their stunt doubles or the conversation between Oliver Reed and Christopher Lee that went something like: Then I said to Oliver, ‘Do you remember who taught you how to use a sword?’ He said, ‘You did.’ And I said, ‘Don’t you forget it.’ I want, nay need, the full version of that story.
Going from steel swords to foam, I’ve booked at an upcoming LARP, Path of the Warden. It’s a 3 and a bit day event loosely inspired by The Witcher series, running in SA mid next year and I’m kind of excited. It was a fairly spur of the moment thing – I’ve been waiting for Swordcraft Brisbane to announce dates, this one was running and I need things in the calendar to keep me going, so yeah… There’s a structure to the event that appeals, as my big issue with large events is “What do I actually do?” I’m pretty rubbish at things like making my own fun at large events. That’s why while I’m keen to go something like Swordcraft Quest, I’d prefer to go as a group, as if I go solo it’s likely I’ll get overwhelmed, and spend the entire time nervously wandering round and not actually doing anything. Hence the appeal of Warden. Now comes the frustrating part – what character do I play? The eternal struggle begins again.
There’s three base classes, or Warden Schools – The Ox, who are all big weapon potion make strong smashy smashy, the Raven, who use rune magic to empower their weapons*, and the Serpent, alchemists and healers, more support staff. Of those three, it’s the Ox and Serpent that interest me more. Initially it was just the Serpent, but then Anvil of Crom came up on my playlist and well, long term readers will have some hint as to the effect that song has on me. Actually, a lot of decisions in my life have revolved around when I last heard Anvil of Crom. I’m still a bit saddened I didn’t get to play it during the Zedtown at the SCG, even if only while the crew made our venue check. Just to hear “Between the time the oceans drank Atlantis, and the rise of the sons of Aryas” and I could have dropped dead happy. I sorely miss that game, though I doubt it will ever return. Alas.
So, characters. The idea I’m currently running with is ‘the spare to the heir who’s determined to do something good in his life’, which is a minor variation on well meaning and very pretty idiot, basically my stock RPG character. It’s got a decent dramatic hook, potential for growth and lets me dress fancy. One of these may be slightly less important than the other, but a large part of why I LARP is costume, so yeah. The second most prominent idea was ‘unrepentant thief who may discover responsibility and comradeship in a good cause’, I’d like to say inspired by Avon and Villa from Blake’s 7 with a tiny dash of Locke Lamora. Mostly the idea of being introduced to the other PC’s while I’m being unlocked from shackles amuses me greatly. You’re finally awake…
There’s the typical flood of other ideas (Former City Watchmen dragged out of retirement and very much Too Old For This Shit was one. I’d need to re-read the City Watch novels if I chose that one, and oh the horror that research would be), but weeding out the one’s that are going to be fun for me to play in the long term has always been far harder than coming up with the ideas in the first place. I’m pleased that a lot of them aren’t based around a piece of kit or weapon – that’s been the downfall of many a character of mine in the past. Playing an older man who’s near death, who has lost everyone in his life and seeks to do something worthy of remembering has a nice dramatic hook, but when it comes to character bleed I’m a haemophiliac, so that one may not work so well. It’s been more than 5 years and I still get a little emotional hearing Sabaton’s Night Witches. if you read this, thank you Melody.
Other issues include the fact that I’m flying there, so while taking large weapons and heavy armour isn’t impossible, it’s certainly inconvenient. Clearly another vote for Serpent. And yet, as I write this, I’m still tempted to clank it up. The War Factory make a gorgeous looking leather cuirass (The one in their store appears to have recently sold), Make Your Own Medieval have a decent breastplate in their discount section, and the overwhelming options begins again. Sigh. What mostly puts me off is how long it’s been since I’ve regularly worn armour and the faint memories of hauling it around. It’s a good drawback to remember, much like how much less kit is needed to fence rapier rather than say, longsword. Still, I’ve time up the sleeve, thankfully.
Moving along, Glass Onion is a sheer delight and immensely satisfying. If you’ve not seen it, or Knives Out for that matter, run and do not walk to do so. And if you’ve no idea what I’m talking about, do so as well. Just don’t watch any trailers – there’s a reveal in the first film you won’t want spoiled. To say it utterly caught my wife and I by surprise when we watched Knives for the first time was something of an understatement. The first things that comes to mind are me nearly falling off the couch laughing during The Fart Song from Bob’s Burgers, or my wife when Kylie Minogue appeared on Galavant. I’m not joking – her jaw dropped in shock and I was genuinely concerned for a second, before she burst out laughing and didn’t stop till the song did.
Every time I watch that show I somehow forget that Timothy Olyphant can sing. Not sure how I can manage that, as he’s a wonderful voice, but that’s my brain for you. Turning to styles of music more my tastes, Skindred and Metallica have both announced new albums and it’s about damn time for both groups. I’m expecting to be disappointed tour dates wise, but new material will help cover that wound. Combine that with the (relatively) recent announcement from Scott Lynch that he’s sent new Gentlemen Bastards material to his editor. By Crom it’s good to have things to look forward to again.
Time for sleep. Night all. Sleep well. I’ll most likely kill you in the morning.
