Post con crash continues. It could be that, a spike in my depression or general exhaustion, I’m not sure. Maybe I’m getting more social contact through my time at the store, and my system is still adjusting to that. Am I putting too much emphasis on sales reflecting my self worth? Could it have been going straight from Pheno back to work with no recovery time messed with me? Is the unstoppable approach of Christmas even earlier this year making things worse? In the words of Ronnie James Dio, “Who the fuck knows?” Either way, I’ve been tired, unfocused, cranky at times and generally sleepy. Well, more so than normal. I posted about it elsewhere, not wanting to ring any alarms, more talk through it in the hope it’ll move on. While the low mood hasn’t moved on as as far I’d have preferred, I did get a lovely and gratifying amount of support and care shown my way. For some reason that continues to be unexpected, despite the long history of the people in my life being wonderful. I’m sure my wife will say I should expect that, but that’s low self esteem talking!

I’ve made it without buying too much random stuff to try to cheer myself up. Well, mostly. I’ve got a few Sharpe paperbacks from a local second hand bookstore, finally found a copy of The Klingon Art of War that was in my price range (Accursed Ferengi!) and since B5 Books was about to close down, I treated myself to the ‘What the hell happened?’ series about Crusade in digital form. Yes, I normally prefer the physical books, but this meant I could purchase more and I’m still scarred from moving. The deadline helped, otherwise I may have gone for a Captains Coat (Still not sure if wool or cotton), or adding a very pretty axe to my collection. The quest for dopamine is a tricky one, as all too often I buy something, get the minor hit and then get home where it gets added to the pile of other random unused stuff. Yes, I am looking at the stack of LARP weapons I own and have barely used. I really miss LARP – the camaraderie, the stories, the cloaks. It’s a glorious moment heading to an event in costume and have a small child look at you, then accusingly at it’s parents as if to ask “Parent, why am I not wearing a cloak right now?”

Once again, with pretty much every mention of LARP, it reminds me of the fun and makes me want to do more, and most of that is interstate. So, what do I do with the kit I have now? Do I go to the shops in costume (I don’t know if I’ve gained a reputation amongst my neighbours yet), or try to write something that I can actually run? We all know what my track record is like with that sort of thing and it’s not great. Sure, I’m contemplating one for Pheno next year, but a single session three hour freeform scores lower on the difficulty scale than a full day LARP. There’d be a similar amount of rules though, as Path of the Warden converted me to a minimal rules (I believe it’s called Nordic, but don’t quote me on that) approach. It’s a vicious circle – I buy stuff that could be used at LARP and that makes me happy, but rarely actually get the chance to use it. Maybe I should stage some small scale costume parties or wear a cape when I’m working in the store?

Switching back to the miserable, the recent malaise has been that bad it’s kept me from sword. Well, that, and an issue with my left hand – I’ve been getting wrist soreness and the muscle on the back of the hand has been sore. I think it was down to a heavy jacket (Yes, my mid life crisis rock and roll one) pressing down on that part of the hand rather than anything more serious. At least, I hope not. It seems to be recovering, though from time to time it’ll flare up and make itself known. I’ve been back at sword the last couple of weeks, and while it’s a struggle from time to time, it feels really good. I train with a lovely bunch of folks, and the welcome back’s were much needed, as nervous as I was walking back in the hall after the time off.

There has been some definite good news though – planning for the next Ravenswood LARP event has kicked back into gear, and I’m excited for it. Based on how Coach was received last year I’m ecstatic, and planning for a bigger and better Phys Ed experience, one with on and off field participation! (I’m also really hoping Spiritual House get’s some new students, so I can be the Yowie again.) New costume plans, games and ideas are floating around, and I’ve been very good and not overwhelmed the admin chat with them, or even asked any of the faculty staff if they wanted to do something IC romance wise. Tickets are on sale now, so if you want to cast some spells and have some fun, get on it! Yes, Western Australia is a trek, but the game (and the people behind it) are wonderful and well worth it. I’m really hoping to not be the only one from NSW next event.

In other good news, I have secured tickets to a special event, as one of my favourite comics is returning. Officially, he’s here for his day job as part of the BBC Ashes coverage team, but he managed to book some shows in around that. He’s the Prince of Puns, the Baron of Bullshit, the Cardinal of Cricket Stats, the one and only Andy Zaltzman! You may know him from his recent Taskmaster UK victory, The Bugle podcast (It’s former co-host being some guy named John Oliver) his other radio and TV appearances, or the pun runs I keep playing to people when I introduce them to the Bugle. He’s also responsible for why I can’t help giggling at the merest mention of Silvio Berlusconi as well as my introduction to the Iron Sheik and for those I am eternally grateful.

I’m not sure how to end this, I’ve been bouncing back and forth. I’d like to say there’s light at the end of the tunnel and that it’s not a freight train and that would be mostly right. Have I spend more time wanting to do something than actually doing it? Emailing the NSW police to ask if I can import a flintlock cap gun instead of writing plot? (I did get a response, but it merely quoted the act at me, and not, as I asked, give me a Yes/No answer as to if I could or not) Have I spent time idly musing about a slow introduction of a supernatural element into a setting and the risks/rewards inherent in that? Really, I’d just be happy to be able to get up in the morning and get something done before having to leave for work, that would be bloody lovely. Surely that’s not too much to ask?

Good night, sleep well. I’ll most likely kill you in the morning.