Another Phenomenon has finished and I find myself back at home again starring at reality. As always, I’m shattered with exhaustion and semi lucid, but running 9 sessions from 11 will do that to you. Good times. Quotes from my event will be in italics scattered about, with no context given. (As far as I know they’re all correct, but feel free to correct me if not) Consider that incentive to sign up for my events in future, as my players are fucking hilarious. Anyhow, let’s commence the recap!

Overall, it’s been bloody lovely. There’s been some wonderful compliments towards me and my event, though the highlight was being told in another game someone was trying to describe an NPC’s hair and beard, which was summed up as “Just like Gav.” I’m very pleased by that, and have made sure not to ask who the NPC in question was. The event organisers and volunteers continue to be lovely, supportive and encouraging and I adore them for it. It feels like being back amongst my people when I walk in, and that was before I found out that I was A: in the same room the entire con and B: it was on the ground floor and close to a bathroom. It’s the little things that can matter the most.

“Lawrence, I’ve been informed you were trained at some sort of Police Academy. I’ve seen those movies and I’m not impressed.”

“How’s things been? Apart from the cancer?”

“Of course they can fit it in the engine, they don’t call it a mini gun for nothing!”

Anyhow, my event. There was frantic re-writing beforehand (I look back fondly on the first of my Musketeers games which was play-tested a month before the event, something I’ve never managed again) and stress. I may take too much joy from people enjoying my work, but I continue to be nervous before my con games. As always, after the first session I shouldn’t have. One of my regulars commented it was his 2nd, maybe 3rd, Pheno with his first session being my game, and he was very pleased by that. Post session, there was quite the sigh of relief. Had a player later either at her first con, or her first roleplaying game (I don’t remember), but if that was her first game she’ll be stunning going forward. Felt good to be back in the saddle.

“They don’t expect the first explosion, but we’ve got more explosions to come.”

“The recoil on the shotgun will lift us higher.”

“The motion tracker from Aliens, but for printers.”

Overall, the game itself went as well as I’d hoped for, though I’m willing to admit some sessions were better than others. Nothing to do with the players, but I’m the first to admit my 1st 2 sessions on the Sunday weren’t quite up to my usual standards – the first session on daylight saving day is always a crap shoot and 3 players left me scrambling to fill a few more gaps. The afternoon session was restrained, owing to a friend of mine’s kid being a player. The kid was spectacular though, and thoroughly deserved the trophy I gave him. Anyhow, that restraint might be how the late session Sunday ended up as a torrent of filth. I may have cracked open that particular Pandora’s (Shoe) Box, but the players ripped it open and let the horror flow freely. Turned out the movie in that session was part funded by product placement/sponsorship from Wikifeet (If you don’t know what that is, don’t search for it) and the level of filth went to 11. Thousand.

“The good news is, I’m a notoriously bad shot. The bad news is, I’m shooting to wound.”

“That might be the worlds largest Rick-Roll?”

“There’s a bunch of settings on the side (of the taser): Recharge, Tickle, Incapacitate, War Crime.”

The final 2 sessions (On the Monday of the con) were minimal dice, maximum narration. We were all incredibly tired, on the same level and I spent a lot of it trying not to collapse from laughter. I think the morning session was the point at which we mutually tried to connect the film to as many fictional universes as possible. So, the people who freeze frame the film will spot shout outs to this company, mentions of these fictional companies and various actors are either in cameos, or in the background. 1 session had Gillian Anderson and David Duchovny playing a characters parents, while the scores at the virtual target practise software in another had the names J Steed, M Smart and I Gadget. I bloody love my players, especially when they match my style of crazy.

“I’m not sure I’ve ever described an axe being touched as sensual.”

“The only people I’ve upset is the Homeowners Association and I can take them.”

“If it’s an Eastern European possum, then it’s a raccoon, and has a moose friend and I hate them both!”

The following are out of context highlights. Brace yourselves.
The mysterious island the bad guy’s base was located on was shaped like a large foot in the ‘funded by Wikifeet’ session. They entered the caves underneath through a gap between the toes.
Me hearing a player mention using an AR15 and immediately thinking “AR15 – when you absolutely, positively have to kill every motherfucking student in the school, accept no substitute.” I’m not proud.
One of the hacker’s contacts being the actual Nicholas Cage.
All the sex dungeon jokes in one session.
The ways some groups took over the villain’s organisation. Some were intimidation, most involved murder, and in one case a PC snuck up behind him and cut his throat while he was on a zoom call with his underlings.
The way the driver’s (played by Helen Mirren) car having an increasingly large central console with the standard gears being Neutral, Reverse, Drive and Donuts.
What was possibly the world’s largest Rick-Roll.
A bomb detonation being stopped by a knife being thrown into a hand. (I like to think wherever he is that Clancy Brown smiled at that point)
The running gag of “technobabble” “In English?”
Wanting to hear Helen Mirren say “Ooops, had the silly thing in reverse.”

“You didn’t kill my father, will you stop saying that!”

“I’m not that much of a dick, I’m only a mild amount of dick.”

“Valkyrie, Miss Piggy, either way they’re both women we’re not going to fuck with.”

It was fucking glorious. I didn’t get sick this year, even if the plan to nap in my spare sessions didn’t quite work out. The joy of compliments, and plotting new ideas. Some of them include:
5 versions of Batman have to work together. (There may be a secret session with 4 of them being Adam West, with the last PC being the actual Adam West)
Staff at a fantasy charity shop dealing with cursed magic items.
Elderly thieves have to escape from a heavily fortified retirement home.

Anyhow, time for sleep. You should be planning to attend next Pheno.