*Also, I don’t think Explosive Runes is a thing in the setting otherwise I’d be all over that.
Pheno. Great Maker, it’s been far too damn long. My throat is sore, the adrenaline is crashing and I’ll like sleep like the dead now that I’m back at home. I hadn’t realized just how much I’d missed that con. The people, the atmosphere, the spirit, the snacks. The mix of familiar and strange. Friends I hadn’t seen since the before times. If you’ve not tried it, I can’t recommend it enough. They’re a lovely, welcoming bunch of weirdoes and long may they remain so. The appeal of conventions for me is games I wouldn’t get to play in my regular group is a massive part of why I keep coming back. The sheer variety of games on offer, and knowing that I’ll only get to play some, well, it’s the price we pay as GM’s. To say I was a bundle of nerves in the lead up was putting it fucking mildly. I’d had my game idea stuck in my head for what seemed like 5 years, and the brain hasn’t been co-operative at the best of times. Terrified of trying something out of my comfort zone, something in a universe that means so much to me, and terrified in general. A deep delve into obscure lore in a section of a near 30 year old TV show that has next to no existing canon? It’s a risk, right? The game itself was finished the night before (Naughty, I know) and in the lead up I kept telling myself that I’d never do anything this ambitious again.
And you know what happened?
It worked.
HOLY ZARQUON SINGING FISH, IT WORKED. The game worked, my players enjoyed themselves, I had a bunch of them costume (Including several home made Minbari head bones) and even the people who hadn’t seen B5 seemed to enjoy things. I had a couple of players say they were going to dive into the lore afterwards and there are few higher compliments to me. It wasn’t till halfway through the first session till I realized that it was working, and I damn near wept with joy. The first time I saw people in costume for my game my jaw hit the floor, and I was still reeling from a “Hey, I’ve heard people saying lovely things about your game” from a GM who’s Night Sisters freeform broke me into tiny little pieces several years ago. I still have trouble hearing something Russian and not getting choked up with emotion, but I’m certain that someone 5 miles away could whisper “The Tales of Ba Sing Se” during a thunderstorm and I’d start to cry. Hearing someone say they took a week off work to costume for your event, I’m glad they told me after the game as I may have collapsed in shock beforehand.
It wasn’t all me though, far from it. I can’t thank my helpers enough. To my Co-GM and proof readers/wranglers, you know who you are and an entire fleet of drinks can’t come close to thanking you for the help, improv and encouragement. If it wasn’t for them, the game would still be a half written Google Doc. Since I’m giving thanks, no mention of this event could not mention J Michael Straczynski and the late Mira Furlan, without whom my event would not have happened. It’s felt through a lot of the writing process I’ve had Furlan looking over my shoulder, saying “Don’t fuck this up” and yeah, it’s added a tiny amount to the pressure. It’s not for me to say whether or not I measured up to the show, but my players enjoyed themselves and that’s what’s important.
We also did our part to foster the next generation by taking Niece, Age 14 with us and given she’d only ever played D&D, to her to walk away with 3 trophies was quite the achievement. We’re very proud of the tiny lumberjack. I asked her afterwards if she was coming back next year as a GM and got a firm “HELL NO”, so given that I figure she’ll be running games in oh, 2-3 years. To top it all off, our team wound up winning the Diptych award, which means Squadron 40 will soon be engraved on that mighty trophy. Naturally, we have to return next year to defend our accomplishment!
As for what happened in game? Look, a lot of it’s a blur. The first 3 sessions elected a different Chosen One to lead the Council, while the 4th session decided they didn’t need one. It wasn’t a unanimous vote, but enough got it over the line. 10 minutes into the first session the Warrior Caste sent their entire fleet out to look for the Shadows. The second session was closest to the show, being more quiet and contemplative (The two introverts did wonderfully) and in session 3 one of the Council punched Ranger One in the face. The two Council members in Session 4 who went to talk to the Vorlon about exploring Z’Ha’Dum, and their faces at it’s response of “Ill advised. Have been warned.” My favourite quote is still “Valen said the Shadows would return. He didn’t say the Vorlons would return.” and look, they aren’t wrong. Seeing the ways my players took the sheets and ran with them, frequently in areas I hadn’t considered, was a joy. It’s one of the big reasons why I GM. There were a few people who’d queried their approaches with me, and to them I say “If that’s the approach you have from reading the sheet, then go for it.” Who am I to stifle player creativity?
I’m still buzzing on a high from the whole thing, and yes, I’m already planning for next year. Before the con I was thinking about going back to swashbuckling, but with the confidence boost I’m in the early stages of planning another Babylon 5 freeform, this one set in the Centauri Royal Court. No, this isn’t just to see what people do costume wise, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t thinking of that. I’m unsure as to the time period, but the current idea is the Emperor is dead, and that’s set the power vacuum to 11. Sure, everyone wants the power of being the Emperor, but no-one wants the giant target on their chest that results from sitting in the big chair. I have a strong feeling I should get a hold of a copy of The Prince for flavour while writing and should prep a bunch of spare characters, as I don’t expect everyone to make it out alive.
It has been a glorious weekend and I am spent. Time for sleep. Be seeing you, my good, dear friends…
shoutybeardything 